42

No, it's not my birthday.

Am officially at 42 weeks today... although we did adjust my due date to the 30th for other reasons. Thinking I'm gonna start announcing the 30th date in earnest to get people (all sweet and well-meaning, of course) off . my . back!!! LOL

Feeling fine. Baby is still "his" ornery kicking squirming self. All is well. Except that I'm trying not to wig out about being "really overdue"!!! (Said in that tone of course!) ;-)

See, BD#1 was born at 41 weeks. BD#2 was born at 41 weeks & 3 days. So, I've been telling myself, wouldn't it be cute if BD#3 was born at 41 weeks and 6 days?? In fact, it would be so cute that I promised myself all along that I wouldn't wig out until I'd past 41&6. Which . was . yesterday.

When I woke up this morning wigging out because I was at a full authentic 42 weeks, it took me a while to figure out that in all of my promising myself that I wouldn't wig out til I past 41&6 (never thinking that I would actually get past it), I must have inadvertently given myself permission to wig out at 42... and I'm at 42. %-)

So now I have to remind myself that the *only* reason I'm wigging out is having spent months telling myself that I wouldn't--at least not until today. There's really nothing to wig out over. I'm feeling great, baby is acting normal. All is well. :-]

Off to try out that new griddle we got for Christmas. Gotta make the Saturday morning pancakes.

On Child-birth, Epidurals, and Inductions

Warning: L-O-N-G Disjointed Ranting/Venting ahead—I’m pregnant, remember?? LOL

Just had yet another friend induced before her due date wind up with a c-section because the baby's heart-rate was dropping (during the second day of induction drug administration). Gar!!! What is with the “medical establishment”?? I "get" a first-time mom listening really closely to the Dr and going along with an early induction (of a technically full-term baby—39 weeks)... but if the drugs didn't work during the first 12 hours... do you think that maybe, just maybe, someone could figure out that the baby isn't ready to come out yet?? Could you admit that & just back off; let mom go home & wait a while (til closer to her due date)?? Anyone have a brick wall I can beat my head on???

I will freely admit to being biased. Not against the medical establishment per se, but against pregnancy and childbirth being treated like an illness or a disease that needs to be “fixed” or helped along by said establishment. Our bodies ARE designed to birth efficiently (and safely—imagine that!), and without interference in the vast majority of cases. Why do people insist on messing with a good & natural thing?

I’m just tired… Tired of being treated like an enemy by my IRL friends of child-bearing age because I don’t want an epidural during labor and delivery. Tired of being considered a novelty/circus freak because I want to stay in the comfort of my own home to deliver our baby. Tired of people being aggravated with me because we didn’t get an ultrasound this time (so we don’t know the baby’s gender yet).

SO WHAT?????

The pain “relieving” drugs DO hit the baby’s system; and no, we don’t know their long-term effects--although their short-term effects are pretty clearly visible. And what’s so weird about having a baby outside of a hospital setting anyway?? Women have been giving birth “naturally” for thousands of years. Hospitals (and the “pain-relieving” drugs they offer) haven’t been around for anywhere near that long. You used to have to wait til the baby was ready to be born to birth it (and you certainly never knew what you were having ahead of time, *grins*).

True, that in some circumstances a “natural” delivery is not without risk. And yes, in some cases the “medical establishment” is all that stands between having a live baby or a tiny casket. Medicine has it’s place. The advancements in the reduction of fetal/maternal fatalities that have been made are legitimate advancements. But for a healthy “low-risk” pregnancy??? Why, why, why are women (and their Dr’s) so intent on interfering with normal biological processes? Why?

When I was expecting BD#1, during our “newbie parents tour the hospital” trek, we were told this hospital was proud of their low epidural rate---of 90%!!! Um… 90% is low?? Are you freakin’ kidding me?? [Comparatively the hospital across town (their main competitors) had a 95% epidural rate. BUT the hospital across town also had the only Level 3 NICU in town, so they dealt with all the high-risk deliveries. Personally, I’d expect higher intervention rates there.] I know “pain-free” labor sounds appealing--especially to a first-time mom who’s heard nothing but horror stories from her girl-friends about how dreadfully awful child-birth was. (Why do we do that to each other anyway?)

My problem is that for every friend I have who’s had an epidural & therefore a “pain-free” delivery; I’ve got one or two whose epidurals didn’t take properly (or at all), and they’ve wound up with worse child-birth experiences than if they’d just left well enough alone. Same story with inductions. The statistics on elective inductions ending in c-sections are staggering. Of course, c-section rates (in the Southeast particularly) are staggering too, so I guess there shouldn’t be much surprise there. We, the generic societal we that is, are intervention happy.

We shouldn’t be, IMnsHO. But more on that later. For now I need sleep, ‘cause you never know when you’ll wake up in labor. LOL But you do remember I said I’m biased? There’s a reason I wasn’t interested in getting an epidural with our first—who I did have a fantastic hospital delivery experience with BTW, as one of those pesky 10% non-epidural mothers. :-D Yeah, more on that later. This post is w-a-y too long already!

End of rant.


---------------------
Edited to add:

If you’re interested in reading more about the correlations noted between harmless interventions like epidurals and c-section rates, pick up a copy of Henci Goer’s book The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth. Nice provocative title, eh? It’s worth reading if you are in your baby years—especially if you’re not happy with a previous birth experience. Studies can’t prove anything, but they can document trends. Repeat after me: Correlation does NOT equal causation. But neither is ignorance always bliss.

As a first-time pregnant reader, I really appreciated her documentation. While Ms. Goer makes no bones about her personal slant toward the midwifery model of care, she provides the documentation so you can think through the issues surrounding labor and delivery for yourself and/or go do more research. As she quotes Diana Korte and Roberta Scaer from A Good Birth, A Safe Birth: “If you don’t know your options, you don’t have any.”

Go check out Henci’s book, and the reviews on Amazon. The negative reviewers make good (valid) points, too.

Still waiting...

Plumbing and electric are all fixed up. Baby is still in vitro. Christmas is next week. Must . get . sleep.....

Waiting...

Waiting for the electrician to come back for a second day in a row but only after paying a service call to the plumber to tell us we need the electrician out here again (different issue: today the hot water only has 110 available instead of 220; yesterday two rooms dark b/c they were wired to the same GFCI--what's with that?!).... Guess it's a good thing the baby is waiting... for now...

Oh, and the other two?? Running back & forth through the house trying to hit each other!! "She runs really fast!" Well, duh!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

We've been privileged to have my hubby's mom here this week. The kids have been enjoying having Memere here to dispense hugs and read stories. I think we got a few pictures of her to prove she actually made it here (usually she successfully dodges the camera ;-)).



She got me back though (at my s-i-l's insistence), so we have a dread "belly shot" to post. Now for the life of me, I don't get what the big deal is. Why on earth do pregnant women everywhere stand in front of full length mirrors & take pictures of themselves?? You still can't see the baby!?! Mom did get a great shot though... me standing on a dining room chair to take an over-head-view picture of the kids latest train-track arrangement.



Unfortunately I don't have access to her camera card at the moment, so you'll have to be content with the shot she took on our camera. Enjoy....... if you dare.


Thanksgiving dinner was a rousing success. Tried out a new pumpkin pie recipe this year. Think pre-cooking the filling, fresh ginger, adding 5 eggs & a cup of heavy cream. :) Gooooooooooood pumpkin pie!! The pecan pie wasn't bad either (if I do say so myself). Those chef guys do know how to make a mean pie and write good instructions! Washed said pies down with awesome Dominican coffee, prepared in a Dominican-style steam percolator, sweetened with Dominican sugar--all imported by the most awesome foodie ever--LJ! Goodness in a cup. Hopefully it wasn't as stout with caffeine as it was with taste--cause it was GOOD strong coffee!

Off to ruminate for a while longer before bedtime.


My apologies for the lack of recipe at the pumpkin pie link. I had picked up a copy of the magazine at a local high-end grocery store during my semi-annual stock-up on dried herbs and spices. One slice of that pie this evening was worth every penny of the newsstand price. Yeah, it was *that* good.

Profoundly Sorry

Statement about Race at Bob Jones University

At Bob Jones University, Scripture is our final authority for faith and practice and it is our intent to have it govern all of our policies. It teaches that God created the human race as one race. History, reality and Scripture affirm that in that act of creation was the potential for great diversity, manifested today by the remarkable racial and cultural diversity of humanity. Scripture also teaches that this beautiful, God-caused and sustained diversity is divinely intended to incline mankind to seek the Lord and depend on Him for salvation from sin (Acts 17:24–28).

The true unity of humanity is found only through faith in Christ alone for salvation from sin—in contrast to the superficial unity found in humanistic philosophies or political points of view. For those made new in Christ, all sinful social, cultural and racial barriers are erased (Colossians 3:11), allowing the beauty of redeemed human unity in diversity to be demonstrated through the Church.

The Christian is set free by Christ’s redeeming grace to love God fully and to love his neighbor as himself, regardless of his neighbor’s race or culture. As believers, we demonstrate our love for others first by presenting Christ our Great Savior to every person, irrespective of race, culture, or national origin. This we do in obedience to Christ’s final command to proclaim the Gospel to all men (Matthew 28:19–20). As believers we are also committed to demonstrating the love of Christ daily in our relationships with others, disregarding the economic, cultural and racial divisions invented by sinful humanity (Luke 10:25–37; James 2:1–13).

Bob Jones University has existed since 1927 as a private Christian institution of higher learning for the purpose of helping young men and women cultivate a biblical worldview, represent Christ and His Gospel to others, and glorify God in every dimension of life.

BJU’s history has been chiefly characterized by striving to achieve those goals; but like any human institution, we have failures as well. For almost two centuries American Christianity, including BJU in its early stages, was characterized by the segregationist ethos of American culture. Consequently, for far too long, we allowed institutional policies regarding race to be shaped more directly by that ethos than by the principles and precepts of the Scriptures. We conformed to the culture rather than provide a clear Christian counterpoint to it.

In so doing, we failed to accurately represent the Lord and to fulfill the commandment to love others as ourselves. For these failures we are profoundly sorry. Though no known antagonism toward minorities or expressions of racism on a personal level have ever been tolerated on our campus, we allowed institutional policies to remain in place that were racially hurtful.

On national television in March 2000, Bob Jones III, who was the university’s president until 2005, stated that BJU was wrong in not admitting African-American students before 1971, which sadly was a common practice of both public and private universities in the years prior to that time. On the same program, he announced the lifting of the University’s policy against interracial dating.

Our sincere desire is to exhibit a truly Christlike spirit and biblical position in these areas. Today, Bob Jones University enrolls students from all 50 states and nearly 50 countries, representing various ethnicities and cultures. The University solicits financial support for two scholarship funds for minority applicants, and the administration is committed to maintaining on the campus the racial and cultural diversity and harmony characteristic of the true Church of Jesus Christ throughout the world.

Released November 20, 2008
---------------------------------------------------------------

Rejoice with us!! I never thought we’d see “profoundly” and “sorry” in the same sentence. The clarity and directness of this statement regarding our unity in Christ is a delight to read. Praise the Lord!

Please-Reconcile

If you're in any way a part of BJU; student, alumni, faculty or staff-present or former... please consider signing the open letter at Please Reconcile if you have not already done so.

If you want our take on it, read here.

For the record, the letter doesn't actually call for an apology for past actions (as a LOT of it's detractors claim), rather (at least as I read it) asks the admin to reconcile between statements made in the past (that haven't been repudiated) and their current position.

Even on Larry King Live, Dr Bob III said the rule was being dropped but the principle behind the rule was an important one.

JONES: Well, being a Bible believing institution, Larry, we try to base things on Bible principle. The problem we have today is that our principle is so greatly misunderstood. People think we don't let them date because we are racist, in other words to be racist you have to treat people differently. We don't. We don't let them date, because we were trying, as an example, to enforce something, a principle that is much greater than this.

We stand against the one-world government, against the coming world of anti-Christ, which is a one world system of blending, of all differences, of blending of national differences, economic differences, church differences, into a big one ecumenical world. The Bible is very clear about this.

We said, you know, way back years ago, when we first had a problem, which was -- by the way, we started this principle, back in the mid-'50s, I was a college student at BJU at the time and it was with an Asian and Caucasian is -- we didn't even have black students for another 15 years. So it was not put there as a black thing, I think people need to understand that.

KING: So the fear of one world relates back to two people dating?

JONES: Now, we realize that a inter-racial marriage is not going to bring in the world the anti-Christ by any means, but if we as Christians stand for Christ and not anti-Christ, and we see -- we are against the one world church. We are against one economy, one political system.

We see what the Bible says about this, so we say, OK, if they're going to blend this world -- and inter-racial marriage is a genetic blending, which is a very definite sort of blending -- we said as -- let's put this policy in here, because we are against the one world church and, way back, 17 years ago when I was on your program, I was saying on programs all across America, we are not going to the Supreme Court fighting for our rule and our -- we are fighting for our right to it. There is a religious freedom issue, that's all we ever fought for.

KING: You are a private institution, you don't get the tax benefit because -- but you are entitled to the thing -- I'm trying to find out why you have the rule.

JONES: Yes. We have the rule, because it was a part of a bigger -- it was a -- it wasn't the rule itself. We can't point to a verse in the Bible that says you shouldn't date or marry inter-racial.

KING: You can't back it up?

JONES: No, we can't back it up with a verse from the Bible. We never have tried to, we have never tried to do that. But we have said there is a principle here, an overriding principle of the one world government. But let me tell you how insignificant this is. Students never hear it preached. There have been four, five, six generations of students that graduated from there have never heard this preached in our chapel or taught in our school. To us...

KING: But it's a rule, though, they know they can't.

JONES: It is a rule, it is, but it's the most insignificant thing, but now, we are being defined as a racist school. I mean, that is all the media talks about.

KING: Partly, during the era -- you know -- the era of segregation, segregationists said, well, we are not racist, we just think the races should be apart, they should be treated equally, but not together, and that was regarded as a kind of a cop-out.

JONES: Yes.

KING: Do you think maybe -- I mean, you could change that, you think it is a stretch maybe? In other words, have you given thought to maybe that's taking it too far, down to two people into a whole one world concept?

JONES: I don't think it's taking it too far, but I can tell you this, we don't have to have that rule. In fact, as of today, we have dropped the rule. We have dropped the rule for this reason.

KING: Today?

JONES: Today. I met with the administrators this afternoon before coming here. But let me tell you why we dropped it. We don't want this to be a -- here is a great institution, one of the premier academic institutions in America, one of the premier Christian colleges of America. We have a broader testimony. And if all anybody can see is this rule, which we never talk about or preach, which most of our students couldn't even tell you what it is. It is that unimportant to us.

I said to our administration, you know, guys, this thing is of such insignificance to us, it is so significant to the world at large, the media particularly, why should we have this here as an obstacle? It hurts our graduates, we love our graduates greatly, it hurts maybe the church, as well. I don't want to hurt the church of Jesus Christ.

Later...

JONES: It is ended, and I want it to be very clear why it has ended. Our concern for the cause of Christ, our concern for our graduates, our concern for our testimony, our concern for the school's broader usefulness is greater to us than a rule that we never talk about and that is meaningless to us. The principle upon which it's based is very, very important.

(Emphases mine)

Of course, that's not quite so hard a stance as saying it's a Biblical rule (like they said in the Supreme Court in the 70's...), but the fact remains the principle is "very, very important"??? Um..... What?!?!?

These clips from this interview are what has grieved me the most through all of this... "BJU is a racist school" stuff. I was a student at BJU during the "four, five, six generations of students that graduated from there have never heard this preached in our chapel or taught in our school." Believe me--"this" WAS taught. It was NOT just a dusty old rule that no one heard about. Students of certain minorities heard about the rule--loud and clear, and some times frequently. Please do not misunderstand, I AM grateful the rule was dropped; but I am also grieved at the representation given on LKL.

What the signatories of the open letter are asking of BJU's leadership is not an "apology for past actions" per se, but some attempt at reconciliation of these two facts.

1. The rule was indeed dropped.
2. But, even in the dropping, the principle behind the rule was called "very important."

Another Quilt Give-away...

... 3 of them actually. You know, I've never met a quilter who wasn't generous to a fault, but I never knew so many quilters gave away quilts!!! Dana at the Red Barn Co. is actually giving away 3 quilts (one each to three different people). Entry ends on Nov.17th at 7pm EST, so anyone interested in entering needs to get over there quickly. :-) If nothing else, go look at the pictures of her quilts--beautiful!!!

Quilt anyone??

Of all the things I've wanted to learn, quilting is one of those things up on top of my list. One of the gals from church makes a baby quilt for each new addition to our church nursery... one of these days I'll hit her up for quilting lessons. But in the absence of time to quilt for myself and others, what could be better than a chance to win a free quilt?? Thanks to my s-i-l for pointing out these two give-aways...

The first quilt is being given away by Karen--she found the top at an antique store!!





The second quilt is being given by Abbie, who made it in honor of a friend who had donated bone marrow!!


Entry for both of these give-aways ends soon, so if quilting is your thing... go enter!!!

Read This!!

Good thoughts from Molly on mercy... (and wet beds). :-)

A teaser:

In the Midday Office of The Divine Hours today, I read, “There is forgiveness with You; therefore You shall be feared,” (Psalm 130:3) and I sat and thought about that for a little while, because it didn’t seem to make sense. Then I realized that the One who can remove guilt and does, is, of all things, the most merciful person there is. That level of mercy in One who has that kind of power? It is palpably frightening. It’s not normal. It’s not what we know.

Gender Prediction Quizzes??

These always crack me up... With our first two dragons, I had ultrasounds done. Now that we have one of each gender, we're not going to bother. But, I do these "gender prediction quizzes" with each baby anyway. Usually I come out about 40/60 in one direction or the other--usually the *wrong* direction, I might add. *grins* This baby's quiz is no exception... The results??


Congratulations!

You have a 43% chance of having a boy.
And you have a 56% chance of having a girl.

And Here's Why...

You are carrying the extra weight around the hips and bottom, so it's a girl.--but I did this with my first (a boy), and not with my second (a girl).

The hair on your legs is not growing any faster during your pregnancy, so it's a girl.--mine grows fast, pregnant or not (blame it on sorta-PCOS).

Girls are carried high. You are going to have a girl.--I carried my boy *really* high, and my girl *really* low. Go figure.

Sleeping in a bed with your pillow to the north indicates that you will be having a boy.--I've slept the same way with both prior pregnancies.

Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy. You are having a boy.--my feet are *always* cold, just ask my long-suffering husband!

You prefer the heel of a loaf of bread. You are having a boy.--Preferring the heel *might* be pregnancy related, or it might just be that I like home-made bread crusts!! :-D Either way, I liked them with both prior pregnancies.

Dad-to-be hasn't been gaining weight along with Mom-to-be, so it will be a girl.--OK, so I didn't *really* make him get on the scale, but he didn't gain a substantial amount with either prior pregnancy.

The maternal grandmother doesn't have gray hair (dyed or natural), so a girl will be born.--This one is just weird. I know gals whose moms had grayed early, yet had all girl grand-babies, and natural colored grandmas with all-boy grand-kids. Funny, I always though *Dad* cornered the market on boy-vs-girl babies decision. LOL

You didn't have morning sickness early in pregnancy, so it will be a boy.--I don't do morning sickness. Period.

You are looking particularly good during pregnancy. Therefore, it must be a boy, because girls steal their mother's looks.--I don't ever look "particularly good." *snickers* However, my skin stays "looking good" because I drink tons of water. Y'all try it. Water is good for you--and contrary to popular quotes, drinking the water will *not* get you pregnant. ROFL.

Your chest development has not been very dramatic during pregnancy. You should expect a boy.--Gee, isn't that a bit personal?? Frankly, there's not a lot of difference between pregnancies. ;-) You'll just have to take my word for it. LOL

Since the sum of the mother's age at conception and the number of the month of conception is even, it will be a boy.--Yeah, OK.

A needle on a thread held over you belly moves from side-to-side, so it will be a girl.--My boy did the side-to-side, and my girl did the circles. Getting the idea that my kids are contrary??

Your urine is a bright neon yellow color, so you will have a boy.--Taking extra Vit. A or most any pre-natal vitamin has the same effect.

You are craving sweets, which means that it is a girl.--Funny, I *craved* sweets with my boy (and I do mean CRAVED); but with my girl I was constantly putting half-eaten bowls of ice cream back in to the freezer "for later." Trust me--this was NOT normal behavior for me, just while carrying my little girl. This pregnancy is back to sweets-as-preferred... er... normal. :-D

Your nose hasn't changed during pregnancy, which indicates a girl.--Yeah, OK, whatever. My nose doesn't change when I'm pregnant, neither do my feet for that matter.

You have been craving meats or cheeses, so it is a boy.--This is a universal sign of being pregnant for me. I'm a meat-and-potatoes kind of gal anyway, but really do crave protein anytime I'm pregnant. Not a gender-differential for me.

Your baby's heart rate is 140 or more beats per minute, so it's a girl.--My boy's heart rates were always above 140, and my girl's were always below 140. Go figure. (This one's are high again.)

You must have orange juice every day, so it's a girl.--Maybe I just want vitamin C to help absorb the iron in my pre-natals?? I couldn't *stand* OJ while carrying Little Miss. Don't remember from BD#1s pregnancy. OJ is OK this time around though...

You are not having headaches, so it's a girl.--Bwhahahaha. I didn't get headaches with my boy; but I had the worst headaches ever while carrying my little girl. Too many female hormones in one body, if you ask me!! LOL (Or maybe I'm the obstinate one. :-D)

Your belly looks like a basketball, so it's a boy.--Check. First one (boy) was a BB. Second one (girl) was a watermelon. Back to a BB for this one. Hey, they've got to get one or two correct, right?! :-)

You show them the palm of your hand, so it's a girl.--Eh, I'm always palms-up. Not a pregnancy thing for me.

You use the body of the mug, so it's a girl.--No, I have big hands, so I *always* use the body of the mug. Incidentally, that's also why I don't like little .22 pistols. Their grips are always WAY too small for my hands. Gimmie a .357 any day of the week. ;-)

Copyright © 1997, 1998 by Childbirth.org All rights reserved.



So.... while they say this one is 56% more likely to be a girl than a boy... For 7 of the 13 questions that predicted BD#3 will be a girl, what they said predicted "girl" were characteristics of my previous boy's pregnancy but NOT of my girl's. Sorta conversely, for 9 of the 10 above questions that predicted BD#3 will be a boy, what they said predicted "boy" are general pregnancy characteristics for me--things I had in common with both prior pregnancies, or that just describe my life in general. Only ONE of the "boy-predictor" questions was true of my pregnancy with my boy. *snickers* So, yeah, I think I'm the obstinate one.

The final--prior track record adjusted--tally of the 23 characteristics is... 8 votes for boy and 15 undecided. ROFL And for the record I do think BD#3 is probably a boy; but don't tell the baby, just in case it's more obstinate than I am. LOL

Who is Ingrid anyway?

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Ingrid!

You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.


• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.


• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.


• Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.


• Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being an Ingrid

• my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level


• my ability to establish warm connections with people


• admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life


• my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor


• being unique and being seen as unique by others


• having aesthetic sensibilities


• being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being an Ingrid

• experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair


• feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved


• feeling guilty when I disappoint people


• feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me


• expecting too much from myself and life


• fearing being abandoned


• obsessing over resentments


• longing for what I don't have

Ingrids as Children Often

• have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games


• are very sensitive


• feel that they don't fit in


• believe they are missing something that other people have


• attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.


• become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood


• feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Ingrids as Parents

• help their children become who they really are


• support their children's creativity and originality


• are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings


• are sometimes overly critical or overly protective


• are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Family!!!

My mom got to come visit Monday and Tuesday; thanks to her brother and his wifey coming down from Canada to visit my folks, then deciding to come the extra 4 hours to see us too. Yeah for family willing to endure L-O-N-G road trips!! Anyway, we got a few pictures snapped while everyone was here. Enjoy!!


The 5 of us with Grandma.


All the crazy Canucks!


Aren't the kid's tee-shirts cute?


3 generations of us gals.

And can it be...

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.




Nods to CyberHymnal.org for that 5th verse I'd never heard & for restoring the last two lines per verse. Our church hymnal has us sing
"Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?" instead of the proper last lines for each of the 3 verses they printed. Annoying, especially when I learned it with 5 longer verses!!! (But then I'm easily annoyed some days.)

For what it's worth, I think the hymn ought to be titled "Amazing Grace" but I guess that title was already taken. ;-)

Please Reconcile

Dear Friends & BJU Alumni,

If you have already "signed" the Please Reconcile letter, then thank you.

If you would like to "sign" the Please Reconcile letter or learn more about Please Reconcile, then please go to please-reconcile.org.

...

During our first semester at the University in the early '90s, my friend (Eric) -- who is half caucasian & half oriental -- was called to the Dean of Men's office. There Dean Tony Miller confronted Eric about the evils of inter-racial dating of which we were completely ignorant. To the best of my knowledge, Eric had not gone on any dates yet; so I do not believe this action was in response to an inter-racial date. (Was every student called to such a meeting or was it just the minorities?) However, I was so astonished by this information that I asked Dean Miller for the University's scriptural support for such a position. He responded by directing us to Genesis 10:1, which states, "Now these are the generations of the sons of Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth: and unto them were sons born after the flood."

At this point Dean Miller must have detected our puzzled expressions despite the light of such clear and convincing revelation because he then patiently explained that Shem, Ham, and Japheth were the fathers of the yellow, black, and white races respectively. He followed by artfully unfolding that God, Himself, separated these three races at the Tower of Babel. His finale was the inescapable conclusion that humanity's division at Babel was God's plan and that we should not frustrate God's plan by attempting to reunite the races.

Although this explanation is less than satisfactory from both logical and hermeneutical standpoints, Eric quickly moved on to the practical implications of such a philosophy by dropping the bomb that he was half Shem and half Japheth according to this reckoning. This news appeared to catch Dean Miller off guard. (He may have been under the mistaken impression that Eric was completely of Asian descent.) However, he soon recovered, and with wisdom that Solomon could only marvel at, announced that since Eric was 50% white & 50% yellow he (Eric) must choose then and there to date either white or yellow young ladies and never to recant once his choice was made.

Of course, Eric immediately decided to date only young ladies who were of the seed of Japheth and to swear off ever taking a Shemitess to an artist series, the couch emporium, or other dating venue. He later confided in me that his hasty but well-thought decision was based on the assumption that he would be dating at all and his cogent observation that white girls outnumbered oriental girls by about 1000 to 1 at BJU. Thus Satan's plans to reunite humanity and resume work on that wicked tower were once again thwarted by steadfast dedication to unwritten University policy and the quick thinking of a singular dean.

...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry about it, but my post (above) is -- to the best of my recollection -- an absolutely accurate recounting of what transpired on that day. I am no writer, and I certainly could not make up such a tragically amusing scenario.

The Ravens

In a 1 Kings 17 moment, we had a van-load of groceries dropped off at our house today.

3 lbs. apples
3 lbs. sweet potatoes
1 head cabbage
1 lb. baby carrots
4 zucchini

8 oz. sharp cheddar cheese
1 dzn. eggs
1 gallon milk

8 lbs. chicken leg quarters
6 lbs. smoked ham
3 lbs. ground chuck

5 lbs. all purpose flour
5 lbs. self-rising flour

And another friend came by and left behind 6 lbs. of split peas (so I get to make split-pea soup with the left-over ham and ham bone stock!!!)


So yes, despite being a bit "under-employed" at the moment, God's faithfulness continues. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits!! Ps. 103:2

How long has it been?

Since you've heard or sung any of these??


He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own, And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known. I come to the garden alone while the dew is still on the roses, and voice I hear, falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses... and He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own... and the joy we share, as we tarry there, none other has ever known.

And Jesus said, Come to the water, stand by my side; I know you are thirsty you won't be denied, I felt every tear drop, when in darkness you cried, and I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.

Shackled by a heavy burden, 'neath a load of guilt and shame, then the hand of Jesus touched me, and now I am no longer the same. (or) Since I met this blessed Saviour, since He cleansed and made me whole, I will never cease to praise him, I'll shout it while eternity rolls:
He touched me, He touched me; and Oh the joy that floods my soul, something happened and now I know, He touched me and made me whole.

What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear, what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.

Just a closer walk with thee, if I falter Lord who cares, none but thee my burden bears, none but thee, dear Lord, none but thee. Just a closer walk with thee, grant it Jesus is my plea, daily walking close with thee, let it be dear Lord, let it be.... I'll be satisfied as long, as I walk, let me walk close to thee.

How can I say thanks for the things you have done for me, things so undeserved, yet you give to prove your love for me, the voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude, all that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to thee. To God be the glory, to God be the glory, to God be the glory for the things He has done. With His blood he has saved me, with His power he has raised me, to God be the glory for the things He has done. Just let me live my life, let it be pleasing Lord to thee; and should I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary. With His blood He has saved me, with His power He has raised me... to God be the glory for the things He has done.


I've been listening to a CD of Dino. One of the songs on it is a medley of the songs above, all in one package. :-) You know it's difficult to transcribe words from dusty memories with tears streaming down your face, right?! I learned some of these at home growing up, or in choir during Jr. High (church or school, or both). Either way, Jr. High was a *long* time ago. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly and clearly the words come flooding back when I hear the melodies of songs I once sang regularly. Nothing can lift the soul in quite the same way that music can...

GOYB Parenting

For alternatives to the usual "spanking is the primary and best tool in the parenting-of-young-ones toolbox" child-rearing paradigm found in Fundamentalism, may I introduce you to: Get off your butt parenting. Gotta love the name! *snickers* So true though. If you want to adopt a less confrontational parenting style, you (the parent) are going to *have* to get off the couch more often. Hollering instructions in from the next room . will . not . cut . it. Seriously.

GOYBP defined:


It's not about spanking.



Connect before you correct.

Can you spell "misspell"?

Spelling mistakes.... gar!!

Anyone who knows me IRL will howl at the thought that spelling mistakes drive me up the wall because I am constantly heard asking "How do you spell...?" But hey, I have the right to be a hypocrite, yes?? ;-)

Few things bother me more than spelling mistakes on people's personal blogs, in e-groups, and mass group e-mails. Very few things. Especially when those mistakes are made by mothers who are homeschooling their children. Especially then. RARH!!!

Granted some of my impatience is born of (literally) countless hours on the phone with home-schooling moms bewailing the abysmal spelling scores on their children's "end of year" standardized test results. "But she/he loves to read!?!" (Did'ya catch the whiney tone?)

Um.... yea, so? Obviously reading ability has precious little to do with aptitude for spelling (or his/her scores wouldn't be so low). They are two separate skills that *must* be taught as such. Spelling is NOT learned by osmosis, or absorbed by extensive reading. Vocabulary perhaps, but not spelling.

Or don't bother teaching your kids how to spell. Why should I care? After all, they're growing up with spell checks embedded in every word-processing program imaginable. Who needs to learn to spell well anyway? Funny thing... when I was growing up (back in the dark ages of course), Mom would always answer my spelling queries with "Go look it up in the dictionary."

I know first-hand how had it is to find a word you're spelling phonetically aloud that's not spelled phonetically in print. I "get it" that homographs are tricky and that spell check won't catch homophones either. And I know if you look, you'll be able to find mistakes in what I've written; so I wouldn't bother taking the time to hunt. It probably wouldn't be much of a hunt. LOL

Besides, I'm not home-schooling so you can't say the pot is calling the kettle black. :-D

/end rant

Of Carts & Horses

A Passion for Thee

Set my heart, O dear Father, On Thee, and Thee only,
Give me a thirst for Thy presence divine.
Lord, keep my focus on loving Thee wholly,
Purge me from earth; Turn my heart after Thine.

A passion for Thee; O Lord, set a fire in my soul, and a thirst for my God.
Hear Thou my prayer, Lord, Thy power impart.
Not just to serve, but to love Thee with all of my heart.

Father fill with Thy Spirit, and fit me for service,
Let love for Christ ev'ry motive inspire,
Teach me to follow in selfless submission,
Be Thou my joy and my soul's one desire.

A passion for Thee; O Lord, set a fire in my soul, and a thirst for my God.
Hear Thou my prayer, Lord, Thy power impart.
Not just to serve, but to love Thee with all of my heart.

~Joe Zichterman



Ever think about the words of "A Passion for Thee" above? "Hear now my prayer, Lord, thy power impart... not just to serve, but to love thee with all of my heart" Isn't that cart-before-the-horse backwards?? Shouldn't our service come second, born out of our love for Him??

I know the song is about our passion (love?) for Him, but today (when the little voices in my head sing it) it winds up sounding like "Hey Lord, my service for you is A-OK, but I prolly ought to love you more. Will ya help me with that check-mark??" I'd love to ask Joe Z... especially since he's "out" of "Fundy-ism" now.... I really like most all of the songs that I know he's written, and I've always liked this song especially. But since it was played for the offertory this morning, it's been running through my head... Then the words started sinking in & I started wondering. Things that make you go "Hmmmmmm........ " ;-)

Praying for a heart of love... all the while assuming that I already have a heart bent toward service? What's with that?? To me it seems wrong-headed Scripturally. But given what I know of Joe (he has his head on pretty straight), it behooves me to assume JZ was trying to point out this weak area in the camp not ingrain it more.

1 Corinthians 13 makes much of love/charity being the primary thing--the motivation from which our actions should spring. If the greatest command is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and the second is like unto it--to love our neighbors as ourselves (i.e. service); wouldn't that imply that our service ought to be borne out of our love for God, rather than serving (first?) while we're praying to love Him more?

Not that there's any harm in praying for a deeper love for the Lord and a closer relationship with Him.... I suspect my hang-up is just semantics. :-D Or maybe it's hyper-sensitivity to anything about what I should be "doing" as a believer. When you've been indoctrinated by a definition of grace that includes what I do (grace is God's enabling power and desire to do His will), you start developing jerky knees.

If justification is all God's work & glorification is all God's work, why can't sanctification be (more about) God's work too???

Before the Throne

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
A great High Priest whose name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me

Behold Him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness
The great unchangeable I AM
The King of Glory and of Grace
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God

"Before the Throne", lyrics by Charitie Less Bancroft, alt. lyrics and music by Vikki Cook.

© 1997 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP).

A response to "Wretched Urgency"

Dear M:

Your web journal titled "Wretched Urgency" highlights similar struggles in my Christian walk although our circumstances are quite different... Your sub-title, "The Grace of God or Hamsters on a Wheel?", raises the primary issue. I am not referring to the question, itself, although it is quite humorous, but rather to the first four words -- the grace of God. Defining, recognizing the extent of, and understanding God's grace seems to have been and continues to be the greatest schism in Christianity. This issue is at the heart of both your and my struggles and, I expect, many others' besides. As you have well described, it is severely complicated by other factors such as guilt, loyalty, and tradition. However, God graciously blessed us with His word.

Gen 6:7-9 And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD. These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.

How many times have I read a children's book, heard a gospel song, or listened to a preacher or Sunday school teacher expounding on this passage and its surrounding events? Invariably, the story is related that because Noah was "just" and "perfect," he "found grace in the eyes of the LORD." Hello! Are we reading the same scriptures?

First, God declared that He would utterly annihilate all humanity and terrestrial fauna. As a member of humanity, Noah is included under this condemnation and the earlier verses describing humanity's (and Noah's) continual evil thoughts.

Second, Noah finds "grace in the eyes of the LORD." The Hebrew word here translated "grace" is chen, which is a derivative of chanan. Strong's defines chanan as "to bend or stoop in kindness to an inferior, to favor, or to bestow." The same Hebrew word is translated as "favour" in Esther 5:2, which passage is also an illustrative depiction of this word.

Third, Noah is "just," "perfect," and -- perhaps more to the point -- walking "with God." Thus rather than Noah finding "grace in the eyes of the LORD" because he was "just" and "perfect," the scriptures teach exactly the opposite.

Time does not permit reviewing the many other examples of God's grace in the lives of men recorded in the Old and New Testaments. However, if you examine other individual cases, then I believe that you will find that Noah is a representative sample of a vast mountain of examples such as Moses, Gideon, and David. The New Testament is also rife with examples of God's grace, but it is even more helpful -- in my opinion -- by addressing the very nature of God's grace. Perhaps the most relevant passages to "Wretched Urgency" are the following:

Rom 4:2-8 For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God. For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works, Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin.

Rom 11:5-6 Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace. And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then is it no more grace: otherwise work is no more work.

In addition to the above verses, practically the entire book of Galatians and many other New Testament scriptures provide specific doctrine regarding God's grace. However, the point is clear even just from the above passages in Romans that grace and works are mutually exclusive. The failure to recognize this truth has produced more error and heresy in the church's history than any other single doctrine. Apparently, false teachings arose about this matter virtually from the church's inception because the Apostle Paul did not mince words on the subject.

Gal 1:6-9 I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel: Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ. But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.

Gal 2:21 I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.

Gal 5:1-4 Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing. For I testify again to every man that is circumcised, that he is a debtor to do the whole law. Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.

Gal 3:1-3 O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you? This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?

Of course, any fundamentalist worth his salt will immediately object that he is not teaching folks to be circumcised, keep the Old Testament law, or work for their salvation. Of course, there are the nut jobs who do teach circumcision as some sort of spiritual blessing in direct and explicit contradiction to the scriptures: "For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love." -- Gal 5:6. But I concede the point that by in large fundamentalists are not instructing their congregations to be circumcised. Once again, there are radicals who teach that one should keep elements of the Old Testament law such as dietary regimens, but on the whole fundamentalists are not boarding ships to relocate to the Holy Land.

However, they are doing something much more insidious: they are making their own law to follow, which you outlined very well. Be politically conservative, don't drink alcohol, don't smoke tobacco, don't go to movie theaters, ladies wear modest skirts or dresses, gentlemen wear short hair with no facial-hair, go to church whenever the doors are open, have family devotions, have personal devotions, engage in a ministry such as visitation, don't listen to modern music, don't let your children attend public school, separate from all evil influences; and if there be any question of what is acceptable, please refer to Americans of the 1950s.

Which brings me to the last and most pertinent objection: fundamentalists say that they are not teaching a works-based salvation. No; they are teaching a works-based sanctification. To which I respond, what is the difference? Don't get me wrong, I remember studying soteriology in college, too. It is arguably useful to study salvation and sanctification as separate topics, but is that how salvation and sanctification work in the real world or are taught in scripture?

John 15:1-5 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

Rom 8:28-30 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

Col 2:6-10 As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: Rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving. Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:

Based on the above passages, two truths are evident. First, God is the only one doing anything in our salvation and sanctification. We are merely bearers of the "fruit" that He grows through us. (Please see Galatians 5:22-23 for a biblical description of Christian fruit.) Second, there is no break in the essence or roles of responsibility between our salvation and sanctification. Romans 8 presents our predestination through our glorification as a seamless act of God. Colossians 2 makes it clear that our Christian walk is just as dependent on Christ as was our salvation, which Ephesians 2:8-9 explicitly declares to be "by grace," "through faith," and "not of works."

I am sure that I have tested your patience with this epistle, so I will bring it to a close. I hope that this information is helpful and encouraging to you. As God patiently revealed it to me despite my fundamentalist paradigm, I found these truths to be greatly liberating and humbling at the same time. To God alone be the glory!

Sincerely,
Paul

Free from the Law...

Am in the middle of a study on the Law. *grins*

Romans 10:4 For Christ [is] the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth.

The words of an old favourite hymn of mine keep rolling through my head...


Free from the law, O happy condition,
Jesus has bled and there is remission,
Cursed by the law and bruised by the fall,
Grace hath redeemed us once for all.

Refrain
Once for all, O sinner, receive it,
Once for all, O brother, believe it;
Cling to the cross, the burden will fall,
Christ hath redeemed us once for all.

Now we are free, there’s no condemnation,
Jesus provides a perfect salvation.
“Come unto Me,” O hear His sweet call,
Come, and He saves us once for all.

“Children of God,” O glorious calling,
Surely His grace will keep us from falling;
Passing from death to life at His call;
Blessèd salvation once for all.


It's a Phillip P. Bliss number :-) Thanks to CyberHymnal for the words.

Character

This from Mikey's Funnies:

today'sTHOT============================

A person's character is like a fence.

It cannot be strengthened by whitewash.

Grins.

Nor can it be weakened by someone else calling it "white-washed." LOL


Nods to the gang at White-Washed Feminists. More grins.

It's all about context... or maybe it's just the blood pressure

Since when do we as believers have the right to wrest a verse out of context, apply it to ourselves because it "means something special to us," AND then go on to tell others how they should apply this out-of-context verse to their lives too because it's meant so much to us, and because there's such a great "scriptural" principle behind it???

Since when?? Since last Wednesday night!! I'm just having a hard time believing I heard it from the pulpit. It's been one thing to recognize it as it's happened over the years, it's another thing entirely to hear the practice excused from the pulpit!

Two Wednesday nights back it was "now you may hear some things tonight that don't sound just right at first. That's one thing. Just don't throw the baby out with the bath water." Well, excuse me, but if the bath water is so dirty that you're in danger of not noticing the baby in said bathwater, is it OK if I question why you're putting the baby in that bath water to begin with??

I don't know what version you're reading, but my Bible still says: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (Eph. 5:25-27) There's just no dirt in *that* water!!



Now, to give context to this rant, you have to know that we've been watching Gothard/IBLP's Financial Freedom seminar (as presented by Jim Sammons) over the past 8 Wednesday nights. So when Pastor was excusing taking Scripture out of context, he was not speaking of himself but of others.

Presenting a sound financial principle as a "good idea" is one thing. Wresting scripture from context to support your point is quite another, or at least it was in the hermeneutics classes I took.

Is today over yet?!

Thankfully the day is past half over. I now have hope of surviving until midnight. After that though, all bets are off! The day began innocently enough....

12:00 AM: I was curled up on our guest bed, chatting with my hubby on the phone about how his day went. (He's 3 or 4 time zones away in a week of training for his new job.) Anyway, we talked til about 1:15 am, said our good-byes and off to sleep I went. Well, sort-of. BD#2 started murmuring in her sleep while we were still of the phone, and by 2am she was into her "Mama, Maama, MAaaaMa, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMA!" routine (which being interpreted is "I woke up and don't want to go back to sleep!") By the time BD#2 was settled down again it was 2:30am. I've got no idea when I actually went to sleep, but it was closer to 3am than I would have liked.

Lest anyone worry that I've just "revealed" that I'm home alone this week with the toddlers, Don't worry. I'm FAR from alone. I have a gun--loaded of course, for what's the point of an unloaded one? I have house guests. From Jersey. Need I say more? I do? OK, they brought a dog along. Fearsome thing. (*Snickers,* as she's really not fearsome in the least; but hey, it is a dog!) AND, last but not least in my secret arsenal of weaponry, I have not one but two toddlers. More on their protective abilities later....)

6:10 AM: I wake up. No idea why. I usually try to sleep til the kids get up, usually around 8am. Sleeping on the guest bed, and having house guests has kinda put a crimp in that. But still, normally I can go back to sleep for at least another hour. Not so today. SO, besides being up late, I'm now awake early. Pregnant women should NOT burn the candle on both ends. No really, they shouldn't.

7:05 AM: After laying in bed staring at the clock for almost an hour, I concede that sleep is futile and drag my ever-cheerful self out of bed. Since I'm up early enough, I decide to make a pot of grits for the house guests before they go off for their day's activities. Managed not to scald the milk the grits were cooking in, so they tasted half-decent. Yeah for that!

7:50 AM: Head for the computer desk to "get stuff done" before the baby dragons wake up. Praise be they slept most of the way til 8:30, so I did get a little bit done in peace and quiet.

9:00 AM: Plunk left-over oatmeal with raisins in front of BD#1 (he requested it), and left-over grits in front of BD#2. She didn't ask for them, but she likes them all the same. Since they are proficient self-feeders (at least of things that will stick to a spoon), I left them in their respective chairs to eat while I got more done on the computer. Checked on them about every 5 minutes. They were eating fine....

9:30 AM: Noticed increasing sounds of giggles and weird slurping sound coming from BD#2... Decided while I checked on her, I should find my usually-ever-present water bottle. Can you guess what happens next?? BD#1 was busily squirting my water around the table, the floor, both kids' cereal bowls, BD#2's tray.... she was splashing in the water as hard as she could, then sucking it off her fingers. Don't ask why--she had her own water bottle *right there.*

10:30 AM: Guest dog leaves a puddle on the rug in the middle of the living room.... Fortunately I saw that one in progress & got it soaked back up post haste.

11:00 AM: Go outside to feed and water the "kittens." Come back in to do stuff in the kitchen while they eat. Don't get between an animal and it's food.

11:30 AM: Go back outside to love on the kitties now that they've eaten a bit. Make the kids stay inside, ostensibly to entertain the fearsome guest dog, but really so I have a chance to pet the kittens. Toddlers and kittens do NOT mix. Kittens know this and quickly disappear when toddlers appear.

11:45 AM: Happen to notice that I'm locked out by BD#1. (Not to worry, I ALWAYS back away from the door and grab keys before going outside. He's perfectly capable of locking and unlocking the glass door, but he also wanders off and might not bother to come back and let me in. LOL)

12:00 PM: Ah, bliss. The day is technically half over. Let myself back in the house and hear BD#1 telling me that BD#2 is "on da phone." That'd be the one I wired to the guest room this week so I can talk to hubby at night. I pick up the kitchen phone and tell kids to get off phone. "Why?" and in just that whiny tone, LOL. Kids do hang up phone, but it sounds like someone is still on the phone. Being the curious person that I am, I say "Hello?" This is ______ County 911. Are you all right? "You've GOT to be kidding me!" No Ma'am, this is 911. Are you OK? "Yes, we're fine, (thinking: but the 3 year old won't be in a minute), sorry to bother you." Are you sure everything is all right? "Yes, Ma'am. I was outside petting the cat, and my kids got into the phone. I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but yes, we're fine." OK, we just needed to stay on the line and check. Thank you! *911 operator hangs up* I think to myself I hope they don't already have an officer in transit... Nah, surely they don't. Or if they did, she'd tell him to "never mind," right?

12:05 PM: Reprogram the "emergency" buttons on that phone to call "*" rather than "911"!!! Give kids a lecture about NOT playing with the phone. *shrugs* No point in "punishing" them in any fashion. They play with the phones in our house all the time. They just don't usually have access to that one, and I had completely forgotten that at least one of the buttons on it was pre-programmed to dial 911. That's my bad, not theirs! None of the other phones have instant access pre-programming like that.

12:30 PM: Weird odors emanating from diapers. Fix that. (See, I can spare *some* details! ;-) ) Hear heavy pounding on front door. You guess it, _______ County sheriff officer. Nice young guy. Sympathetic to the plight of a mom. Told BD#1 "it's OK buddy!" Flashed his lights and blipped his siren on the way out--to the delight of BD#1 who totally did not associate the phone incident with the nice man in the uniform (which is a good thing--don't need a repeat of that!!)

2:00 PM: While walking dog, head weird clicking sound in grass. Last time I heard a weird clicking sound like that, there was a click beetle involved. This time it was a yellow jacket chewing on a dragon fly wing. I . kid . you . not. Guess the chitin in the dragon fly wing crackles when it gets chewed on. Wasn't going to try it myself to find out though. ;-)

.......

Fortunately the day wound down from there... went to prayer meeting, told on the kids & the 911 incident. It's always fun to see people's reactions when you say (in response to the usual "so how was your day?"), "Well, we had cops out to the house...." O.O Today I joined the ranks of the criminal element without even trying.

It's a good day that ends well... but this day was good just because it ended. LOL

Blood Pressure

Confession time. I am OCD--no, I don't really *have* OCD, although my hubby *does* say I'm persnickety, LOL.

I have been on a quest. I've been listening to old sermons download-able from our church's website, trying to find the time when Pastor said, "We've been saying around here for years that 'grace is God's enabling power to do His will'."

Why I'm looking for that particular quote has to do with
1. proving it was said to begin with; or, in other words,
2. convincing myself that I'm not insane/hearing voices during church, and,
3. someday, hopefully refuting the claim that we as a local church body have "been saying this for years."

I've finally found it!!! Only 11 minutes into the 19th sermon I've listened to while reading everybody else's blogs about church & grace & raising kids & white-washed feminism (all inside this past week), I've finally found it! Eureka!!

And I'm not above owning when I'm wrong. The original grace quote in question was made about a year before the "we've been saying this for years" claim. So, the claim is only wrong by the hyperbolic addition of an "s." But I'm still annoyed. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and call me OCD again. ;-)


What all this has to do with blood pressure requires an even less linear thought train. *grins* I've been wondering why that particular sermon has stuck out in my mind so distinctly. And now, having found the offending quote and noted it's time-stamp, I have a theory. *bigger grin*

See, I was pregnant with BD #2 when the claim was made. That pregnancy was a time of great searching for me. Searching for a biblical definition of grace--especially as it relates to how we parent our children. It was during that pregnancy that the Lord began showing me just how much my theology affects my parenting. Our orthodoxy *should* inform our orthopraxy, right? But what if my theological framework is wrong? Wrong about grace? Wrong about depravity? Wrong about our precious children? I'm *still* wrestling through Scripture with these questions.

Still wrestling. Now? More forcefully. I theorize that this quest for quotes is triggered by my blood pressure. No, really! Yanno how certain smells will trigger memories long forgotten? For me, it's that rise in maternal blood pressure during pregnancy. I'm pregnant again, ergo higher blood pressure, triggering convoluted ramblings about grace and parenting. Makes sense to me! ;-)

Or maybe it's just coming to grips with another little baby dragon on the way... knowing that my selfishness will be challenged once again. Being reminded that my theology really does impact my parenting... and the sooner I come to a more clear understanding of a truly *Biblical* definition of grace, the better off my sweet babies will be. All 3 of them.


***Update 7/14/08***

Well, BD#1 has been enjoying watching the "movie of mommy and daddy" this week, a.k.a. our wedding video. There it was!! Not 5 minutes into Pastor's salvation message /address to the family and friends gathered for our wedding (before the wedding party came in): "Grace is God's enabling power to accomplish what He asks of us." .......I can't believe it hasn't jumped out at me before. I'm speechless. I'm still wrong. He *has* been saying that for years. Now why didn't I notice before '05 (when we've been in this church since '95)???

OK, now I'm speechless.

Sola...

So the Husband is teaching the teen Sunday school class for a few weeks, and has been working his way through the "5 Solas." As his wife, I get to sit in. Good stuff. He's reviewing the basics of his lessons [on his now deleted blog] once he's taught them for class. You should go read them.

Sola Scriptura
Sola Fide
Sola Gracia

Sola Gracia is the big sticking point in Fundamentalism, isn't it? We say we're saved by grace through faith, but we sure don't preach sanctification by grace through faith. Nope, sanctification is by works, don't'cha know?? *rolls eyes*

~~~~~
In retrospect [speaking from my perspective in 2012], this Sunday School series my husband presented was the touchstone for his journey out of our local church. There had always been annoyances in Fundamentalism, those "minor" things that were made into "major" things, but the study that went into this series highlighted doctrinal things that we differed on. Emphases rather than substance perhaps, but differences nonetheless. As the years progressed, it became more apparent just how foundational those differences were.

Beginning to Articulate Questions

(Originally written to a dear Pastor friend)

Two or three topics just keep coming up... in my mind they can be connected: grace, child-rearing, and sanctification.  My questions about grace as it impacts child-rearing are pretty well summed up here.  Then there's the questions about grace as it relates to Gothard's definition now being preached at our church. *sigh*  Pastor was lamenting from the pulpit a month ago how he feels that we (the congregation) have an overly negative view of God... He wondered why so many in the congregation *know* God loves them, but are convinced He doesn't *like* them.  How else do you expect people to view God when you're constantly preaching about all we have to *do* to be good Christians (that has the side benefit of making God pleased with us)?  We need to read more & pray more & make sure our standards are Biblical ones (read: last generations') & & &.... and then he wonders why the congregation feels like God doesn't like them? How are you supposed to be convinced someone likes you if you always have to be doing more to make them happy?? 

Granted, I'm being overly simplistic in my presentation, and only pointing out those things which support my disgruntledness (which is hardly fair)..... it just seems logical to me that his accurate view (of the congregations' negative perception of God) is a DIRECT result of his regular preaching.  He focuses so much on how we're not separated enough, not holy enough... If his preaching is basically saying "you have to hitch up your skirt & try harder," well, then no wonder the people think God doesn't like them very much!!!  I just don't think he gets the (possible) correlation between his "do more" preaching and the people's view of God.  Then, I say it's because he's been preaching Gothard's definition of grace--you only get grace if you work hard enough for it, and humble yourself enough to receive it.  Where is the imputation of Christ's righteousness??  Is it (Christ's righteousness) really just for our "fire insurance" in eternity?? What about this life?  We (at church) are adamant that salvation is only by faith in Christ, but Pastor sure can do a good job of making it sound like our sanctification is works-based. I doubt he means to, but it's tiring..... Frankly, I want out. (We've been here since '95.)

The more we read and study and the more of our friends jump this legalistic work-harder ship for Reformed-leaning circles, the more attractive Reformed theology looks. OK, so I'll admit to not having read the WCF, but the Five Solas sound solid enough... What drove me to contact you in the beginning was Rebecca's "Fall to Grace" series, and realizing that your law/grace study had (been used to) drug her out of Reformed theology kicking and screaming. Currently I'm kicking and screaming to get out of this Independent Fundamental Dispensational Gothardesque Bible church and into Reformed circles (which at least *seem*  to understand grace better than Gothard!!)... so if we can't go into Reformed theology, where can we go???

DH and I are realizing that we will probably wind up leaving our church, we just don't know when or how, or where to go instead. In some ways, we'd rather they kick us out--BUT we don't want it to be our divisiveness that has caused them to do so (if that makes sense).   I suppose we ought to sit down and talk to Pastor, but we don't know how or when to do it or what to say. What we do know is that we need to be able to articulate what we feel the differences are between what we're coming to believe the Scriptures teach and what is regularly taught from the pulpit--esp. about grace and sanctification. We don't see ourselves still at this church in three years, but neither do we really see ourselves leaving inside the next year either.  We are in agreement that until we *are* sure of what we're supposed to do/how to handle the situation, we aren't going anywhere.  We just can't find Biblical defense for leaving this local body if we can't even properly articulate what's wrong/why we want to leave where we are.  Then if we can be articulate, we still have to deal with the question of staying to try to help balance the boat, so to speak................ Eh, we don't know. So, yes, prayers are appreciated!!!  (And any thoughts/advice/things to study you want to toss out there for us would be greatly appreciated.) 

Welcome!

So, Lord willing, as I have extra time on my hands (bwhahahaha) I'll be dragging over old posts from my Xanga and archiving them here. For posts with especially relevant comments, I plan to bring the comments along as well. Of course when the muse bites, I might actually write something new.

***Update***
As of 10/20/08 I'm finally done dragging over all the posts from my old Xanga--at least the ones that I'm interested in making public! Naturally I've got a couple of posts in the queue (scribbled on scraps of paper when I wake up with my brain racing at ungodly hours of the night). I 'spose I'll get them up before too long. Best to get them up before Baby Dragon #3 makes their arrival or I'll never get caught up. Trouble is, once I've written the rattling thoughts down they don't bug me any more & the urgency is all gone. It's hard to work that urgency up again--especially with a baby poking it's foot in my diaphragm. LOL Anyway... enough rambling. My blogging history is finally al up in one spot. Have at it!! And "Welcome again!!!" :-)

Jinnie -- to them that love God

If not Jinnie's life verse, then certainly the one that themed her time with the tumor... Romans 8:28: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose."

How many times have we read that verse, heard it tossed into a conversation with a struggling friend, been beaten over the head with it... and wondered do all things really work together for good? To those that are called by Him, the answer is simply "Yes."

I said to Hubby on the way home from her funeral this afternoon, it must be a rare privilege for a pastor to preach the funeral of one whose life was really dedicated to Christ. The genuine article--all week, not just on Sunday morning. Faith unfeigned. Evidential love for the Lord in her daily walk at work, at home, at church. You couldn't spend any appreciable amount of time with her without knowing her relationship with the Lord was the one she cherished above all others. Trust me. I worked with her for almost 5 years, 5 days a week. In an office full of women. :-D Calm, steady, unflappable, never *ever* in a hurry (even sometimes when you wanted her to be ;-) ). Always ready with a smile, a wink, "how ya doing?", a hug. Conscientious worker, steady friend.

She had worked there 12 years before the Lord took her. She worked full-time all the way through the second round of chemo/radiation--daily doses that *had* to have been exhausting. But still she went to work, smiling. Seriously, the joy of the Lord was her strength. There is no way there was any of her own strength left. No way. But, see, it never was about her. From the very first e-mail announcing her tumor, all she wanted was for this to be used by Him and for Him.

August 31, '07 (I have a tumor) ~ My Lord knows just what He's up to........and what He wants. I just need to rest in His loving care!

Sept.1 (re: the tumor's discovery) ~ It was the Lord's perfect revealing time.........He is a faithful, loving Father!! ... Our Lord is so good!

Sept. 17 (the day she got her results-aggressive tumor, stage IV) ~ We just need to pray that the Lord will have His way- He can choose to heal, or choose not to..........my focus is going to be on those I begin coming in contact with. That's where He wants me next. We need to keep His purposes in our prayers! My desire is to keep following each path- and be able to give Him glory as I travel along. I thank you for praying with me!

Sept. 21 (a schedule for treatment)~ There are so many of you praying! I'm so thankful for your prayers and the Lord's grace and direction- He is good! ... The Lord has opened this door, and I am following His direction as each day goes by. Any healing is as safely in the Lord's hands as it ever has been- He will give just what He has planned! I've been so thankful to see witnessing opportunities arise already in this situation. I know that's the Lord's purpose for where I am, and I'm praying that I will faithfully witness for Him through each step. Thank you all for your faithful prayers- our Lord will as faithfully answer!

Sept. 25 (major change in treatment plan) ~ The Lord has faithfully directed to this path rather than... I just need to be where the Lord wants me! I'm so thankful for the Lord's direction- and His wonderful plan!

Oct. 4 (radiation mask ready) ~ Thank you all for your continued prayers! The Lord provides so faithfully!

Oct. 11 (radiation mask needed re-doing to protect optic nerves, which of course meant rescheduling everything) ~ Our Lord is in control of each detail- time and treatment! He's a wonderful Lord! I thank you all for your continued prayers! He hears and answers according to His wonderful plan!

Oct. 18 (new mask ready) ~ I know its the Lord's provision- and His timing! He's so faithful every day! I thank you again for your continued prayers! He's continuing to hear and answer!

Oct. 25 (re: the start date for treatment) ~ Most of all, the Lord knows when the beginning needs to be- and He will bring it to pass! I am thankful for your faithful prayers as the Lord continues to answer!

Oct. 29 (first treatment day) ~ Thank you for your prayers! The Lord is providing - as He faithfully does! I'm thankful for your prayers to our wonderful Lord!

Dec. 10 (at the end of radiation) ~ I'm thankful for those that I've met during this treatment time, and the things I've had opportunity to share with them. We can pray that the Lord will continue His work there! He is a faithful Lord! Again, thank you for your prayers to our wonderful Lord!

Jan. 5, '08 (a personal note re: hubby's impending job hunt) ~ I'm praying the Lord will direct you in this- He has a purpose for His plan! We can trust Him to lead!

Jan. 12 (after an MRI showed the tumor was growing after radiation) ~ I'm thankful that we don't need to know the "results"- they're in the Lord's hands from the beginning! I'm just praying that I'll keep my focus on the right things, and take the opportunities the Lord sends my way. His ways are always perfect! Again, thank you for your all your prayers and encouragement!

Feb. 5 (getting 2nd round of stronger chemo) ~ I'm thankful that the Lord already knows- they're in His hands from the beginning! I'm just praying that I'll keep my focus on the right things- the Lord Himself. He's our wonderful Lord! Again, thank you for your all your prayers and encouragement!

Feb 21 ~ Hi Ladies, Its so good to see the Lord at work each week! I thank you so much for your prayers! I was able to write the text for a testimony (to make into a tract) this week. Its already been able to be used - to people who don't even know who I am =). That's what's wonderful about seeing the Lord at work! I know your faithful prayers are one of the things that the Lord uses to spread His name! I've attached the text (I posted it yesterday)- pray that it will continue to be used! Love, Jinnie

Feb. 28 (on the possibility of another study/treatment at MUSC) ~ I'm thankful that the Lord already knows! I thank you all for your faithful prayers! The Lord provides in so many wonderful ways!

Mar. 7 (she was accepted into that study program) ~ Another little step in the process, I do want to thank all of you for your faithful prayers! ... We can pray together that the Lord's plans will be the focus! We serve a wonderful Lord!

Mar. 8 ~ the Lord will do as He sees fit =).

Mar. 13 (on a date being set for beginning screening at MUSC) ~ Its so good to follow the Lord's steps- just as He lays them out! His care is wonderful! Thank you all for your faithful prayers!

Mar. 18 (screening delayed) ~ We know this is the Lord's path- His care is always right! He's so good- all the time!

Mar. 21 (new screening date) ~ The Lord is setting up His time for us to see! We have our Lord's wonderful death and resurrection to celebrate this Sunday- all that He has done for us!

-----------------

Y'all see a pattern here?? Susan, another of our co-workers, read this old hymn-text at the end of her eulogy. I about lost it, but this really does sum up Jinnie's attitude.


Not I, But Christ

Not I but Christ be honored, loved, exalted;
Not I but Christ be seen, be known, be heard;
Not I but Christ in ev'ry look and action;
Not I but Christ in ev'ry tho't and word.

Not I but Christ to gently soothe in sorrow;
Not I but Christ to wipe the falling tear;
Not I but Christ to lift the heavy burden;
Not I but Christ to hush away all fear.

Christ, only Christ, ere long will fill my vision;
Glory excelling soon, full soon I'll see—
Christ, only Christ my ev'ry wish fulfilling—
Christ, only Christ my all in all to be.

Refrain:
Oh, to be saved from myself, dear Lord!
Oh, to be lost in Thee!
Oh, that it may be no more I, dear Lord,
but Christ that lives in me.

~A. A. Whiddington, 19th Century


As Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 7:1-4,
A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.