While we were expecting BD#2, I ran across EzzoInfo online. The volume and diversity of information on that website was simply overwhelming. Read a bit, rolled my eyes. [How could a parent be so lacking in common sense as to follow Ezzo's suggestions for feeding schedule so rigidly that they wound up with a baby failing to thrive? How?!?!]
Read some more, more eye rolls. [These horror stories of Ezzo parents gone overboard must have been what BD#1's nurse was thinking of when she strongly suggested we NOT try to schedule-feed our newborn. Never mind that he was less than two days old--I wasn't trying to schedule anything that early--Honest!! She must've known (knowing our educational and theological background as she did) that Ezzo would have been on our radar so she attempted a preemptive strike.]
The irony that I found EzzoInfo while looking for the source of an aberrant definition of *grace* is just HUGE to me now; but when I first found EzzoInfo I was mentally consumed with the grace question, so I didn't give the Ezzo issue much thought beyond a couple nights worth of heavy reading. But I tucked away a few questions, and they kept coming up for air. You know how it is when you're pregnant... you get insomnia, your mind wanders, you wonder about things.
So when BD#2 came along and *shock and horrors* did NOT want to sleep by herself, I was at least primed to consider other (non-Ezzo approved) options. :-D Nothing so radical as becoming a full-fledged AP mom mind you ;-) but... more nights than not she fell asleep next to me in bed. She simply would NOT fall asleep by herself. And you know what?? It wasn't that big of a deal. I quickly figured out the only way to get her to go to sleep and stay asleep was to bring her to bed with me for the first part of her night. That way she fell asleep happy that she had her momma, and *we* were happy that she was sleeping (and yes, therefore quiet so we could sleep too, LOL). "Co-sleeping" worked. Definitely not in line with Babywise mandates but we . were . getting . sleep . ALL of us!! :-) Once she was soundly sleeping, I could easily move her to that dreaded bassinet where she slept just fine until time to eat again. No need to keep her in bed with us all night--just til she was asleep. And I thought to myself--is this what Ezzo was railing against?? This???
And so my questions about Ezzo's ideals grew. See, one of the other things I'd read about Ezzo and his child-rearing methodology was how it sets parents up for an adversarial relationship with their young children. [What if the baby doesn't want to go to sleep my herself? Make her do it anyway! Don't parent on emotion and instinct!!] Um... yeah! Add to that the basic selfishness of putting my needs above those of my newborn. Ezzo teaches that the relationship between mom and dad is the most important one, so the children must not be allowed to interfere with it. Good idea in principle. How to play that out in practical terms with a helpless newborn in arms is another story. :-)
Yes, they are helpless. Yes, they do have needs. No, their crying is NOT a form of "manipulation." They're trying to communicate their needs to you. (And if you had half an ounce of common sense you'd realize that denying the baby's need (for comfort) is a really really baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.)
So Ezzo's BabyWise didn't come off the bookshelf after BD#2's arrival... [well, maybe to check a couple of things from EzzoInfo--make sure they weren't misrepresenting what they said about his "methods"--(they weren't).] And I have to say, I think those early weeks of our relationship with BD#2 were the better for it.
To be continued...
But first, once again, here are a few links from others if you're interested in more information on Ezzo...
From the horses mouth:
Growing Kids God's Way
From those who jumped off the wagon:
Camille's adventures becoming an attachment mom and her research on Ezzo.
Deconstructing the wagon:
3 days ago