ST vs BT & children

In relation to both the Vipers in Diapers, and Is God Love? posts (and tangentially Ezzo pt 1&2)... I'm wondering....

Where ST is systematic theology (looking at everything the Scriptures have to say on a particular topic) and where BT is biblical theology (looking more at the over-arching themes and framework of Scripture)...

Are we so hung up on our ST of "man born as a sinner" that we miss the bigger over-arching BT of man created in God's image, children called blessings, and little ones *never* denigrated in Scriptures? Is our emphasis not wrong? When in fact God uses the pictures of a woman nursing a child to describe His love for Israel (Can a woman forget her suckling child?--By implication NO, Of course not! Don't be silly!!).

Yes, we are born with a sinful nature, but to make that the focus of our "relationship" with our infants and toddlers..... speaks more to our need for control and self-vindication than it does to our children's need of a Savior.

Hence the growing interest in Reformed theology.. or at least in a more covenantal view of family/children. Thinking... and getting more disturbed with the teaching of some popular "godly parenting" gurus out there.
*coughs* Ezzo *coughs*

Is God love?

Really??

Does the "love chapter" of 1 Cor 13 apply to God? If He is love (and He is), can't these characteristics of love described there also be applied to God?? He is patient, kind, long-suffering, keeps no account of wrongs.... keeps no account of wrongs. When I come to Him today, confessing that same old sin that I confessed yesterday, does He really say "What sin?" In the words of that song "What sin? What sin? Well that's as far away as the east is from the west. What sin? What sin? It was gone the very minute you confessed, buried in the sea of forgetfulness..."

If God loves us (and He does) and if He doesn't hold our sins against us (and He doesn't), then why do we hold on so tightly to those little annoying "sins against us" that our kids do? Why do we keep score? If God doesn't keep a record of our wrongs (and He doesn't), who are we to hold our children to a standard that God doesn't hold us to?? Why do we insist on instant obedience through fear of reprisals? Perfect love casts out fear... or so 1 John 4:18 says.

Good reading

In the process of avoiding answering an e-mail that's fast becoming an elephant in the corner (with our associate pastor about grace & it's definition), I've come across several really good and timely blog posts. Enjoy!! :-)

KatieKind with a reprint on parenting
TulipGirl with a quote on resting
Camille on Sola Gracia
and Wendy with more thoughts on grace


There's a not-so-subtle theme linking these....... LOL.

The Irony of Ezzo and AP, Part 2

While we were expecting BD#2, I ran across EzzoInfo online. The volume and diversity of information on that website was simply overwhelming. Read a bit, rolled my eyes. [How could a parent be so lacking in common sense as to follow Ezzo's suggestions for feeding schedule so rigidly that they wound up with a baby failing to thrive? How?!?!]

Read some more, more eye rolls. [These horror stories of Ezzo parents gone overboard must have been what BD#1's nurse was thinking of when she strongly suggested we NOT try to schedule-feed our newborn. Never mind that he was less than two days old--I wasn't trying to schedule anything that early--Honest!! She must've known (knowing our educational and theological background as she did) that Ezzo would have been on our radar so she attempted a preemptive strike.]

The irony that I found EzzoInfo while looking for the source of an aberrant definition of *grace* is just HUGE to me now; but when I first found EzzoInfo I was mentally consumed with the grace question, so I didn't give the Ezzo issue much thought beyond a couple nights worth of heavy reading. But I tucked away a few questions, and they kept coming up for air. You know how it is when you're pregnant... you get insomnia, your mind wanders, you wonder about things.

So when BD#2 came along and *shock and horrors* did NOT want to sleep by herself, I was at least primed to consider other (non-Ezzo approved) options. :-D Nothing so radical as becoming a full-fledged AP mom mind you ;-) but... more nights than not she fell asleep next to me in bed. She simply would NOT fall asleep by herself. And you know what?? It wasn't that big of a deal. I quickly figured out the only way to get her to go to sleep and stay asleep was to bring her to bed with me for the first part of her night. That way she fell asleep happy that she had her momma, and *we* were happy that she was sleeping (and yes, therefore quiet so we could sleep too, LOL). "Co-sleeping" worked. Definitely not in line with Babywise mandates but we . were . getting . sleep . ALL of us!! :-) Once she was soundly sleeping, I could easily move her to that dreaded bassinet where she slept just fine until time to eat again. No need to keep her in bed with us all night--just til she was asleep. And I thought to myself--is this what Ezzo was railing against?? This???

And so my questions about Ezzo's ideals grew. See, one of the other things I'd read about Ezzo and his child-rearing methodology was how it sets parents up for an adversarial relationship with their young children. [What if the baby doesn't want to go to sleep my herself? Make her do it anyway! Don't parent on emotion and instinct!!] Um... yeah! Add to that the basic selfishness of putting my needs above those of my newborn. Ezzo teaches that the relationship between mom and dad is the most important one, so the children must not be allowed to interfere with it. Good idea in principle. How to play that out in practical terms with a helpless newborn in arms is another story. :-)

Yes, they are helpless. Yes, they do have needs. No, their crying is NOT a form of "manipulation." They're trying to communicate their needs to you. (And if you had half an ounce of common sense you'd realize that denying the baby's need (for comfort) is a really really baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.)

So Ezzo's BabyWise didn't come off the bookshelf after BD#2's arrival... [well, maybe to check a couple of things from EzzoInfo--make sure they weren't misrepresenting what they said about his "methods"--(they weren't).] And I have to say, I think those early weeks of our relationship with BD#2 were the better for it.

To be continued...



But first, once again, here are a few links from others if you're interested in more information on Ezzo...

From the horses mouth:
Growing Kids God's Way
EzzoTruth

From those who jumped off the wagon:
Jenn's story
TulipGirl's files
ChewyMom's files
KatieKind's files
Camille's adventures becoming an attachment mom and her research on Ezzo.

Deconstructing the wagon:
AwareParent
EzzoInfo
MommyLife

Music for the soul

Had the privilege of hearing Chanticleer again Thursday night at The Porter Center of Brevard College. Nice foggy trip over the mountains to get there... kinda like that 13 mile stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway the night before our wedding, LOL.

Their program this time was titled Wondrous Free and (understatement alert) "demonstrates the diversity of song in America." Though most of the pieces in the program were in English, spanning several hundred years brought in quite a range of styles--from spirituals and fuging tunes to madrigals by P.D.Q. Bach. Most interesting modern piece was The Homecoming, a poem written by John Stirling Walker in 2003 and set to music by David Conte. Haunting, though-provoking... Program notes can be found on-line here and include the text of The Homecoming.

For those of you who haven't heard Chanticleer before, following is their rendition of Shenandoah. This video doesn't do hold a candle to hearing it live, front -n- center in the third row as we did Thursday night, but it'll have to do. ;-)



Chanticleer is currently on a brief tour up and down the Eastern seaboard. If you're anywhere near New Canaan CT, Richmond VA, Morrow GA, Huntsville AL..... Get tickets and GO HEAR THEM!!!

From their most recent CD...



Absolutely incredible. Breath-taking live. Especially from the third row. Did I mention that we were dead-center in the 3rd row?? :-D I really need to track down the gal from the Porter Center's box office & hug her.

I am a happy woman. Nothing like beautiful music performed with excellence to lift the spirits!!

Of Copperheads, Crayfish, and Creosote

Yeah, it was an interesting day!! :-)

Copperheads:
The cat brought us a small (freshly-killed) snake with "suspicious" markings. It looks like the same kind of snake we had around last fall that my neighbor said was a baby copperhead, so I've done some research (gotta love the Internet)! It's actually a brown snake. Non-poisonous. Yeah for that!!

In the midst of researching what kind of snake we had, found out juvenile copperheads have bright lemon yellow tails for the first years of their lives--easy to spot & tell-tail (pun intended, sorry!) sign that they're dangerous. This snake is the size of a juvenile copper, but is actually full grown. No snakes in this area bear young so early in the season anyway. Should've known it couldn't have been a juv. copperhead, but now at least I have proof. :-)


Crayfish:
Went down to get the mail today and heard something rustling in the leaves in the ditch. Something red... moving... probably just a big beetle. Hmmm... Having never seen a beetle big enough to make *that* much noise, decided to track the sound. What the...??? It looks like a baby lobster!! OK, so I know there are crayfish native to SC, but I've sure as heck never seen one in the wild! But there it was.

I wish like anything I had had my camera with me, but who carries their camera to the mailbox every day just in case they see a cray-fish?? LOL I'd have gone up to the house, gotten the camera and come back for a picture--if for no other reason than to reassure myself that I wasn't hallucinating--but our mail box is kinda precariously perched on the side of the road above the ditch... and the baby was howling... and the older two were up to no good when I got back to the house, so I have no photographic proof to offer. But I swear... it was a baby lobster, LOL.

And just in case the day wasn't weird enough...


Creosote:
Our neighbors like burning things. Today it was a pyre of creosote soaked railroad ties with kindling of Styrofoam... oh, and a good dousing of lighter fluid for good measure. Glad none of the kids are asthmatic!! Sheesh!

Background:
The neighbors are feuding. Boy and girl grow up across the street from each other. Get married, have kids. Things go sour--really sour. They separate. BUT both sets of in-laws still live across the street from each other. (We live next door to the nice ones.) The other in-laws (kitty-corner across the street from us) are the ones who like to burn things in their yard.... But only on really dry, really windy days. Like "no rain in the forecast for a week and the flag flies straight out" dry and windy days. And only when said wind is blowing toward us (and their son's ex-in-laws) across the street. *Eye roll*

Now in fairness, I wouldn't burn when the wind were blowing toward my house either, and usually they burn a lot closer to their house. (As they're on a couple of cleared acres, it's not like they don't have the room.) But come on! Today's pyre got built right in the corner of their property nearest to the ex-laws. *sigh*

It would be laughable if it didn't smell so bad! ;-) I can't tell you how many days these past 2 summers I've had the lines full of clothes & had to go bring them in lest they smell like burning...whatever the neighbors decide to burn that day. At least the road will make a natural fire-break...