Saturday, June 26, 2010

On Gentle Parenting

Through a set of comments on ThatMom's blog, I found this delightful series of posts on BabyDustDiaries relating to "gentle parenting." While I haven't gone and read all of the articles/blogs mentioned, the ones I did read were well worth the time. Go check it out!!! :-)

Monday: What is Gentle Discipline?

Tuesday: False Expectations, Positive Intentions, and Choosing Joy

Wednesday: Choosing Not to Spank

Thursday: Creating a "Yes" Environment

Friday: Terrific Toddlers; Tantrums and All


Lisa said...

Some nice articles, but did you notice the "No spanking" button on the side of one of them? That makes me nervous. I am all for a nurturing and creative envirnment for a child's development and education, etc, but there are times when we need to apply the rod, as per God's Word. As usual, a good read overall, I think, but you have to chew the meat and spit out the bones, and hold everything in the light of the Word of God.

The Savage said...

Oh yes, I noticed. :-D

My bookshelf is chock full of "don't spare the rod" parenting books. As well, our theological circles provide plenty of "spanking as the shall-not-be-left-out parenting tool" resources.

But there are times when moms, particularly moms of littles, need less (potentially) adversarial alternatives. I know there are parents who spank fairly regularly yet maintain apparently loving and strong "heart-string" connections with their children.

Not all believing parents can do that. I think Rebecca Prewett put it well in her article about millstones. We need to be aware of our audience when we dispense advice--of any kind, but particularly parenting advice given to new/young parents, especially when we wrap our advice with the impregnable "thus saith the Lord." (Also one of the reasons Ezzo bugs me so much.)

Strong-willed children are a blessing (I try to remind myself). Personally I think GOYB Parenting is one of the most practical sites for "hands on" advice re: parenting littles that I've found. Lots of recommended books deal only with theory, or all their examples are for dealing "grace-fully" with older kids--those old enough to reason with. Great reading, but not so practical for dealing with the 18mo-4yo crowd. :-)

Long enough. I think there's another blog post or two in the hopper... So for now I'll shush before we lose our beds. ;-)
Love you!!

Lisa said...

Well, I don't know what GOYB parenting ot ezzo is, but I di know whst the Bible says, and see nothing wrong with "thus saith the Lord"vwhen it IS something He said. :)

However.... and here is where most young parents are NOT rightfully advised... spanking, though sometimes necessary, is not the only tool in raising children, as you mentioned, and there needs to be a balance. As parents, we need wisdom. There certainly is not any one thing that will work with all children. Also, not everyone's parenting style is the same. My caution was to just to be sure to hold ANY information up to God's Word, whether it be from a book, a website, or a well meaning SIL who is up WAY past her bedtime. :-*

The Savage said...

What are you doing still up?!?!

I didn't really take offense at your comment ('tho it probably sounds like I did). I just get so weary of the implications (IRL and on the 'Net) that the only "proper and Godly" way to discipline-- especially young children--is to spank early and spank often. Not all of us have the temperaments to follow that advice judiciously... Besides, we're also told not to exasperate our children!! ;-)

Off to bed with both of us!!! See ya soon! (Yeah!!)
Love & hugs in the meanwhile! :-)

Lisa said...

Oh yeah, I understand what you mean! ITA!

Can't wait to see you guys! Woot!