The Savage's Lair

Happy New Year!!

2012-01-01T13:20:00.003-05:00

2012. Wow.

Realized last night that I haven't uploaded any pictures to Snapfish in a year. O.O

Honestly 2011 didn't seem that busy. 4 kids, one husband, one house. No pets, no major projects. Where did all that time go?

Probably will be updating the blog over the next few hours, post-dating to when events actually occurred, or posts were germinated. So if your feed blows up, that's why. I'm finishing posts while the other computer grinds away uploading pictures.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family are playing Axis and Allies. It's a bit advanced for the younger kids, but they're good at rolling dice & deciding which direction they want their troops to move.

Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T10:08:00.004-05:00

Dear Family & Friends,

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.” – Philippians 2:5 – 8

It was because of this truth that at His birth angels rang their voices through the heavens, shepherds left their flocks to see Him, and wise men brought Him gifts from afar. As we remember Him this Christmas, let us come before His throne with renewed senses of wonder and adoration. May we love Him and love one another even more as we ponder on the first and best Christmas miracle – The Savior!

As our family looks back over the past year, we recognize the continued blessings from the Lord. Peter continued to grow during his first year and remains as good natured as ever. Daniel crossed his talking milestone and now adds to our household chatter. Hannah learned to help Melinda cook and me wash dishes as well as be a wonderful big sister. Kenneth learned to read entire children’s books, work addition and subtraction problems including those involving words or negative numbers, and profess his faith in Christ.

Melinda and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary, resumed target shooting after a long hiatus, and began to lead our family on a kind of pilgrimage to find a new local church. It is difficult to have left the congregation we have been a part of for about 16 years, but it has been a blessing to visit the wider body of Christ. We would appreciate your prayers as we continue the search for our new “home” church.

Melinda continues her roles as my wife, mother to our four children, and a wonderful homemaker. In all these things she is a beautiful reflection of God’s love and grace. I continue to enjoy my roles as Melinda’s husband and father to our children. Also, I am enjoying my continued employment with the Dept. of Juvenile Justice. It has been a challenging year of growth while learning my new position, but it has also been rewarding. Also, I have started a side job co-leading family group meetings for troubled youth.

A friend recently asked, “What is freedom?” On the surface it seemed like a question with an easy answer, but the more I thought about it the more I realized just how elusive a definitive answer is. At last John 8:32 came to mind which says, “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Knowing the truth is freedom! May you be blessed this Christmas with knowing the truth of its celebration and receiving the sure gift of freedom. “Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.” – II Corinthians 9:15

Love,

For Mommas

2011-12-02T08:38:00.003-05:00

This is worth reading. And remember, Sally's point was not particular books or personalities. The point was people. Our little people. Those little ones entrusted to us by a God who loves them (and us) and expects us to raise them in His love.

Do Unto Your Children as You Would Have Them Do Unto You

Brother Love

2011-01-06T19:23:00.004-05:00

My favorite pic of BD#3 with his new little brother. :-)

Gentle (Grace-full) Parenting

2011-01-02T20:36:00.009-05:00

Our Toolbox is a great post from Dulce de leche full of "how to" parent gently ideas. Parent gently as in non-combative parenting. *coughs*

Found Dulce's post through a comment she left on another gal's post on the How's of Discipline--another great post with a lot of practical suggestions for mothers of young(er) children who are trying to find alternatives to the more confrontational parenting methods typically espoused in Fundamentalism (and a lot of other -isms too). Great hands-on ideas in the comments on that post too!

If you suspect that I found HH's post through a convoluted series of links, you're right. ;-) That romp of blog-hopping started with a comment on Thatmom's site, who incidentally also has a great post up about nurturing children for the glory of God, also well worth reading.

Karen (Thatmom) gave me a little Greek lesson tonight (I pulled out my interlinear GNT just to check). Hebrews 12:6 (For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth) is frequently trotted out by proponents of "spare the rod, spoil the child" in answer to the objection that perhaps Proverbs regarding spanking are proverbial--not necessarily instructions on how to spank. "See, here's New Testament proof that God condones spanking AND if you don't spank your children you're sinning." (The "you must spank or be in sin" idea comes more from Heb 12:7-8 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. "See? God spanks His kids!")

What Karen pointed out (completely apart from any discussion on spanking), is that the word "chastens" in the Heb. 12 passage is from the same Greek roots (paideuo/paideia) as "nurture" in Ephesians 6:4 (And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.). Kinda puts a different light on some things... especially since paideuo is also translated as teaching/taught/learned/instructing!

The point of parenting is to teach your children. What are your parenting methods teaching your children??

Draft: Merry Christmas 2010

2010-12-25T21:44:00.001-05:00

So this never got polished to the point of sending, but as it was shaping up. . .

He is not merely the Reason for the season, He is the Reason for everything. As Colossians 1:16 succinctly puts it, "For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him."

It is my hope that you will come to realize that you are included. The Lord Jesus Christ created you for Him. But He did not stop there. He became one of us more than two millenia ago at the very first "Christmas". About 33 years later, though sinless and holy, He sacrificed His life's blood to pay in full the sin-debt of those who had, did, and would believe on Him. Then He victoriously rose again from the dead, spent many days with His disciples, and ascended back to Heaven promising to return one day not as the Lamb but as the Lion. My friend, are you ready to face Him who gave His all to save your soul from sin, death, and Hell? He created you to live and fellowship with Him, who loves you more than words can convey. He bridged the gap between our fallen state and Heavenly bliss with the unspeakable gift of His own substitutionary death on the cross.

Of course, "...the gift of God [being] eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Romans 6:23b) is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, God's greatest gift to believers. However, one does not have to wait until the afterlife to begin fellowshipping with Christ and enjoy His blessings. As Romans 8:32 states, "He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?" The Lord's blessings in this life are manifold although sometimes different than what one would expect.

For instance, as I reflect on this year I thank the Lord for the birth of one of my children, a promotion in my career, and a "new" car. However, I also thank the Lord for directing me by not allowing me to purchase additional real estate or send another of my children to private school. How are these latter items blessings? The first may have kept my family and I out of a messy dispute with our neighbors, whom I am glad to say are still our good friends. The second has facilitated my family and I being more involved in our child's education than we would otherwise have been and helped us to avoid a financial burden that may have overly strained our family. I could cite many other examples, but I am sure that you get the point.

I am not saying that I or my life are perfect. What I am saying is that there is a certain assurance in knowing the One who guides it, relying on Him, and developing a deeper relationship with Him. Even "little" things in life take on new meaning when you know the Savior. For example, when my newborn focused on me and cooed to me for the first time I understood a little better why God delights in our praying to Him. When my child asked about Santa Claus, I was challenged by God's honesty and realized how important the truth is. Christ put it best in John 8:31b-32, "...If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

[Baby] Hits Like an Atom Bomb

2010-11-09T16:55:00.006-05:00

Most folks who know me IRL and have spent any length of time at my house know I love listening to Chanticleer. And until this past weekend, if you had asked me my favorite Chanticleer song, I would have said Shenandoah . . . but . . . our new baby changed that.

As my husband and I are long time Chanticleer fans, we had tickets for the November 8th concert at the Brooks Center in Clemson. Row B seats, mind you--front-n-center. Alas, I started having contractions Sunday afternoon. Realizing they weren't going to stop (and) I would have to give up Monday's concert; I consigned myself to listening to Chanticleer on iTunes while labor got kicking into high gear.

Irony? The first Chanticleer song in my iTunes was their "[Jesus] Hits Like an Atom Bomb." The . very . first . song. Less than an hour later, BD#4 was here. So yeah, I have a new favorite Chanticleer song. LOL (But I would rather have been at the concert. Believe me, I'm MUCH more upset at missing Chanticleer than that "her" name is Peter, LOL.)

Happy Birthday!

2010-08-18T15:59:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday to you, Savage!

Parenting toddlers

2010-08-06T08:51:00.003-04:00

Tantrums are as normal in toddlers as crying is in babies.

http://www.whattoexpect.com/blogs/theycallmemommy/toddler-discipline-mamas-bad-behavior

;-)

The Irony of Ezzo and AP, Part 3

2010-07-17T18:57:00.001-04:00

Back when this was originally to have posted, in April of '09 when BD#3 really was just 3 months old, there was a great post/conversation going on at SortaCrunchy. Still worth going to read!! And now, a whole year and 3 months after beginning this series, I'm prompted to finish up by TulipGirl's 7th Annual Ezzo Week 2010. Go, read, learn, share.

To recap my own mini-series, we sorta did BW with BD#1. Mostly ignored BW with BD#2. Now we're 3 months into life with BD#3. BW hasn't been off the shelf in 2 years (other than to fact check for a couple of blog posts). And life with BD#3 is going just fine without BW thankyouverymuch.

~~~~~~~~~~ 15 months later ~~~~~~~~~~

You know what? I've realized some things over the last 5 years (and 3 kids).

Co-Sleeping

Babies LIKE sleeping with their mommas. They've just come from 9 months of CONSTANT contact. D'oh!! Would you want to go from sleeping snuggled up in a hot-tub to sleeping alone in the dark on an only-warm-if-you're-swaddled slab?? Really? You would??? .... /end sarcasm. *sigh* I need to be nice, don't I??

Seriously, it occurred to me (after we had such success part-time co-sleeping with BD#2) that it really is natural for babies to want to sleep with their mommas. If for no other reason than that it's what they've been doing for the last 9+ months. Why would I want to immediately take that away from my newborn?? He's just been through the "trauma" of complete environment change... wet to dry, warm to cold, dark to light, soft to scratchy, quiet -or at least muffled- to noisy.... Why not give him the gift of co-sleeping?? He's not going to be little for long. Soon enough he'll prefer to sleep on his own where he can flail and squirm to his hearts content, why not let him snuggle for now?

This really hit home to me when I realized how BD#3 clearly (strongly) preferred sleeping with me, on his left side, facing me. (Quite conveniently in the middle of our bed where I didn't have to worry about him rolling out of bed.) Hmmm... like a good Bradley mom, I spend most of my pregnant sleeping hours on my left side. So if he were head down in vitro, why... he'd have been sleeping on his left side too--just like he preferred doing after he was born!! Go figure. ;-)

Little revelations like this just floored me. Things I'd never thought to notice before b/c I was concerned with "getting the baby to sleep by his/herself." Made me wonder what else I'd been missing--'cause there's nothing quite like waking up with a baby blissfully sleeping in your arms after you got plenty of restful sleep too!!

Eat-Wake-Sleep??

Then there was BD#3's feeding and napping "schedule." For background, my babies don't really "take off" gaining weight til they hit 9-10 lbs. BD#1 came in at 7# 3oz and BD#2 at 8# even, so they both had a bit of gaining to do before they really started packing on the baby fat rolls... err... pounds. (BD#2 had a *bad* reaction to the RotaTeq vaccine which stalled her weight gain drastically, but that's another post for another day.) But BD#3?? He came in at 9# even, and has gained weight to match his linebacker build ever since.

With BD#'s 1&2 I pretty much did the Ezzo recommended eat-wake-sleep cycle, and the BDs took appropriately lengthy naps... 1 1/2 hours or so each time they went down. Not so Mr. BD#3!! Oh no, he was not having any part of a long nap, or any nap at all. He ate well when he woke up, played heartily and cheerfully, and would consent to being laid down in his crib but... no nap ensued.

Since I was already co-sleeping with him at night and my mid-wives recommend resting when the baby rests, I decided to try laying down with him for his naps. Remember, I wasn't just dealing with a newborn. I had a not-quite 4 yob and a just-turned 2 yog to chase also, so I was needing rest!! ;-) Napping with BD#3 worked for about the first month, at least til I got caught up from my pregnancy insomnia & the older two settled into the routines of life with a newborn.

So I tried putting BD#3 down for naps in his own crib again. He'd go down willingly enough (jolly happy baby that he is), but just would NOT go to sleep. So I thought... hmmm... my kids don't gain well until they hit the weight he came in at. And he's past that weight. Bet he just needs to eat more and more often because he's BIGGER. Logical, right? *grins* So I tried nursing him before his naps (thus eat-wake-eat-sleep), and it worked, sort-of. After nursing he'd fall asleep easily enough, but would wake up peevish around the 45 minute mark every time.

Hmmm... :-/ ... One thing I tend to agree with Ezzo on is that babies need sleep. And I don't call a 45-minute cat-nap "sleep." So... what to do? If I tried nursing BD#3 at the 45-minute minute mark, he'd go right back to sleep without bothering to eat so hunger wasn't an issue. But, when I went to lay him down, he'd wake right back up again apparently peeved that I was so obviously planning to leave him alone for his nap. (Smart kid!) So he wouldn't nap alone, but he needed to nap. Clearly we needed an alternative. And, being the big person in the relationship, I figured it was my job to find the alternative. :-)

He needed day-time sleep. I needed to get my work done. Neither were happening because I abjectly refused to let him "cry it out." Not at bedtime especially, but not for nap-times either. Went there and did that with BD#1. NOT interested in going there again. Why go there at all?? (Barbara Curtis has a *great* post that's applicable here.) BD#3 obviously felt he still needed mommy-time while he slept, why not try to accommodate him? *gasp* So.... enter the sling!!!

Me? A "marsupial mom"??

Hubby and I took the Bradley child-birth classes in preparation for the birth of BD#1. Our class instructor for those 12 weeks was a die-hard AP mom. (And I do mean die-hard!) One of the things she encouraged us to consider purchasing was a sling or wrap of some kind; because we all know while babies like to be cuddled, mommas need their hands free!! Being the impressionable good student that I was, I ordered myself a cool MayaWrap. Yeah, we took the Bradley classes before I read Ezzo's BW. :-D

I don't like my personal space intruded upon, and I'm hot-natured. I struggled with the sling with BD#1. Wound up only using it 2 or 3 times total. Ezzo would have approved. *chuckles* Tried again with BD#2. Managed to use the wrap for about a month, but still not consistently. While I did get a bit more comfortable with the idea of a sling, BD#2 was born in late October and all those layers of clothes got bulky and interfered with utilizing my ring sling properly. So by the time BD#3 came along I was more or less determined to conquer the beast (the sling, not my baby) and get my money's worth out of the sling. After all, I was already planning to junk most of the rest of Ezzo's ideas, and the sling cost more than BW, BW2, and ToddlerWise put together. ;-)

But back to my non-napping BD#3. I figured slinging him was worth a shot. So when nap-time came the next day, I popped him in the sling. He let out this *HUGE* sigh, relaxed, laid his head on my shoulder, and went soundly to sleep. Like "Finally Mommy--this is where I belong, right where I used to be." And he looked like it. Or rather I did--look pregnant all over again with BD#3 all snuggled up in my MayaWrap. And the most incredible thing? He slept for 3 hours. Straight. Day after day. And woke up fully rested, contented. Happy and hungry. :-)

Bottom line?

The real "irony of Ezzo and AP" that I've experienced with BD#3? When I did exactly what Ezzo's BW said not to do (i.e.: all that nasty AP stuff: co-sleep, sling, demand feed), BD#3 did the "BW schedule" to a "T." In other words, I got exactly the "results" that BW claims to produce (easy 3 hour day time schedule & early through-the-night sleeping) by doing precisely the opposite of what Ezzo recommends. Ironic, huh??

And all without charts, scheduling hassles (like having to be *home* for BD#1's bedtime), cry-it-out (a.k.a. heart-break for momma), or early loss of milk supply. Woot!!

Thus ends my mini-series (only 15 months late, LOL).

Once again, here are a few informative links from others that I've compiled over the years, assuming you're interested in more information on Ezzo...

From the horses mouth:
Growing Kids God's Way
EzzoTruth

From those who jumped off the wagon:
Jenn's story
TulipGirl's files and story.
ChewyMom's files
KatieKind's files
Camille's adventures becoming an attachment mom and her research on Ezzo.
Laurie Moody's Case Studies as a GFI lactation contact

Deconstructing the wagon:
AwareParent
EzzoInfo
MommyLife

On the Parenting of Toddlers: Advice from KatieKind

2010-07-17T04:49:00.005-04:00

In clearing out my drafts folder, trying to avoid working on my last "Irony of Ezzo and AP" post that I started last April, I ran across this comment left by KatieKind on an old post from my old blog about grace-based parenting and what it looks like with toddlers. From a mother who's been there and lived to tell about it...

I agree with the commenters above although I think the Shepherding book is too impressed with spanking as a disciplinary tool and I would skip over those parts, especially where he's talking about spanking babies. I don't think parents should ever do that.

I think you already know the answer in your heart, since you have wisely disparaged the mental checklist or one-size-fits-all approach. I know they are incredibly appealing. I remember feeling the exact same way when my older children were toddlers. There's a certain amount of chaos and naughtiness that goes on at those young ages and you wish there was a silver bullet to make them always behave the way they do in their best moments.

I remember being pointed to "How to Really Love Your Child" (Ross Campbell) as a good book on discipline. Taking it home and reading it, I could not see anything helpful in it. I wanted a "But what do you do when..." set of directions. A collection of silver bullets.

Years later I was asked to speak to a church group on Loving Your Children, and I wondered how best to collect my thoughts on that so I reread that book. This time, since my children were grown up or nearly so, I saw the book in a new light. His book distilled the essence of good parenting, and in my opinion, the heart of Christian parenting. It's basically what I would say if someone asked for the most important things I could tell them about parenting.

First comes relationship. All your childrearing happens within the framework of your home's atmosphere and your relationship with your children and husband. So smile at your children when they toddle up to you, make eye contact with them, touch them gently on the shoulder while you're telling them to pick up the blocks. These things build a warm cooperative family environment.

Instead of thinking in terms of "that deserves a punishment," think about the behavior as a sign that the children need to be equipped and taught to make a better decision. If they are whining, show them a better tone of voice. If they are hitting, show them how to negotiate for what they want or take turns.

And then there are the times when the instruction just needs to be enforced calmly, without rancor. You walk in your authority. Say your child doesn't want to leave the nursery when it's time to go home from church. You tell her it's time to go and she acts like she didn't hear you. You did the whole 5 minute notice thing like a good parent and still she won't leave. Well then, you pick her up and leave. You don't need to threaten, you don't need to make a scene, you don't need to give her a mini-lecture. You just be a parent and do what needs to be done. (She's probably a little strung out from being in a small box of a room with 6 children for an hour and a half. Wouldn't you be?)

If the naughtiness is at a particularly high level, think about that behavior as a sign. What's it a sign of? Yes, yes, I know all about sin natures and such. But what's the behavior a sign of? We SIN because our bent is to answer a basic need the wrong way. That's always our tendency. So what's the behavior a wrong answer to? Is the child hungry? Is he tired? Is he over-stimulated? Is he feeling misunderstood or overlooked? Have you been dragging the kids from pillar to post on errands and they really need to get home and back into their own routine and their own environment?

The fact that we are so much older and wiser than our children means we need to put our greater life experience to work on their behalf. If they could simply tell you, "Don't listen to me, I know I'm being irrational about this, I'm totally exhausted and not thinking straight" like a girlfriend would, things would be different. You have to piece that together from the information you can pick up. Of course if your girlfriend said that to you, you wouldn't "not listen to her." You'd calm her down, encourage her to get some sleep, administer chocolate, whatever. You'd "not listen to her" in terms of not reacting to the drama, but you'd continue to be her friend and try and help her. Same with your kids. They can't tell that they are overly hungry or overly tired. They're just striking out in their misery. We have to see that, and fasttrack the root solution--get their blood sugar back up, or get them down for the badly-needed nap, or get them home to their own environment. Do it gently and mercifully, not angrily and punitively. They're just kids.)

In other situations, the parental thing to do is set a boundary and then unemotionally enforce it. "I know you don't like your carseat, honey. Up you go. I know you hate it. Let's get that buckle fastened. Ok. Here's your juice." [Child is feeling uncooperative and inconsolable and bats it away.] "Oh--you don't want your juice? You can tell me with your words. I'll put it away." [Matter-of-factly put the juice cup away. You don't need to be pulled into the drama here. These are just feelings being handled immaturely. Toddlers are, by definition, immature. Now, as you get yourself settled in the car, change the subject, help your child not dwell on what's not negotiable.] "Who will we see at the store? Will we see Mr. Steven there?"

A squall about getting into a dreaded carseat doesn't need to be punished. They outgrow that kind of stuff. You just handle it. Think about all the stuff you hate to do...God doesn't punish us for hating to face that mountain of laundry. But by our ages, we have strategies for getting through it. Young children don't have strategies yet.

So there's some thoughts for you.

And phenomenal thoughts they were too. Thanks again, KatieKind!!! The Lord knew I needed to re-read them this morning. :-)

All ready to go!

2010-07-07T09:51:00.003-04:00

Some 12 hours after getting set up, the backing, batting, and top are all sandwiched and ready for pin-basting.

By the time I got done basting the quilt, re-assembling the church's fellowship hall, and dragging everything back into our house; it was 2 AM this morning. Merely 15.5 hours after first arriving at church.

*Yawn*

On Gentle Parenting

2010-06-26T02:28:00.004-04:00

Through a set of comments on ThatMom's blog, I found this delightful series of posts on BabyDustDiaries relating to "gentle parenting." While I haven't gone and read all of the articles/blogs mentioned, the ones I did read were well worth the time. Go check it out!!! :-)

Monday: What is Gentle Discipline?

Tuesday: False Expectations, Positive Intentions, and Choosing Joy

Wednesday: Choosing Not to Spank

Thursday: Creating a "Yes" Environment

Friday: Terrific Toddlers; Tantrums and All

A Defense of Calvinism

2010-05-22T03:46:00.005-04:00

The Sheep Dog posted an abbreviated version of this document on his blog, predicated only with this verse: The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun." -- Ecclesiastes 1:9 (And the Savage smiles.) In looking for the text he'd used, I found a longer version which I'm posting below.

A Defense of Calvinism
by C. H. Spurgeon

It is a great thing to begin the Christian life by believing good solid doctrine. Some people have received twenty different "gospels" in as many years; how many more they will accept before they get to their journey's end, it would be difficult to predict. I thank God that He early taught me the gospel, and I have been so perfectly satisfied with it, that I do not want to know any other. Constant change of creed is sure loss. If a tree has to be taken up two or three times a year, you will not need to build a very large loft in which to store the apples. When people are always shifting their doctrinal principles, they are not likely to bring forth much fruit to the glory of God. It is good for young believers to begin with a firm hold upon those great fundamental doctrines which the Lord has taught in His Word. Why, if I believed what some preach about the temporary, trumpery salvation which only lasts for a time, I would scarcely be at all grateful for it; but when I know that those whom God saves He saves with an everlasting salvation, when I know that He gives to them an everlasting righteousness, when I know that He settles them on an everlasting foundation of everlasting love, and that He will bring them to His everlasting kingdom, oh, then I do wonder, and I am astonished that such a blessing as this should ever have been given to me!

"Pause, my soul! adore, and wonder!
Ask, 'Oh, why such love to me?'
Grace hath put me in the number
Of the Saviour's family:
Hallelujah!
Thanks, eternal thanks, to Thee!"
I suppose there are some persons whose minds naturally incline towards the doctrine of free-will. I can only say that mine inclines as naturally towards the doctrines of sovereign grace. Sometimes, when I see some of the worst characters in the street, I feel as if my heart must burst forth in tears of gratitude that God has never let me act as they have done! I have thought, if God had left me alone, and had not touched me by His grace, what a great sinner I should have been! I should have run to the utmost lengths of sin, dived into the very depths of evil, nor should I have stopped at any vice or folly, if God had not restrained me. I feel that I should have been a very king of sinners, if God had let me alone. I cannot understand the reason why I am saved, except upon the ground that God would have it so. I cannot, if I look ever so earnestly, discover any kind of reason in myself why I should be a partaker of Divine grace. If I am not at this moment without Christ, it is only because Christ Jesus would have His will with me, and that will was that I should be with Him where He is, and should share His glory. I can put the crown nowhere but upon the head of Him whose mighty grace has saved me from going down into the pit. Looking back on my past life, I can see that the dawning of it all was of God; of God effectively. I took no torch with which to light the sun, but the sun enlightened me. I did not commence my spiritual life—no, I rather kicked, and struggled against the things of the Spirit: when He drew me, for a time I did not run after Him: there was a natural hatred in my soul of everything holy and good. Wooings were lost upon me—warnings were cast to the wind—thunders were despised; and as for the whispers of His love, they were rejected as being less than nothing and vanity. But, sure I am, I can say now, speaking on behalf of myself, "He only is my salvation." It was He who turned my heart, and brought me down on my knees before Him. I can in very deed, say with Doddridge and Toplady—

"Grace taught my soul to pray,
And made my eyes o'erflow;"
and coming to this moment, I can add—

'Tis grace has kept me to this day,
And will not let me go."
Well can I remember the manner in which I learned the doctrines of grace in a single instant. Born, as all of us are by nature, an Arminian, I still believed the old things I had heard continually from the pulpit, and did not see the grace of God. When I was coming to Christ, I thought I was doing it all myself, and though I sought the Lord earnestly, I had no idea the Lord was seeking me. I do not think the young convert is at first aware of this. I can recall the very day and hour when first I received those truths in my own soul—when they were, as John Bunyan says, burnt into my heart as with a hot iron, and I can recollect how I felt that I had grown on a sudden from a babe into a man—that I had made progress in Scriptural knowledge, through having found, once for all, the clue to the truth of God. One week-night, when I was sitting in the house of God, I was not thinking much about the preacher's sermon, for I did not believe it. The thought struck me, How did you come to be a Christian? I sought the Lord. But how did you come to seek the Lord? The truth flashed across my mind in a moment—I should not have sought Him unless there had been some previous influence in my mind to make me seek Him. I prayed, thought I, but then I asked myself, How came I to pray? I was induced to pray by reading the Scriptures. How came I to read the Scriptures? I did read them, but what led me to do so? Then, in a moment, I saw that God was at the bottom of it all, and that He was the Author of my faith, and so the whole doctrine of grace opened up to me, and from that doctrine I have not departed to this day, and I desire to make this my constant confession, "I ascribe my change wholly to God."

I once attended a service where the text happened to be, "He shall choose our inheritance for us;" and the good man who occupied the pulpit was more than a little of an Arminian. Therefore, when he commenced, he said, "This passage refers entirely to our temporal inheritance, it has nothing whatever to do with our everlasting destiny, for," said he, "we do not want Christ to choose for us in the matter of Heaven or hell. It is so plain and easy, that every man who has a grain of common sense will choose Heaven, and any person would know better than to choose hell. We have no need of any superior intelligence, or any greater Being, to choose Heaven or hell for us. It is left to our own free-will, and we have enough wisdom given us, sufficiently correct means to judge for ourselves," and therefore, as he very logically inferred, there was no necessity for Jesus Christ, or anyone, to make a choice for us. We could choose the inheritance for ourselves without any assistance. "Ah!" I thought, "but, my good brother, it may be very true that we could, but I think we should want something more than common sense before we should choose aright."

First, let me ask, must we not all of us admit an over-ruling Providence, and the appointment of Jehovah's hand, as to the means whereby we came into this world? Those men who think that, afterwards, we are left to our own free-will to choose this one or the other to direct our steps, must admit that our entrance into the world was not of our own will, but that God had then to choose for us. What circumstances were those in our power which led us to elect certain persons to be our parents? Had we anything to do with it? Did not God Himself appoint our parents, native place, and friends? Could He not have caused me to be born with the skin of the Hottentot, brought forth by a filthy mother who would nurse me in her "kraal," and teach me to bow down to Pagan gods, quite as easily as to have given me a pious mother, who would each morning and night bend her knee in prayer on my behalf? Or, might He not, if He had pleased, have given me some profligate to have been my parent, from whose lips I might have early heard fearful, filthy, and obscene language? Might He not have placed me where I should have had a drunken father, who would have immured me in a very dungeon of ignorance, and brought me up in the chains of crime? Was it not God's Providence that I had so happy a lot, that both my parents were His children, and endeavoured to train me up in the fear of the Lord?

John Newton used to tell a whimsical story, and laugh at it, too, of a good woman who said, in order to prove the doctrine of election, "Ah! sir, the Lord must have loved me before I was born, or else He would not have seen anything in me to love afterwards." I am sure it is true in my case; I believe the doctrine of election, because I am quite certain that, if God had not chosen me, I should never have chosen Him; and I am sure He chose me before I was born, or else He never would have chosen me afterwards; and He must have elected me for reasons unknown to me, for I never could find any reason in myself why He should have looked upon me with special love. So I am forced to accept that great Biblical doctrine. I recollect an Arminian brother telling me that he had read the Scriptures through a score or more times, and could never find the doctrine of election in them. He added that he was sure he would have done so if it had been there, for he read the Word on his knees. I said to him, "I think you read the Bible in a very uncomfortable posture, and if you had read it in your easy chair, you would have been more likely to understand it. Pray, by all means, and the more, the better, but it is a piece of superstition to think there is anything in the posture in which a man puts himself for reading: and as to reading through the Bible twenty times without having found anything about the doctrine of election, the wonder is that you found anything at all: you must have galloped through it at such a rate that you were not likely to have any intelligible idea of the meaning of the Scriptures."

If it would be marvelous to see one river leap up from the earth full-grown, what would it be to gaze upon a vast spring from which all the rivers of the earth should at once come bubbling up, a million of them born at a birth? What a vision would it be! Who can conceive it. And yet the love of God is that fountain, from which all the rivers of mercy, which have ever gladdened our race—all the rivers of grace in time, and of glory hereafter—take their rise. My soul, stand thou at that sacred fountain-head, and adore and magnify, for ever and ever, God, even our Father, who hath loved us! In the very beginning, when this great universe lay in the mind of God, like unborn forests in the acorn cup; long ere the echoes awoke the solitudes; before the mountains were brought forth; and long ere the light flashed through the sky, God loved His chosen creatures. Before there was any created being—when the ether was not fanned by an angel's wing, when space itself had not an existence, when there was nothing save God alone—even then, in that loneliness of Deity, and in that deep quiet and profundity, His bowels moved with love for His chosen. Their names were written on His heart, and then were they dear to His soul. Jesus loved His people before the foundation of the world—even from eternity! and when He called me by His grace, He said to me, "I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee."

Then, in the fulness of time, He purchased me with His blood; He let His heart run out in one deep gaping wound for me long ere I loved Him. Yea, when He first came to me, did I not spurn Him? When He knocked at the door, and asked for entrance, did I not drive Him away, and do despite to His grace? Ah, I can remember that I full often did so until, at last, by the power of His effectual grace, He said, "I must, I will come in;" and then He turned my heart, and made me love Him. But even till now I should have resisted Him, had it not been for His grace. Well, then since He purchased me when I was dead in sins, does it not follow, as a consequence necessary and logical, that He must have loved me first? Did my Saviour die for me because I believed on Him? No; I was not then in existence; I had then no being. Could the Saviour, therefore, have died because I had faith, when I myself was not yet born? Could that have been possible? Could that have been the origin of the Saviour's love towards me? Oh! no; my Saviour died for me long before I believed. "But," says someone, "He foresaw that you would have faith; and, therefore, He loved you." What did He foresee about my faith? Did He foresee that I should get that faith myself, and that I should believe on Him of myself? No; Christ could not foresee that, because no Christian man will ever say that faith came of itself without the gift and without the working of the Holy Spirit. I have met with a great many believers, and talked with them about this matter; but I never knew one who could put his hand on his heart, and say, "I believed in Jesus without the assistance of the Holy Spirit."

I am bound to the doctrine of the depravity of the human heart, because I find myself depraved in heart, and have daily proofs that in my flesh there dwelleth no good thing. If God enters into covenant with unfallen man, man is so insignificant a creature that it must be an act of gracious condescension on the Lord's part; but if God enters into covenant with sinful man, he is then so offensive a creature that it must be, on God's part, an act of pure, free, rich, sovereign grace. When the Lord entered into covenant with me, I am sure that it was all of grace, nothing else but grace. When I remember what a den of unclean beasts and birds my heart was, and how strong was my unrenewed will, how obstinate and rebellious against the sovereignty of the Divine rule, I always feel inclined to take the very lowest room in my Father's house, and when I enter Heaven, it will be to go among the less than the least of all saints, and with the chief of sinners.

The late lamented Mr. Denham has put, at the foot of his portrait, a most admirable text, "Salvation is of the Lord." That is just an epitome of Calvinism; it is the sum and substance of it. If anyone should ask me what I mean by a Calvinist, I should reply, "He is one who says, Salvation is of the Lord." I cannot find in Scripture any other doctrine than this. It is the essence of the Bible. "He only is my rock and my salvation." Tell me anything contrary to this truth, and it will be a heresy; tell me a heresy, and I shall find its essence here, that it has departed from this great, this fundamental, this rock-truth, "God is my rock and my salvation." What is the heresy of Rome, but the addition of something to the perfect merits of Jesus Christ—the bringing in of the works of the flesh, to assist in our justification? And what is the heresy of Arminianism but the addition of something to the work of the Redeemer? Every heresy, if brought to the touchstone, will discover itself here. I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified, unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the gospel, and nothing else. I do not believe we can preach the gospel, if we do not preach justification by faith, without works; nor unless we preach the sovereignty of God in His dispensation of grace; nor unless we exalt the electing, unchangeable, eternal, immutable, conquering love of Jehovah; nor do I think we can preach the gospel, unless we base it upon the special and particular redemption of His elect and chosen people which Christ wrought out upon the cross; nor can I comprehend a gospel which lets saints fall away after they are called, and suffers the children of God to be burned in the fires of damnation after having once believed in Jesus. Such a gospel I abhor.

"If ever it should come to pass,
That sheep of Christ might fall away,
My fickle, feeble soul, alas!
Would fall a thousand times a day."
If one dear saint of God had perished, so might all; if one of the covenant ones be lost, so may all be; and then there is no gospel promise true, but the Bible is a lie, and there is nothing in it worth my acceptance. I will be an infidel at once when I can believe that a saint of God can ever fall finally. If God hath loved me once, then He will love me for ever. God has a master-mind; He arranged everything in His gigantic intellect long before He did it; and once having settled it, He never alters it, "This shall be done," saith He, and the iron hand of destiny marks it down, and it is brought to pass. "This is My purpose," and it stands, nor can earth or hell alter it. "This is My decree," saith He, "promulgate it, ye holy angels; rend it down from the gate of Heaven, ye devils, if ye can; but ye cannot alter the decree, it shall stand for ever." God altereth not His plans; why should He? He is Almighty, and therefore can perform His pleasure. Why should He? He is the All-wise, and therefore cannot have planned wrongly. Why should He? He is the everlasting God, and therefore cannot die before His plan is accomplished. Why should He change? Ye worthless atoms of earth, ephemera of a day, ye creeping insects upon this bay-leaf of existence, ye may change your plans, but He shall never, never change His. Has He told me that His plan is to save me? If so, I am for ever safe.

"My name from the palms of His hands
Eternity will not erase;
Impress'd on His heart it remains,
In marks of indelible grace."
I do not know how some people, who believe that a Christian can fall from grace, manage to be happy. It must be a very commendable thing in them to be able to get through a day without despair. If I did not believe the doctrine of the final perseverance of the saints, I think I should be of all men the most miserable, because I should lack any ground of comfort. I could not say, whatever state of heart I came into, that I should be like a well-spring of water, whose stream fails not; I should rather have to take the comparison of an intermittent spring, that might stop on a sudden, or a reservoir, which I had no reason to expect would always be full. I believe that the happiest of Christians and the truest of Christians are those who never dare to doubt God, but who take His Word simply as it stands, and believe it, and ask no questions, just feeling assured that if God has said it, it will be so. I bear my willing testimony that I have no reason, nor even the shadow of a reason, to doubt my Lord, and I challenge Heaven, and earth, and hell, to bring any proof that God is untrue. From the depths of hell I call the fiends, and from this earth I call the tried and afflicted believers, and to Heaven I appeal, and challenge the long experience of the blood-washed host, and there is not to be found in the three realms a single person who can bear witness to one fact which can disprove the faithfulness of God, or weaken His claim to be trusted by His servants. There are many things that may or may not happen, but this I know shall happen—

"He shall present my soul,
Unblemish'd and complete,
Before the glory of His face,
With joys divinely great."
All the purposes of man have been defeated, but not the purposes of God. The promises of man may be broken—many of them are made to be broken—but the promises of God shall all be fulfilled. He is a promise-maker, but He never was a promise-breaker; He is a promise-keeping God, and every one of His people shall prove it to be so. This is my grateful, personal confidence, "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me"—unworthy me, lost and ruined me. He will yet save me; and—

"I, among the blood-wash'd throng,
Shall wave the palm, and wear the crown,
And shout loud victory."

I go to a land which the plough of earth hath never upturned, where it is greener than earth's best pastures, and richer than her most abundant harvests ever saw. I go to a building of more gorgeous architecture than man hath ever builded; it is not of mortal design; it is "a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the Heavens." All I shall know and enjoy in Heaven, will be given to me by the Lord, and I shall say, when at last I appear before Him—

"Grace all the work shall crown
Through everlasting days;
It lays in Heaven the topmost stone,
And well deserves the praise."
I know there are some who think it necessary to their system of theology to limit the merit of the blood of Jesus: if my theological system needed such a limitation, I would cast it to the winds. I cannot, I dare not allow the thought to find a lodging in my mind, it seems so near akin to blasphemy. In Christ's finished work I see an ocean of merit; my plummet finds no bottom, my eye discovers no shore. There must be sufficient efficacy in the blood of Christ, if God had so willed it, to have saved not only all in this world, but all in ten thousand worlds, had they transgressed their Maker's law. Once admit infinity into the matter, and limit is out of the question. Having a Divine Person for an offering, it is not consistent to conceive of limited value; bound and measure are terms inapplicable to the Divine sacrifice. The intent of the Divine purpose fixes the application of the infinite offering, but does not change it into a finite work. Think of the numbers upon whom God has bestowed His grace already. Think of the countless hosts in Heaven: if thou wert introduced there to-day, thou wouldst find it as easy to tell the stars, or the sands of the sea, as to count the multitudes that are before the throne even now. They have come from the East, and from the West, from the North, and from the South, and they are sitting down with Abraham, and with Isaac, and with Jacob in the Kingdom of God; and beside those in Heaven, think of the saved ones on earth. Blessed be God, His elect on earth are to be counted by millions, I believe, and the days are coming, brighter days than these, when there shall be multitudes upon multitudes brought to know the Saviour, and to rejoice in Him. The Father's love is not for a few only, but for an exceeding great company. "A great multitude, which no man could number," will be found in Heaven. A man can reckon up to very high figures; set to work your Newtons, your mightiest calculators, and they can count great numbers, but God and God alone can tell the multitude of His redeemed. I believe there will be more in Heaven than in hell. If anyone asks me why I think so, I answer, because Christ, in everything, is to "have the pre-eminence," and I cannot conceive how He could have the pre-eminence if there are to be more in the dominions of Satan than in Paradise. Moreover, I have never read that there is to be in hell a great multitude, which no man could number. I rejoice to know that the souls of all infants, as soon as they die, speed their way to Paradise. Think what a multitude there is of them! Then there are already in Heaven unnumbered myriads of the spirits of just men made perfect—the redeemed of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues up till now; and there are better times coming, when the religion of Christ shall be universal; when—

"He shall reign from pole to pole,
With illimitable sway;"
when whole kingdoms shall bow down before Him, and nations shall be born in a day, and in the thousand years of the great millennial state there will be enough saved to make up all the deficiencies of the thousands of years that have gone before. Christ shall be Master everywhere, and His praise shall be sounded in every land. Christ shall have the pre-eminence at last; His train shall be far larger than that which shall attend the chariot of the grim monarch of hell.

Some persons love the doctrine of universal atonement because they say, "It is so beautiful. It is a lovely idea that Christ should have died for all men; it commends itself," they say, "to the instincts of humanity; there is something in it full of joy and beauty." I admit there is, but beauty may be often associated with falsehood. There is much which I might admire in the theory of universal redemption, but I will just show what the supposition necessarily involves. If Christ on His cross intended to save every man, then He intended to save those who were lost before He died. If the doctrine be true, that He died for all men, then He died for some who were in hell before He came into this world, for doubtless there were even then myriads there who had been cast away because of their sins. Once again, if it was Christ's intention to save all men, how deplorably has He been disappointed, for we have His own testimony that there is a lake which burneth with fire and brimstone, and into that pit of woe have been cast some of the very persons who, according to the theory of universal redemption, were bought with His blood. That seems to me a conception a thousand times more repulsive than any of those consequences which are said to be associated with the Calvinistic and Christian doctrine of special and particular redemption. To think that my Saviour died for men who were or are in hell, seems a supposition too horrible for me to entertain. To imagine for a moment that He was the Substitute for all the sons of men, and that God, having first punished the Substitute, afterwards punished the sinners themselves, seems to conflict with all my ideas of Divine justice. That Christ should offer an atonement and satisfaction for the sins of all men, and that afterwards some of those very men should be punished for the sins for which Christ had already atoned, appears to me to be the most monstrous iniquity that could ever have been imputed to Saturn, to Janus, to the goddess of the Thugs, or to the most diabolical heathen deities. God forbid that we should ever think thus of Jehovah, the just and wise and good!

There is no soul living who holds more firmly to the doctrines of grace than I do, and if any man asks me whether I am ashamed to be called a Calvinist, I answer—I wish to be called nothing but a Christian; but if you ask me, do I hold the doctrinal views which were held by John Calvin, I reply, I do in the main hold them, and rejoice to avow it. But far be it from me even to imagine that Zion contains none but Calvinistic Christians within her walls, or that there are none saved who do not hold our views. Most atrocious things have been spoken about the character and spiritual condition of John Wesley, the modern prince of Arminians. I can only say concerning him that, while I detest many of the doctrines which he preached, yet for the man himself I have a reverence second to no Wesleyan; and if there were wanted two apostles to be added to the number of the twelve, I do not believe that there could be found two men more fit to be so added than George Whitefield and John Wesley. The character of John Wesley stands beyond all imputation for self-sacrifice, zeal, holiness, and communion with God; he lived far above the ordinary level of common Christians, and was one "of whom the world was not worthy." I believe there are multitudes of men who cannot see these truths, or, at least, cannot see them in the way in which we put them, who nevertheless have received Christ as their Saviour, and are as dear to the heart of the God of grace as the soundest Calvinist in or out of Heaven.

I do not think I differ from any of my Hyper-Calvinistic brethren in what I do believe, but I differ from them in what they do not believe. I do not hold any less than they do, but I hold a little more, and, I think, a little more of the truth revealed in the Scriptures. Not only are there a few cardinal doctrines, by which we can steer our ship North, South, East, or West, but as we study the Word, we shall begin to learn something about the North-west and North-east, and all else that lies between the four cardinal points. The system of truth revealed in the Scriptures is not simply one straight line, but two; and no man will ever get a right view of the gospel until he knows how to look at the two lines at once. For instance, I read in one Book of the Bible, "The Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." Yet I am taught, in another part of the same inspired Word, that "it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy." I see, in one place, God in providence presiding over all, and yet I see, and I cannot help seeing, that man acts as he pleases, and that God has left his actions, in a great measure, to his own free-will. Now, if I were to declare that man was so free to act that there was no control of God over his actions, I should be driven very near to atheism; and if, on the other hand, I should declare that God so over-rules all things that man is not free enough to be responsible, I should be driven at once into Antinomianism or fatalism. That God predestines, and yet that man is responsible, are two facts that few can see clearly. They are believed to be inconsistent and contradictory to each other. If, then, I find taught in one part of the Bible that everything is fore-ordained, that is true; and if I find, in another Scripture, that man is responsible for all his actions, that is true; and it is only my folly that leads me to imagine that these two truths can ever contradict each other. I do not believe they can ever be welded into one upon any earthly anvil, but they certainly shall be one in eternity. They are two lines that are so nearly parallel, that the human mind which pursues them farthest will never discover that they converge, but they do converge, and they will meet somewhere in eternity, close to the throne of God, whence all truth doth spring.

It is often said that the doctrines we believe have a tendency to lead us to sin. I have heard it asserted most positively, that those high doctrines which we love, and which we find in the Scriptures, are licentious ones. I do not know who will have the hardihood to make that assertion, when they consider that the holiest of men have been believers in them. I ask the man who dares to say that Calvinism is a licentious religion, what he thinks of the character of Augustine, or Calvin, or Whitefield, who in successive ages were the great exponents of the system of grace; or what will he say of the Puritans, whose works are full of them? Had a man been an Arminian in those days, he would have been accounted the vilest heretic breathing, but now we are looked upon as the heretics, and they as the orthodox. We have gone back to the old school; we can trace our descent from the apostles. It is that vein of free-grace, running through the sermonizing of Baptists, which has saved us as a denomination. Were it not for that, we should not stand where we are today. We can run a golden line up to Jesus Christ Himself, through a holy succession of mighty fathers, who all held these glorious truths; and we can ask concerning them, "Where will you find holier and better men in the world?" No doctrine is so calculated to preserve a man from sin as the doctrine of the grace of God. Those who have called it "a licentious doctrine" did not know anything at all about it. Poor ignorant things, they little knew that their own vile stuff was the most licentious doctrine under Heaven. If they knew the grace of God in truth, they would soon see that there was no preservative from lying like a knowledge that we are elect of God from the foundation of the world. There is nothing like a belief in my eternal perseverance, and the immutability of my Father's affection, which can keep me near to Him from a motive of simple gratitude. Nothing makes a man so virtuous as belief of the truth. A lying doctrine will soon beget a lying practice. A man cannot have an erroneous belief without by-and-by having an erroneous life. I believe the one thing naturally begets the other. Of all men, those have the most disinterested piety, the sublimest reverence, the most ardent devotion, who believe that they are saved by grace, without works, through faith, and that not of themselves, it is the gift of God. Christians should take heed, and see that it always is so, lest by any means Christ should be crucified afresh, and put to an open shame.

Some interesting links:
A Defense of Calvinism, by Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834-1892), text above
Spurgeon's Defense of Arminians (quick quote from the above)
Are you sure you like Spurgeon? (really good read)
About Spurgeon
The Down-Grade Controversy (J.MacArthur)

Spurgeon on "Questionable things"

2010-05-22T03:34:00.003-04:00

(In this particular case, the "questionable thing" is cigar smoking. Emphasises added. For context, read here.)

To the Editor of the Daily Telegraph.

SIR,

You cannot regret more than I do the occasion which produced the unpremeditated remarks to which you refer. I would, however, remind you that I am not responsible for the accuracy of newspaper reports, nor do I admit that they are a full and fair representation of what I said. I am described as rising with a twinkling eye, and this at once suggested that I spoke flippantly; but indeed, I did nothing of the kind. I was rather too much in earnest than too little.

I demur altogether and most positively to the statement that to smoke tobacco is in itself a sin. It may become so, as any other indifferent action may, but as an action it is no sin.

Together with hundreds of thousands of my fellow-Christians I have smoked, and, with them, I am under the condemnation of living in habitual sin, if certain accusers are to be believed. As I would not knowingly live even in the smallest violation of the law of God, and sin in the transgression of the law, I will not own to sin when I am not conscious of it.

There is growing up in society a Pharisaic system which adds to the commands of God the precepts of men; to that system I will not yield for an hour. The preservation of my liberty may bring upon me the upbraidings of many good men, and the sneers of the self-righteous; but I shall endure both with serenity so long as I feel clear in my conscience before God.

The expression "smoking to the glory of God" standing alone has an ill sound, and I do not justify it; but in the sense in which I employed it I still stand to it. No Christian should do anything in which he cannot glorify God; and this may be done, according to Scripture, in eating and drinking and the common actions of life.

When I have found intense pain relieved, a weary brain soothed, and calm, refreshing sleep obtained by a cigar, I have felt grateful to God, and have blessed His name; this is what I meant, and by no means did I use sacred words triflingly.

If through smoking I had wasted an hour of my time—if I had stinted my gifts to the poor—if I had rendered my mind less vigorous—I trust I should see my fault and turn from it; but he who charges me with these things shall have no answer but my forgiveness.

I am told that my open avowal will lessen my influence, and my reply is that if I have gained any influence through being thought different from what I am, I have no wish to retain it. I will do nothing upon the sly, and nothing about which I have a doubt.

I am most sorry that prominence has been given to what seems to me so small a matter—and the last thing in my thoughts would have been the mention of it from the pulpit; but I was placed in such a position that I must either by my silence plead guilty to living in sin, or else bring down upon my unfortunate self the fierce rebukes of the anti-tobacco advocates by speaking out honestly. I chose the latter; and although I am now the target for these worthy brethren, I would sooner endure their severest censures than sneakingly do what I could not justify, and earn immunity from their criticism by tamely submitting to be charged with sin in an action which my conscience allows.

Yours truly,

C. H. SPURGEON.

Nightingale Lane, Clapham, Sept. 23.

Piecing progress

2010-05-21T23:34:00.002-04:00

A big pile o' blocks.... Woo-hoo!!

And here we are sewn all the way from strip #1 to #10... out of 21 strips. Not quite half-way through piecing.

Unfortunately, the sewing's taking me about an extra half-hour per added strip; and the ironing takes just as long as the sewing, almost to the minute. But at least I have a cool new toy with which to console myself!!! :-D

Isn't it cute?? No more steamed fingers trying to get "scant 1/4" seams" to lay open flat!!!

Somewhere in my e-travels ordering quilting supplies, I read about mini-irons. Supposedly great for ironing small things. Since I have like bazillions of small seams to iron open on these blocks, I thought a mini-iron might be a worth-while investment--especially after the first round of steam burns, LOL.

OK, so maybe it's not quite a bazillion seams, but at 150" of seams per square by 80 squares... let's see, 12,000"?? Of which I've finished 3,400" so only between a quarter and a third of the sewing down even though I'm almost half done by strip count... man, a pennant is sounding better all the time!!! ;-)

But the mini-iron is cool. And does the job. And I got it for 50% off from Joann's.com. And I managed not to burn myself on it in the middle of the night last night--always a plus not to go to bed with throbbing fingers!!

Ta-da!!

All set up for strip #11. Time to quit blogging & get sewing!! Tomorrow... (yawn)

From "c" to "p" to "little fishies"

2010-05-20T21:23:00.002-04:00

So Monday allowed time for one set of strips after all. Well, Monday evening/Tuesday morning. :-) Being a night owl comes in handy when you don't want "help" from little people.

The "c" set

The "p" set

Yeah, there was another strip of white added in between "c" and "p," but the blue is what's making noticeable patterns at the moment...

Maybe I should just give them a chain. It's kinda cool looking on it's own, right?

The "little fishies" set
(yes, I know it's little fishes... but I *say* fishies--sticks out tongue at spell-checker)

For some reason, the blocks as they stand remind me of little fishies. Too bad fishies don't conjure up wedding bells.... (or I'd have given this chain instead, LOL)

And there you have it. Strips 1-9 all sewn, ready for #10.

3 strips down, 18 to go

2010-05-17T00:34:00.004-04:00

So this afternoon I started the assembly line, Southern-style. Yes, Duck tape again. Having a solid edge to run my strips against while sewing those "scant" 1/4" seams seemed like a really good idea. At least if they were wrong, they'd be uniformly wrong, LOL. So the 6 1/2" right angle triangle ruler that I bought with no particular purpose in mind came to the rescue once again. The thickness of the ruler makes a great sewing guide.

Here I am all set up to do the first run-through of the last 78 blocks.

Well now, that was fun. Maybe I'll just give them a blue and white chain. Surely they'd be touched!

Actually, the first set went so well, I decided to do a second run tonight. Here they are, all ironed & ready to cut apart.

All set for round four. Might have to wait for Tuesday though. Tomorrow will be busy with the rest of "real life."

2 block set

2010-05-16T01:24:00.003-04:00

Pretty cool looking, eh?

Here are the two blocks together. Can you guess which is which?

Next: assembly-line piecing the other 78 blocks. Don't worry, there won't be a blow-by-blow accounting of that. I don't think....

Second block done!

2010-05-16T00:30:00.000-04:00

Decided to walk another one all the way through. Wanted to try *not* pinning, getting closer to a scant 1/4 instead of a generous 1/8th, and squaring off as needed (gotta keep the Olfa set busy). Didn't take any longer (even though I ripped out a couple of the longer seams to do-over). I like it better. Not perfect, but better.

*Think* I'm ready to tackle assembly-line production of the last 78 blocks.... *gulp*

Here's the 2nd block.

First block finished!!

2010-05-15T00:15:00.001-04:00

First block done!

Learned a few things:

"Scant" 1/4" seams are for the birds.
Pinning the strips before sewing seemed like a good idea, but maybe not. Chews up a lot of time to pull them all back out again & my feed dogs canNOT handle pins. Makes for skipped stitches every time.
I probably should square up the block every now and again. I don't have a 12 1/2" block, more like 12 3/4". Annoying..... but hey, not bad all things considered.

Trying to decide if I want to take the time to walk another block all the way through the process before starting the assembly line. Probably a good idea, but it'll take all day tomorrow...er... today. Hmmm....

Looks like a pin-wheel!!

2010-05-14T19:06:00.002-04:00

One set of strips laid out in formation. Have to try at least one block start to finish before beginning to assembly-line produce the blocks.

An hour later and it looks like we're making progress...

...but it's time to break for supper.

All stripped & ready to sew

2010-05-14T18:11:00.003-04:00

All the strips (all 21 of them, plus those 8- 1" squares per block--yes, I do think I'm nuts) are cut and I'm ready to start sewing. I think.

I do wish you could smell those roses in the background.

1" block strips ready to cut

2010-05-14T09:20:00.002-04:00

Cutting 320- 1" blocks each of blue and cream, pre-attached to their various strips. Much easier than sewing 640- 1 1/2" seams!

(And may I mention again, I just *love* my Olfa set!!!)

Finding short-cuts (aka strip piecing)

2010-05-13T16:45:00.000-04:00

So I've realized that making a quilt the finished size I want requires a mere 80 blocks. Which means a total of 640 - 1 and 1/2" squares (320 each of 2 colors), in addition to the 21 other pieces per block. And I think that's nuts!!

Even though the directions say "sew a 1" block of contrasting color to the end of strip #'s 5, 9, and 12;" I'm thinking there *has* to be an easier way. Why not sew the 1 1/2" strips of contrasting color together before cutting them into units? For that matter, I could sew the contrasting "single block" strips to the wider strips before cutting *them* and save myself even more tiny seam sewing.

So here we are. Half-way into the "contrasting squares" process...

...getting ready to sew on 1" blocks, 80 at a time. This I can handle. (I think!)

There's a great set of step-by-step strip-piecing directions here. And more helpful tips here.

What's a "scant" 1/4" seam, anyway?

2010-05-13T12:30:00.003-04:00

Practicing a "scant" 1/4" seam on scrap.

Why don't they just call it a 3/16ths and be done with it?? BTW, there are *really* helpful tips about successfully sewing those pesky 1/4" seams here.

Quilting Southern-style

2010-05-03T02:04:00.001-04:00

Decided I didn't want to mess with double-folding the 60" stuff before cutting. But my really cool Olfa ruler is only 6" x 24" long. What to do, what to do?

Duct tape!!!

Works like a charm. (insert self-congratulatory smile here)
;-)

Making the first cuts

2010-05-02T18:18:00.000-04:00

So I have all my fabric, and the really cool Olfa cutting mat (from Hobby Lobby with a 40% off coupon) has been joined by a really cool Olfa rotary cutter and (yep, you guessed it) really cool Olfa rulers (that I got on a wicked good sale from Connecting Threads.com). I'm all set now, right???

I am trying to remember why I got a 6 1/2" right-angle triangle ruler though. There are no diagonal lines anywhere in this block--unless I cut something WAY wrong....

Salad anyone??

2010-04-22T14:48:00.001-04:00

Look carefully at this picture before you take me up on the offer.

Do you know what this plant is?

Here's a hint. It grows on this bank behind our house.

The bank where the kids like to toss the boomerang so they can go rescue it. (OK, so this is actually the bank sans "salad" ingredients, but you get the idea. It took a while.)

Recognize it yet? It's itchy. And I'm gonna be scratchy in a few days, probably for a few weeks.

But it's gone. All gone. By the root stock gone. One more section of our yard is poison free. Yeah!!

Project time

2010-04-21T01:06:00.001-04:00

So I'm working on a project. It's meant to be a surprise, and I'm pretty sure the recipient doesn't read here. If so, well... it won't be a surprise after all. But that's OK. The sight of me bald after it's over can be the surprise instead, LOL.

I'm embarking on my first full quilt. Have done exactly two squares before, and hand quilted the top (and binding) of one full-sized quilt. This should be interesting. I looked at the double-wedding ring patterns, but they all say "novices need not apply." Moving on then!!

Found another quilt block that looks interesting. The directions are kinda sparse, but the graphic is cool!! Here's to hoping the paucity of instruction won't be a problem. I guess if you're tackling this pattern, the author assumes you already know the quilting basics.

So, project pattern selected. Now to find out what colors "they" like. And buy fabric. And get going....

Children Learn What They Live

2010-03-26T01:52:00.001-04:00

Children Learn What They Live

By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

things kids say...

2010-01-30T17:14:00.003-05:00

I had noticed BD#1 was streching when he came out of his bedroom after his nap, so I asked him if he was still tired. This was his response:

"When I stretch, I'm pushing sleep away. When I was trying not to go to sleep, the nap was so strong that it beat me."

BD#1, age 4.
This afternoon.

Kids!!! Gotta love 'em! :-)

Must read: UNICEF in Haiti

2010-01-30T15:23:00.006-05:00

You may have noticed I've added a list of bloggers in Haiti to my sidebar. They are all folks working in Haiti with several small Christian NGOs, and were there on the ground *before* the earthquake.

Apparently the international adoption situation in Haiti is getting... "interesting," due primarily to high-level interference by UNICEF. Read, then write.

Read: No Place for Politics

Write:

Raymond Joseph

Haitian Ambassador to US

embassy@haiti.org

p 202-332-4090

f 202-745-7215

Kenneth H Merten

US Ambassador to Haiti

Tabarre 41, Blvd 15 Octobre

Port-au-Prince, Haiti

Haiti-earthquake@state.gov

P 509 22 29 8000

F 509 22 29 8028

Hilary Clinton/Dept of State

U.S. Department of State

2201 C Street NW

Washington, DC 20520

Main Switchboard:

202-647-4000

Loving Our Kids on Purpose

2010-01-25T16:32:00.013-05:00

Recently, I finished reading Danny Silk's book, Loving Our Kids on Purpose. The author is some sort of family or associate pastor, but he indicates that he wrote the book because of his experience as a foster-parent having to utilize non-corporal discipline exclusively. Despite the stated basis for the book, it appears the only specific examples he cites pertain to his natural children.

His main argument in the book is that parents should love their children without causing them to fear punishment or discipline such as spanking or the rod. His primary, and perhaps sole, scriptural support is I John 4:18 which states, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (NIV)

On the surface, the above verse makes a fairly convincing case. After all, it seems pretty clear that fear and love are mutually exclusive at least in this passage. And although Mr. Silk does not exactly build his case with scripture, he does pull out of his bag of tricks a handy anecdote, which he repeats "ad nauseum", to really cinch the deal. It appears that at some point in time either he or one of his children noticed a picture of a large yellow construction-sized dump-truck crushing a red street-sized pick-up. Upon viewing this picture he seems to have had an epiphany of sorts and concluded that there are no yellow trucks in Heaven.

I know pastors love their illustrations, but this book is a perfect example of how widely misused they are even by the clergy. First of all, I will admit that illustrations do have their place in helping one to understand a difficult concept. However, illustrations are not scripture; nor do they carry the weight or force of scripture. Unfortunately, Mr. Silk relies on this illustration to be one of, if not the primary, source(s) of evidence for his premise. Although Mr. Silk draws some debatable conclusions from this illustration, it really doesn't amount to a hill of beans because he relies on the illustration, not scripture, as proof for his point.

So let's get back to what scriptural support Mr. Silk does use -- I John 4:18. On page 54 of his book Mr. Silk defines the passage by saying, "It means that all the fear leaves your life when love comes in. There is no fear of punishment in love!"

The Greek word translated as "fear" in this passage is phobos, and it means alarm or fright according to Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. Additionally, there are several other closely related words such as phobeo. However, just like many English words, context is important to defining the Greek phobos and its derivatives. Perhaps that is why I Corinthians 2:12-13 gives the following instruction:

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.

Now, while I concede that I John 4:18 certainly makes a profound theological point regarding the Christian's relationship to his Savior, I am not convinced that it is a universal truth applicable to the parent-child relationship. If, as Mr. Silk puts it, "...fear leaves your life when love comes in," then how does he explain the following "problem" texts to name just a few of the many examples available:

"And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word." -- Matthew 28:8

"And they were all amazed, and they glorified God, and were filled with fear, saying, We have seen strange things to day." -- Luke 5:26

"There is no fear of God before their eyes." -- Romans 3:18

"Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour." -- Romans 13:7

Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God....For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter....And his inward affection is more abundant toward you, whilst he remembereth the obedience of you all, how with fear and trembling ye received him. -- II Corinthians 7:1,11,15

"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." -- Ephesians 5:21

"Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." -- Philippians 2:12

"Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear." -- I Timothy 5:20

"And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work, pass the time of your sojourning here in fear:" -- I Peter 1:17

"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" -- I Peter 3:15

In a word, he doesn't. Frankly, I found this aspect of the book rather alarming coming from a man who identifies himself as a pastor. Perhaps I shouldn't be shocked, but this was a scripturally shallow, if not outright erroneous, book written to scripturally shallow readers. The real tragedy is that Mr. Silk's book is only one of many such "wishy-washy" publications readily received by many of today's Christians and "pseudo-Christians" alike.

Even though Mr. Silk fails to prove his case, his book does have some merits that may make it worth reading. For instance, he does bring home the point that parenting and bullying often resemble each other a little too closely for comfort in the American fundamentalist paradigm. Also, he poses some very good questions about what one's goals should be in parenting one's children. But perhaps the most redeeming feature of the book are the examples he cites with his children. The stories reveal what correction can look like sans spanking.

So perhaps unwittingly Mr. Silk has indeed inspired me with Loving Our Kids on Purpose. Although I am not ready to remove spanking from my parenting toolbox, I am compelled to try other tools first. Even more significantly, Mr. Silk has prompted me to reassess my parenting goals and to utilize discipline in accordance with these goals. Finally, he has encouraged me to use creativity in parenting instead of solely relying on a single method of correction.

The Savage adds: If you want a book review that actually tells you what the book says ;-), try this review on Amazon.

Parenting programs or Jesus?

2010-01-25T01:20:00.005-05:00

I like this concept of abandoning "programs" and following Jesus moment by moment. Isn't that what the Christian life is supposed to be about? And no, MU is not me, although there are similarities between her story and my experiences parenting thus far...

From Ezzo.info.

What We Learned: Follow Jesus, Not Methods
by M. U.

I read Babywise while pregnant with my first son. At that time, I was a proud, over-achieving, controlling, perfectionist of a mother who was thrilled that I had stumbled upon the "perfect" and "godly" parenting method. I felt that by having control over my baby's schedule, I was setting them up for a solid relationship with Jesus Christ because they would naturally bow to authority.

Everything went according to plan with my son. He was on the schedule and sleeping through the night at nine weeks. I glowed beneath the array of praise we received for our contented child. I was constantly asked for advice from other new moms and I encouraged them to do just as I had done.

But then I blinked, and we had three out-of-control toddlers. What happened? All three had been raised on the schedule, and although each child looked skinnier (with my third being sickly) and more ravenous when foods were introduced, they seemed pretty happy.

I had chosen a method instead of Jesus. My children were not my treasure but something to be managed and controlled. They didn't bring joy but stress, and they only pleased me so they could avoid punishment, not because they delighted in me.

Here's where I am today: I've repented out loud to Jesus, to my husband, and to my children. For me personally, I like the concept of scheduling, as long as there are plenty of feedings in there when baby is hungry - not just once every rotation if that's not enough. There are other little things I can still use from their material, but it is never wise to follow someone who says, "This is the God's way" unless they are quoting Scripture. I also have decided not to cling to another parenting method (i.e. attachment parenting) but instead to live in communion with my Lord Jesus and seek him on each decision.

Now, as I love Jesus more and more, I love my children more and more, and our family is beginning to see a reversal of some of the negative effects of my sins of legalism, frustration, and control.

I believe there is room for many different styles of parenting within our culture and throughout all cultures in history. We are to follow Jesus, not methods. Jesus is life. Everything else suffocates life.

-M
US
http://www.ezzo.info/Voices/muJan10.htm

For moms of littles...

2010-01-16T23:41:00.004-05:00

Here's a little bit of inspiration and commiseration.

2 great posts...

Sanity-Saving Ideas for a House Full of "Littles"

Encouragement for parents in the trenches?

Well that's annoying.......

2010-01-02T02:48:00.001-05:00

LOL. How's that for a subject line??

So we took New Year's Day to tool around town, hit the mall for 50% off 2010 calendars, grab a puzzle board, get a new name plate engraved for a desk clock (returned/re-gifted from my dad-to whom we gave it 10 years ago), get a flash drive & bigger SD card for the camera, pick to the state car for hubby's upcoming week in Columbia, etc. We left the house at, oh I dunno, maybe 2pm?? Had our "traditional" Chinese dinner for the New Year. Got home around 8:30pm. Kids were in bed by 9pm--woot--tired out from skipping naps and wandering all over the mall this afternoon.

BUT we couldn't get the desk clock done b/c the gal was afraid she'd ruin it trying to get the old plate off, so WE have to get the old one off then go back for a new one; AND the camera (and a separate card reader) will not take the new SDHC card.... because it's high-density I suppose; AND the guy overcharged me by like 4 bucks for the puzzle mat... how a less than $18 item rings for $23+ with only 6% sales tax... (you do the math); AND because the direct deposit isn't completely set up yet, if I want hubby's check for the last half of December before Monday the 11th, I have to go pick it up ('cause he'll be in Columbia all week). So....

Yeah, that's just freaking annoying, LOL. At least the kids will be happy that they get to go back to that "play place" in the mall... (they have a random spot for kids set up... of course I can't just leave them there while I run all the returns/haggling)... :-\ This should be fun.

And I do NOT want to be in the shoes of the Radio Shack guy who tries to tell me I can't return the memory card because the packaging has been opened & because they only do exchanges if it's defective. Nope, don't want to be in his shoes....... *evil laugh*

Cleaning out the Drafty folder

2009-12-27T20:19:00.005-05:00

Yeah, so Blogger thinks my "most recent" post has gone 3 months old. Wait til I finish up the one from April that has been languishing in the "Drafts" folder since the now almost 1 year old was a mere 3 months old, LOL. Gotta get that folder empty before the new year; or that's the goal anyway.

I have things that need thinking about and mulling over and working through (like grace and parenting, and their intersection in my sanctification--nothing too heavy), and I desperately need to get the old thoughts out first. My poor tired brain cells need room to smolder, LOL.

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-25T00:14:00.003-05:00

Dear Family & Friends,

“Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.” -- Matthew 2:1-2

Who were these “wise men from the east?” They were most likely advisors to the Persian royalty, but why did they travel all the way to Jerusalem to worship the recently born “King of the Jews?” The answer may lie in events that occurred over 600 years prior to Christ’s birth. The book of Daniel, and the second chapter in particular, records the tragic captivity in “the east” of many Jews including Daniel. During his time there, Daniel prophesied of Christ’s advent and was promoted to the chief “wise man.” It is virtually certain that most of the Jews viewed their captivity as a catastrophe, but God may have used Daniel and others during those difficult times to plant the seeds of the Gospel “in the east.” All we know for sure is that six centuries later these “wise men” (and there were likely many more than three despite the Christmas tradition) appreciated a fact about the newborn King that we sometimes fail to recognize: He is more than King of the Jews. Why else did they risk life and limb to worship Him?

So as we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, we also hope that one of your joys in this season will be reflecting on who the manger-born King is and what your relationship with Him is. If you are uncertain and would like to talk more about these matters, then please feel free to visit, call, or write. It would be one of the joys of our Christmas season or the New Year to get together with you.

Although we have had a somewhat difficult year (as we know some of you have had as well), God has displayed His faithfulness throughout the year. We thank the Lord Jesus Christ that He blessed us with Daniel Earle on January 9th. Daniel continues to grow and develop along side Kenneth and Hannah. My employment with the insurance company was a trial for much of the year as I struggled to sell enough policies to make ends meet. Additionally, I was repeatedly applying for either a second job or for new full-time employment. Although the economy did not do us any favors on either account, God provided through gifts from many of you and others, too.

Autumn found Melinda taking on her first quilt. Learning how to quilt while finishing a project that someone else had started was a tall order, but by God’s grace she completed the work by Thanksgiving. In the meantime, I interviewed for three different positions at SC’s Dept. of Juvenile Justice and was hired in mid-November as a probation officer. So both Melinda and I are learning new tricks this year. Although my mother was not able to make her annual trek to our home for Thanksgiving, we did enjoy the day with some friends on their parents’ farm in GA. The kids enjoyed a tour of the farm which included cattle, horses, donkeys, mules, cats, and German shepherds.

As we prepare to celebrate Christmas, our thoughts and prayers turn to each of you who have enriched our lives over the years. Thank you very much for your love and fellowship. May God richly bless you and your family this Christmas and in the New Year.

Love,

Written by Sheep Dog

I should have asked Mike

2009-12-16T04:23:00.004-05:00

Do be in prayer for the family and friends of Mike "Metochoi" Mahurin. He's Home for Christmas. A brilliant mind for logic, a deep love for people, a soundly Biblical hermeneutic, and unswerving in his pursuit of Truth. He will be missed.

I always meant to ask him his views on the connection between grace, sanctification, and parenting philosophies. I'm assuming there is a connection of course, I just wonder what he would have said. He'd been in the pastorate (and a parent) long enough to have thought it through. And he loved logic. And he dismantled Gothard's eisegesis & God's will-as-bull's-eye theology every chance he got. I wish I had gotten the chance to know him better. *sigh*

I should have asked...

ETA: Mike's obituary

Getting ready for Christmas

2009-12-12T21:27:00.009-05:00

Traditions abound!

Pancake breakfasts and family pictures are two biggies around here. So in honor of Christmas traditions fulfilled, here's the newly minted Eggnog pancake recipe and the end result of our family's Christmas picture adventure. Enjoy!!

Eggnog Pancakes

2 1/2 cups flour
2 1/2 Tbsp. baking powder
2 Tbsp. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 c. powdered milk

Stir together thoroughly. In separate mixing bowl combine

1 1/2 cups eggnog
3 egg yolks
1/4 cup oil
plus enough milk to equal 2 1/2 cups liquid total.

Mix with dry ingredients until just combined, scrape bowl & beat for 30-45 seconds. Cook on hot griddle. Eat!

Chef's notes: Batter will be a bit thick so they cook slow, but they brown faster than regular pancakes. Also, low-fat eggnog does *not* taste as good as the regular. Just sayin'.... Also, adding the powdered milk to the wet ingredients (allowing it to dissolve before mixing into the flour) will do wonders for the texture of the pancakes.

Merry Christmas!!!

Decorating for Christmas

2009-12-05T19:41:00.006-05:00

I have it easy. All I have to do is sit and watch Christmas come into living color. Putting up the tree and decorating it is hubby's area of expertise. Don't worry--I have a job too. My job will be re-packing all the ornaments in their little boxes just so. I love it, and it's better for our marriage this way. Repacking ornaments and putting that 300 ct. string of lights back on their little holder thingie is my concession to my OCD tendencies, LOL.

When he was all done (before it was attacked too many times by the baby), the tree looked something like this:

Not to be left out of the decorating fun, the kids requested lights for their room:

But lights for their room weren't enough. Noooooooooooooooooooooo.......... they wanted pretty Christmas lights OUTSIDE too, just like Ms. A next door. *eye roll*

Since Hubby and I have always talked about decorating with lights outside anyway, we decided to let the kids think they'd won. 2 trips to Lowe's and Hobby Lobby later (2 trips each, I might add), the house now looks like this:

So the outside of the house is "looking very Christmasey" according to BD#1. Yeah! But not 30 minutes after "the lighting" outside, Ms. A called. Remember her? The one whose lights the kids liked so much they bugged us into decorating outside too?? Apparently we've started a war. :-D

Ms. A said she's in trouble with her mom (who lives on the other side of us) because for years her mom has been the only one on our street to decorate outside for Christmas. But now....

As hubby said, this is a war we can't afford to fight. There's too much time between now and Christmas!! LOL

(And for the record, Ms. A's mom was kidding. We couldn't have asked for better neighbors--on either side! I still can't believe when we were looking at all those houses, we completely forgot to pray about our future neighbors. The Lord sure blessed in spite of us!)

On Cleaning Up Messes

2009-10-03T16:17:00.003-04:00

Fall must be my favorite time of year to clean. Between the crisp cool(er) air blowing in windows (causing curtains to dust for me), the crunch of leaves on the ground (reminding me of the distinctive "crunch" of my kitchen floor), the smell of fireplaces and wood stoves starting up again... if I ever really "get" the cleaning bug, it's in the fall. But sometimes (like today), I stop and sit and read other's thoughts and find an uncanny resemblance to my own thoughts mirrored by almost all of my favorite writers. So here are a few links on "cleaning" of various types for your consideration and meditation.

Molly's: Pacify Me: Dealing with Big Emotions Vs. Stuffing/Burying/Masking

Amy's: Having it All Together

and Lisa's: Not Exactly Home and Gardens

All well worth the down-time from fall cleaning to read. Enjoy!!

O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E, pt. 2

2009-09-25T01:59:00.006-04:00

Still can't think of any gracious words, so I'll stick with posting the full (original) lyrics. These are from the song's writers, so they're accurate, LOL.

Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe.
Doing exactly what the Lord commands, doing it happily.
Action is the key, do it immediately. Joy you will receive.
Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe.

We want to live pure, we want to live clean, we want to do our best.
Sweetly submitting to authority, leaving to God the rest.
Walking in the light, keeping our attitude right, on the narrow way.
For if we believe the Word we receive, we always will obey. – Mike and Ruth Greene

O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E

2009-09-23T01:02:00.003-04:00

Wow. The kids' Sunday School song... "Obedience." I've heard my Reformed-leaning friends rail against the song before, but this comment from StuffFundiesLike just sums the argument so well. Basically, we're teaching our kids works-based sanctification. "Do this and this and this and *then* God will be happy with you." What bondage!!

Unfortunately, when a seven year old sings this song, he or she gets the impression that obedience is the best way to show that you believe. Thousands of Muslims show obedience and do not believe at all, because they are under the law. Most unsaved children interpret Sunday School lessons and songs as rules to keep. This has no saving effect whatsoever. Whoever is under the law and is obedient to law is cursed, because the scriptures say, Cursed is every one who continues not to do every thing written in the law. For the unsaved seven year old, obedience does not show that he believes. It only shows that something motivates him to obey, whether it be the Holy Spirit or the law of Moses. When a child gets stars for attending Sunday School every week, the impression that God is pleased with performance based Christianity begins to enter into every concept the child has about God. This is essentially keeping the law. The child is then being groomed to believe that carrying a Bible to church, wearing a suit, and perfect church attendance equals God's satisfaction. Scary! There is nothing saving about keeping manmade expectations of showing obedience. So the best way to show that you believe is just simply believe God and believe that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him! (Alan's comment on SFL's post on O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E).

ETA: And when I say bondage, I do mean bondage. Think about the words of the song.

Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe,
Doing exactly what the Lord commands, doing it happily,
Action is the key, do it immediately, joy you will receive,
Obedience is the very best way to show that you believe

We want to live pure, we want to live clean. We want to do our best.
Sweetly submitting to authority. Leaving to God the rest.
Walking in the Light, keeping our attitude right, on the narrow way...

eh, I forget the rest and probably didn't get that last line right either. But do you see it? Can you see what's lacking? It's all about doing... ME doing something. It's not about Him at all. I've nothing against kids doing the things sung about here, but why are they doing them?? Why do we as believers do what we do?? What's our motivation?? God doesn't need me to *do* for Him, or for Him to be happy with me. I am accepted in the Beloved. Period.

There's more that should be said here, but I'm searching for gracious words, LOL.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake

2009-08-18T16:27:00.004-04:00

Nothing says Happy Birthday like getting to make your own birthday cake. Seriously--it's been tradition in our house since I was a little girl that I got to make my own birthday cake (or at least decorate it). I used to pick those gaudy hard sugar decorations in a pack that you had to soak off the paper... then mom let me make my own cakes. Now I get to do the whole shebang from start to finish. This year?? Cheesecake!! Yum!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheesecake

Crust:
22 chocolate creme filled cookies, crushed
8 Tbsp butter, melted
3/4 cup peanuts, chopped fine

Mix together cookie crumbs and nuts, toss with melted butter. Lightly press into bottom of spring-form pan. Refrigerate until time to bake.

Filling:
24 oz. cream cheese, softened
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 Tbsp corn starch
1 cup sour cream
5 eggs
2 tsp Godiva chocolate liquor (or vanilla ;) )
2/3 cup whipping cream
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted
1 cup creamy peanut butter
2/3 cup peanuts, finely chopped

Directions:
Cream together cream cheese, sugar, sour cream, and corn starch until smooth. Beat in eggs one at a time, then stir in flavoring and whipping cream. Divide batter into two bowls. Melt chocolate chips and stir into one half, set aside. Stir peanut butter and chopped peanuts into remaining cream cheese batter.

Spread half of the peanut butter mixture over the crust. Pour half of chocolate mixture over peanut butter mix. Spoon in remaining peanut butter batter and top with last of chocolate mixture. Swirl with a knife blade to marble, being careful not to disturb the crust.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Turn oven down to 215 degrees and bake for an additional 1 hour and 30 minutes, or until center of cheesecake no longer looks wet (not necessarily until firm though). Turn off oven and remove cheesecake, run knife around inside of pan, return cheesecake to oven for 30 minutes. Chill, uncovered, overnight.

Adapted from Cheesecake Extraordinaire's Chocolate Peanut Butter cheesecake (pg. 42), and Peanut Butter Chocolate cheesecake (pg. 87).

On Men and Marriage for Father's Day weekend

2009-06-26T19:19:00.003-04:00

From Father's Day, a great post on gentlemen and being gentlemanly here.

As a resident of SC, I suppose I would be remiss if I didn't mention the current debacle in state government. Of course the governor's trip to the "Appalachian Trail" has been done to death in the media, late night talk shows, etc., etc. But just in case you aren't completely burned out on all things Mark Sanford, give this comment a read, from this article in the NYT.

Comment 104.

James

June 24th, 2009

3:28 pm

Convervatives, and religious conservatives in particular, have built up extramarital sex to mean everything. It affects their positions on abortion, on constitutional amendments against gay marriage, on birth control, on foreign aid for birth control, on sex education in public schools, on abstinence, on AIDS, on ordaining ministers, on funding Public Health departments, and even on the Supreme Court for goodness sakes. This is why an affair, while a deeply sad but relatively common event results in resignations and press frenzies like the one we just witnessed. As a liberal, I take no joy in watching someone's marriage, and now career, fail. I only hope that the focus is on the bigger picture the Republicans paint as a party, and why their base obsession with sex makes every one of those policy positions fasle, hollow, and hypocritical. Today's conference was a real man living in the real world honestly unburdening himself from an unsustainable weight of lies, both private and public.

Unity: Priceless

2009-06-25T05:17:00.004-04:00

Movable chairs in the sanctuary are NOT one step away from drums on the stage, really!!

So our church's annual meeting is this coming Sunday. The building program will be on the table again. My take on the issue is simple. Why spend $500,000 more to accommodate bad theology??

We're pursuing building a bigger building primarily because we need more space for fellowships times/shared meals, etc. Times when the entire church body needs to be sitting around tables (and eating, LOL). But why can't we make better use of the space we already have? We do have fellowship hall space already (classrooms with folding walls that we rearrange for dinner each Sunday afternoon over ht summer), it's just not quite big enough for our current attendance levels.

Last summer someone asked if we could run a couple extra tables up the center aisle of the sanctuary to relieve the space crunch inside (in air-conditioning--we do also set up some tables outside, but when it's in the 90's and the humidity is 70% and higher, it's just nasty out there). "But why would we want to ruin the carpet in the sanctuary too?" was the immediate question raised (by a teenager, no less). In a sense I understand the concern, (especially since their family is a major part of our church's janitorial service, (although the tone wasn't a self-serving one), we ought to take the best care we can of the facilities we have. But really, that's just bad theology.

People are the body of Christ. The building is just a tool. If the purpose of the church is to edify and equip the saints, how does having a dedicated "holy" sanctuary help accomplish that end?? We're looking at spending half a million dollars to prop up your bad theology? Really??

We *could* solve our space issues for a lot less money by ripping out the pews and getting those wicked cool chairs instead. Make our current sanctuary space more multi-purpose. But I doubt it'll happen anytime soon. Too many of the "old-guard" (though not necessarily old in years) still view the sanctuary as that "special place" where voices may not be raised, little feet may not run, and food shall absolutely never be consumed (other than the elements of the Lord's table, of course, LOL).

Several years ago we were looking at a similar building project. I happened across a great little book titled "When NOT to Build" written by an architect. He included his testimony in the beginning of the book--since it seems kinda odd for an architect to be advising against building, LOL. His opening point was that too often we jump to building bigger buildings (and spend the Lord's money) before we need to, before we've made effective use of the space we already have (good stewardship anyone?). He goes on to outline how churches in that uncomfortable "almost too full but not quite" stage of growth could make more efficient use of their existing space until the need for building is real, not just perceived. :-) Great little book, highly recommended reading.

So... what to do?? Spend WAY more $$ than we need to to prop up bad theology? Maybe we should. What price can you put on unity??

***UPDATE***

So we had our annual business meeting before I could get this posted, LOL. After a fair amount of discussion, we voted to table the "chairs instead of pews" discussion for exactly a month. Give folks who heard the proposal for the first time today to get their theology up to speed, LOL. Most cogent dissent? "Might there be a change in spirit with a (slightly) less formal setting?" and "Could we have a bit of time to think and pray about this?" ('Not necessarily' and 'yes' being the answers.)

Happy little dragons

2009-06-24T19:05:00.000-04:00

Yep, she likes him! Want proof?? Incredibly enough, this picture wasn't posed.

BD#2 had been snuggled in the recliner with the baby and I (since I had the audacity to refuse to give her the "big rocking chair" all to herself, LOL). I had to vacate the room for a second, so I asked BD#2 if I could leave BD#3 beside her "just for a minute." When I came back, this is what I found. :-)

Awwww...

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T18:03:00.000-04:00

Slugs, slugs, and more slugs

2009-06-19T16:07:00.003-04:00

It started with one slug being held captive til the kids got to see a house-less snail. Then there were two slugs. Then there were six. By the time I finished collecting slugs (all out of our kitchen mind you), I had developed a regular slug condo--two tenants per unit. I should go into real estate, ROFL. *not*

Today (finally, it's Friday!) we decided to practice our catch and release skills. One last look at those slug "housing units" before the older kids helped evict the slugs.

Free at last, free at last. Here are two of our (former) tenants.

(And yes, we *did* wash our hands when we got back inside, thankyouverymuch!)

Thus ends our week-in-review.

Jay, Jon, and Jerry-rigging--Installment 2

2009-06-19T04:15:00.008-04:00

To continue from where we left off in the recap of this very long week…

Thursday was a good news/bad news kind of day. Bad news: need to tear up the kitchen so dw guy can get to the motor on the dishwasher. Good news: Kitchen is easy to tear up, LOL. Bad news... oh, it's just too funny to tell in bullets, so I'm switching to paragraphs. Go get your coffee... ;-)

See, when we bought this house, the guy who sold it to us left us very explicit instructions about the eventuality of the dishwasher needing servicing. "Don't let anyone tell you the counter needs to be cut up to get to the dishwasher for servicing it," he said. "You can pull it straight out. All you have to do is 1) Unscrew that piece of floor moulding. 2) Pull back the linoleum--it's the flexible kind. 3) Pull up the piece of plywood directly in front of the dishwasher--it's only held in by one screw right in the middle." Sounds easy enough, right? I should be able to do this while the kids take their afternoon naps, right??

One flat-head screwdriver, 2 Phillips-head screwdrivers, a hammer, a box-cutter, a chisel, a putty knife, and almost two hours later... the dishwasher was fully accessible. No, really! It went something like this:

Move the microwave stand so you can move the stove (with a boiling pot of soup on it) so you can get more room to work in front of the dishwasher. (Besides, the second screw in the moulding was just behind the edge of the stove, so the stove had to move anyway.)

Pry off said moulding.
Start pulling up the linoleum.
Realize there's not enough space open to pull back the flooring far enough to clear that plywood that had to come out.
Move the stove further over.
Pull up the flooring the rest of the way.
See one screw head, kinda filled with spackling.
Get the box cutter out to clean out the Phillips-head screw head.
Get the screw head clean enough for the screwdriver to get a grip.
Plywood pops up a bit in that corner when the screw comes out... so far so good.

Spend next 20 minutes or so breaking up the spackling that had been driven into the cracks around that piece of plywood. The spackling on the plywood was a nice idea--smoother foundation for the flooring--but it pretty effectively sealed up things that I needed NOT sealed.

Chisel and putty knife came in handy--got all the borders of the plywood free of spackling but the board still wasn't interested in coming out. Hmmm... How was I supposed to get out a 1/2" thick sheet of plywood so tightly wedged in that a putty knife wouldn't fit between it and the sub-flooring next to it (much less anything sturdy enough to lever up the board with)?!? The one spot where I could get a hold on the board was under the face of the cabinet with only about 1" clearance--not enough to really get a good hold, LOL.

Spent another 30 minutes or so messing around with the claw-hammer, flat-head screwdriver, and the chisel trying to pry up the board. FINALLY got enough leverage in the right spots to slip the chisel under one side of the board. Alternating between the putty knife & the chisel, worked down one side of that board til almost one whole side was raised, but *still* couldn't get it to come out. Seemed like the board might have been glued down. He *did* say ONE screw, right?? Got to wondering (since that one screw head had spackling in it), what if there are more screws I can't see?? ..... ...... .....

There wasn't one screw in that piece of plywood, there were FOUR!!! And the last 3 had been so thoroughly spackled over that I didn't know they were there for the first 50 minutes I was working on it. *Smiles rather sarcastically*

Got out the last 3 screws 15 minutes before the dw guy was to show up. Yeah--there was a point to this exercise, and it wasn't supposed to be just to tear up the kitchen, LOL. Had a good laugh with DH and the dw guy about the lengths it took to get access to the dishwasher, then wandered off to let the dw guy work in peace.

An hour and a half later the dishwasher was up and running again. Jay says "so does it sound any quieter to you?" Me (thinking it still sounds like a freight train but not wanting to insult him since he'd been working for almost 2 hours & hadn't been planning to charge any labor): "Um... are you... kidding?" Jay:"Well, sort of. I had to put the old motor back in it." Apparently Whirlpool did some major reconfiguration of the innards of our dishwasher... and the slightly used motor would NOT go in our dishwasher--no way, no how. There wasn't even any way to co-mingle parts from both motors to make a new one--he tried. Nothing, NOTHING was interchangeable. Bless his heart, all that work...

So we're almost back to square one. At least the dishwasher is running again, albeit loudly as ever. And I now know there are 4 screws, not just one, LOL.

So yeah........ it's been a week. And it's not over yet. The slugs are still at it... but that's another post for another day--or at least after a couple hours of sleep! ;-)

Word of the day: Jerry-rigging. I've always loved that phrase. :-) Are you allowed to call one hyphenated word a phrase?? Anyway, having grown up in rental properties built by that man named Jack while riding in cars held together with baling wire (think duck tape on steroids), I learned early how to jerry-rig things. (It was the sections on gears and mechanics that garnered my high score on the ASVAB in high school, not that girly secretarial stuff, LOL.) Watching the ending of Foley's War on PBS Sunday night got me thinking about the entomology of the term Jerry-rigging, since the Brits called the Germans "Jerrys" during WWII, and wondering if there was any correlation. Did the term jerry-rig come about because the Germans (Jerrys) rigged up booby-traps?? Good old Wiki to the rescue... I love the Internet. I want my big computer back.

Jay, Jon, and Jerry-rigging--Installment 1

2009-06-19T02:45:00.011-04:00

It's been a loooooooooooooooooooooooong week!!!

Recap:

Sunday we all stayed home because DH had what appeared to be a sudden-onset sinus infection and had gotten maybe 3 hours of sleep Saturday night. I had been up late (early) too, and was just too tired to handle the logistics of two pre-schoolers and a nursing baby on "summer schedule" at church by myself. 10am to 2pm in one stretch is too long when I'd be outnumbered 3 to 1, LOL. Watched one of the last episodes of Foley's War on PBS (more on that later).

Monday the kids (BD#'s 1&2) killed our big computer. Just a simple thing--poking the on/off button to watch all the pretty red and green lights flash & the fans whirr... but they cycled it just right and scrambled something that ought not be scrambled apparently, b/c the computer just would NOT load Windows after that. *sigh*

Tuesday morning started with the dishwasher on the blink again. Probably just a blown fuse in the instrument panel, so I called our dishwasher guy. (Yes, we have a dishwasher guy!) He said he'd come check on it after work. Figured I ought to mention to him that it's been making a horrible noise these last few months. Not the "hard food in the grinder" noise, but the "motor starting to seize" noise. He said he'd check it out. Bless his heart.

Tuesday afternoon found out that the big computer might be *really* dead. Apparently cycling the on/off button like the kids had been doing can actually cause hard drive failure. I do hope not!! Per our computer guy's instruction (yeah, we have a computer guy too!), tried starting it in Safe Mode... but it hung on the driver for the motherboard. I'm getting a mother of a head-ache.

Tuesday night the dishwasher guy came by, took it all apart... nothing caught in the drain to explain the noise. Bypassed the fuse (this is the second time it's blown for no reason), ran the machine. Yep--that's the motor going. Good news is the dishwasher still runs & may for a good while yet. Bad news, it really does sound like a freight train in the kitchen. SO he offered to look for a (slightly) used replacement motor for it. (Bless him again.)

Wednesday the computer got dropped off at our computer guy's house for triage and the dishwasher guy called to say he'd found a replacement motor we could have installed for $50 (new ones for our model run around $170). Did I mention we like our dishwasher guy?? :-)

Thursday was a good news/bad news kind of day. Good news: the computer is up and running, just a couple of corrupted FAT files. Bad news: need to tear up the kitchen so dw guy can get to the motor. Good news: Kitchen is easy to tear up, LOL. Bad news... oh, it's just too funny to tell in bullets, so it's gonna take a while....

(to be continued here)

Of Slugs and Smiles

2009-06-11T23:59:00.009-04:00

No, no one got slugged and smiled about it, LOL.

We now have house pets, 4 to be precise. Slugs! Found one last night crawling up the front of the dishwasher. Put it in a little plastic tub to show the kids when they got up this morning. Busy day today, forgot to show them the slug til this afternoon, apparently during it's nap. Momma forgot that slugs are semi-nocturnal. Oh well.

Power went out about 30 minutes after we let the slug out to play and stayed off, so back into it's little plastic prison the slug went. We went out for supper (left-overs don't re-heat well with no electricity) and a Wal-Mart run, and when we came back found 3 more slugs in the kitchen! These ones were behind the stove and on the floor between the stove and the dishwasher. *Insert eye roll here!* Got out another little lidded plastic tub, added one slug to the first tub and dropped the 3rd and 4th ones into the second tub. Now we have a slug condo on our dining room table, and the kids are thrilled that they don't have to share, LOL

On a cuter (but no less slimy) note, BD#3 cut his first tooth Wednesday. Since when do 5 month olds weigh 18 lbs and cut teeth?? He's as happy as ever. Sleeping about 9 hours at night on average, and charming everyone he meets. The older two get the biggest kick out of making him giggle. One day (when I figure out posting videos to YouTube or some such video hosting service) I'll let you hear him. But for now, knowing it's been forever and a day since I last posted, here are a few pictures. Enjoy!!

How's that for a drool string??

The tooth behind all the excess drool. (No, the slugs had nothing to do with his drool, LOL.) See that little sliver of white?? It's sharp!

Just because you needed a smile today! :-)

Worth Reading

2009-06-08T03:48:00.003-04:00

Nope, still haven't answered that e-mail yet. Been doing some reading though, and have a couple recommendations for you.

Pathological Spirituality
BlogLords and Ham
On Separation

Hard to believe it's been 65 years this weekend since D-Day...

ST vs BT & children

2009-05-07T03:26:00.005-04:00

In relation to both the Vipers in Diapers, and Is God Love? posts (and tangentially Ezzo pt 1&2)... I'm wondering....

Where ST is systematic theology (looking at everything the Scriptures have to say on a particular topic) and where BT is biblical theology (looking more at the over-arching themes and framework of Scripture)...

Are we so hung up on our ST of "man born as a sinner" that we miss the bigger over-arching BT of man created in God's image, children called blessings, and little ones *never* denigrated in Scriptures? Is our emphasis not wrong? When in fact God uses the pictures of a woman nursing a child to describe His love for Israel (Can a woman forget her suckling child?--By implication NO, Of course not! Don't be silly!!).

Yes, we are born with a sinful nature, but to make that the focus of our "relationship" with our infants and toddlers..... speaks more to our need for control and self-vindication than it does to our children's need of a Savior.

Hence the growing interest in Reformed theology.. or at least in a more covenantal view of family/children. Thinking... and getting more disturbed with the teaching of some popular "godly parenting" gurus out there.
*coughs* Ezzo *coughs*

Is God love?

2009-04-25T03:23:00.005-04:00

Really??

Does the "love chapter" of 1 Cor 13 apply to God? If He is love (and He is), can't these characteristics of love described there also be applied to God?? He is patient, kind, long-suffering, keeps no account of wrongs.... keeps no account of wrongs. When I come to Him today, confessing that same old sin that I confessed yesterday, does He really say "What sin?" In the words of that song "What sin? What sin? Well that's as far away as the east is from the west. What sin? What sin? It was gone the very minute you confessed, buried in the sea of forgetfulness..."

If God loves us (and He does) and if He doesn't hold our sins against us (and He doesn't), then why do we hold on so tightly to those little annoying "sins against us" that our kids do? Why do we keep score? If God doesn't keep a record of our wrongs (and He doesn't), who are we to hold our children to a standard that God doesn't hold us to?? Why do we insist on instant obedience through fear of reprisals? Perfect love casts out fear... or so 1 John 4:18 says.

Good reading

2009-04-22T17:03:00.003-04:00

In the process of avoiding answering an e-mail that's fast becoming an elephant in the corner (with our associate pastor about grace & it's definition), I've come across several really good and timely blog posts. Enjoy!! :-)

KatieKind with a reprint on parenting
TulipGirl with a quote on resting
Camille on Sola Gracia
and Wendy with more thoughts on grace

There's a not-so-subtle theme linking these....... LOL.

The Irony of Ezzo and AP, Part 2

2009-04-21T04:45:00.005-04:00

While we were expecting BD#2, I ran across EzzoInfo online. The volume and diversity of information on that website was simply overwhelming. Read a bit, rolled my eyes. [How could a parent be so lacking in common sense as to follow Ezzo's suggestions for feeding schedule so rigidly that they wound up with a baby failing to thrive? How?!?!]

Read some more, more eye rolls. [These horror stories of Ezzo parents gone overboard must have been what BD#1's nurse was thinking of when she strongly suggested we NOT try to schedule-feed our newborn. Never mind that he was less than two days old--I wasn't trying to schedule anything that early--Honest!! She must've known (knowing our educational and theological background as she did) that Ezzo would have been on our radar so she attempted a preemptive strike.]

The irony that I found EzzoInfo while looking for the source of an aberrant definition of *grace* is just HUGE to me now; but when I first found EzzoInfo I was mentally consumed with the grace question, so I didn't give the Ezzo issue much thought beyond a couple nights worth of heavy reading. But I tucked away a few questions, and they kept coming up for air. You know how it is when you're pregnant... you get insomnia, your mind wanders, you wonder about things.

So when BD#2 came along and *shock and horrors* did NOT want to sleep by herself, I was at least primed to consider other (non-Ezzo approved) options. :-D Nothing so radical as becoming a full-fledged AP mom mind you ;-) but... more nights than not she fell asleep next to me in bed. She simply would NOT fall asleep by herself. And you know what?? It wasn't that big of a deal. I quickly figured out the only way to get her to go to sleep and stay asleep was to bring her to bed with me for the first part of her night. That way she fell asleep happy that she had her momma, and *we* were happy that she was sleeping (and yes, therefore quiet so we could sleep too, LOL). "Co-sleeping" worked. Definitely not in line with Babywise mandates but we . were . getting . sleep . ALL of us!! :-) Once she was soundly sleeping, I could easily move her to that dreaded bassinet where she slept just fine until time to eat again. No need to keep her in bed with us all night--just til she was asleep. And I thought to myself--is this what Ezzo was railing against?? This???

And so my questions about Ezzo's ideals grew. See, one of the other things I'd read about Ezzo and his child-rearing methodology was how it sets parents up for an adversarial relationship with their young children. [What if the baby doesn't want to go to sleep my herself? Make her do it anyway! Don't parent on emotion and instinct!!] Um... yeah! Add to that the basic selfishness of putting my needs above those of my newborn. Ezzo teaches that the relationship between mom and dad is the most important one, so the children must not be allowed to interfere with it. Good idea in principle. How to play that out in practical terms with a helpless newborn in arms is another story. :-)

Yes, they are helpless. Yes, they do have needs. No, their crying is NOT a form of "manipulation." They're trying to communicate their needs to you. (And if you had half an ounce of common sense you'd realize that denying the baby's need (for comfort) is a really really baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.)

So Ezzo's BabyWise didn't come off the bookshelf after BD#2's arrival... [well, maybe to check a couple of things from EzzoInfo--make sure they weren't misrepresenting what they said about his "methods"--(they weren't).] And I have to say, I think those early weeks of our relationship with BD#2 were the better for it.

To be continued...

But first, once again, here are a few links from others if you're interested in more information on Ezzo...

From the horses mouth:
Growing Kids God's Way
EzzoTruth

From those who jumped off the wagon:
Jenn's story
TulipGirl's files
ChewyMom's files
KatieKind's files
Camille's adventures becoming an attachment mom and her research on Ezzo.

Deconstructing the wagon:
AwareParent
EzzoInfo
MommyLife

Music for the soul

2009-03-28T02:50:00.010-04:00

Had the privilege of hearing Chanticleer again Thursday night at The Porter Center of Brevard College. Nice foggy trip over the mountains to get there... kinda like that 13 mile stretch of the Blue Ridge Parkway the night before our wedding, LOL.

Their program this time was titled Wondrous Free and (understatement alert) "demonstrates the diversity of song in America." Though most of the pieces in the program were in English, spanning several hundred years brought in quite a range of styles--from spirituals and fuging tunes to madrigals by P.D.Q. Bach. Most interesting modern piece was The Homecoming, a poem written by John Stirling Walker in 2003 and set to music by David Conte. Haunting, though-provoking... Program notes can be found on-line here and include the text of The Homecoming.

For those of you who haven't heard Chanticleer before, following is their rendition of Shenandoah. This video doesn't do hold a candle to hearing it live, front -n- center in the third row as we did Thursday night, but it'll have to do. ;-)

Chanticleer is currently on a brief tour up and down the Eastern seaboard. If you're anywhere near New Canaan CT, Richmond VA, Morrow GA, Huntsville AL..... Get tickets and GO HEAR THEM!!!

From their most recent CD...

Absolutely incredible. Breath-taking live. Especially from the third row. Did I mention that we were dead-center in the 3rd row?? :-D I really need to track down the gal from the Porter Center's box office & hug her.

I am a happy woman. Nothing like beautiful music performed with excellence to lift the spirits!!

Of Copperheads, Crayfish, and Creosote

2009-03-19T23:14:00.001-04:00

Yeah, it was an interesting day!! :-)

Copperheads:
The cat brought us a small (freshly-killed) snake with "suspicious" markings. It looks like the same kind of snake we had around last fall that my neighbor said was a baby copperhead, so I've done some research (gotta love the Internet)! It's actually a brown snake. Non-poisonous. Yeah for that!!

In the midst of researching what kind of snake we had, found out juvenile copperheads have bright lemon yellow tails for the first years of their lives--easy to spot & tell-tail (pun intended, sorry!) sign that they're dangerous. This snake is the size of a juvenile copper, but is actually full grown. No snakes in this area bear young so early in the season anyway. Should've known it couldn't have been a juv. copperhead, but now at least I have proof. :-)

Crayfish:
Went down to get the mail today and heard something rustling in the leaves in the ditch. Something red... moving... probably just a big beetle. Hmmm... Having never seen a beetle big enough to make *that* much noise, decided to track the sound. What the...??? It looks like a baby lobster!! OK, so I know there are crayfish native to SC, but I've sure as heck never seen one in the wild! But there it was.

I wish like anything I had had my camera with me, but who carries their camera to the mailbox every day just in case they see a cray-fish?? LOL I'd have gone up to the house, gotten the camera and come back for a picture--if for no other reason than to reassure myself that I wasn't hallucinating--but our mail box is kinda precariously perched on the side of the road above the ditch... and the baby was howling... and the older two were up to no good when I got back to the house, so I have no photographic proof to offer. But I swear... it was a baby lobster, LOL.

And just in case the day wasn't weird enough...

Creosote:
Our neighbors like burning things. Today it was a pyre of creosote soaked railroad ties with kindling of Styrofoam... oh, and a good dousing of lighter fluid for good measure. Glad none of the kids are asthmatic!! Sheesh!

Background:
The neighbors are feuding. Boy and girl grow up across the street from each other. Get married, have kids. Things go sour--really sour. They separate. BUT both sets of in-laws still live across the street from each other. (We live next door to the nice ones.) The other in-laws (kitty-corner across the street from us) are the ones who like to burn things in their yard.... But only on really dry, really windy days. Like "no rain in the forecast for a week and the flag flies straight out" dry and windy days. And only when said wind is blowing toward us (and their son's ex-in-laws) across the street. *Eye roll*

Now in fairness, I wouldn't burn when the wind were blowing toward my house either, and usually they burn a lot closer to their house. (As they're on a couple of cleared acres, it's not like they don't have the room.) But come on! Today's pyre got built right in the corner of their property nearest to the ex-laws. *sigh*

It would be laughable if it didn't smell so bad! ;-) I can't tell you how many days these past 2 summers I've had the lines full of clothes & had to go bring them in lest they smell like burning...whatever the neighbors decide to burn that day. At least the road will make a natural fire-break...

:-)

2009-03-07T23:14:00.005-05:00

The youngest baby dragon gave me his first smile right after his one month check-up last month. Probably he was just expressing graitude that he didn't have to get shots, LOL. But since then he's been getting better at returning smiles, and finally this week will hold one long enough for the camera to catch him in the act. Not bad for 8 weeks & 13 lbs!!!

Cute eh?? :-)

Vipers in Diapers?

2009-03-04T17:30:00.013-05:00

I used to say I'm lucky, but I really don't think it's luck. Babies are hard-wired to communicate their needs. Specifically. Like BD#1's cry changing tone and timbre during those diaper changes right before the middle-of-the-night feedings. First it was his "Momma, I'm dirty" cry. Once that diaper was fresh & dry though--even before you could get his PJ's snapped back up--it was very clearly "Momma, I'm HUNGRY--FEED ME NOW!" LOL.

What has me ranting about babies and their God-given ability of communicating their needs??

Just a recent comment made from the pulpit about children, and how utterly sinful they are. (Yes, I know, we're all born with a sinful nature, and a bent toward "our own way" as Isaiah put it.) But the comment was (1.) made by a young guy with no children (2.) in that tone that implied "children are bent on destroying everything good around them and controlling/manipulating everyone/everything they can--don't let them!!!" or what I like to call the children are merely "vipers in diapers" attitude. And it bugs me, badly. Made me want to ask him if he'd been reading up in Ezzo's Babywise already. 'Cause BabyWise does that a LOT. Implying there's a need to differentiate between a baby crying to present a need and some OTHER kind of crying--to manipulate their authorities or demand attention? Who looks at infants that way??

As KatieKind put it in her comment on parenting toddlers--equally applicable to parents of the very young as well--"If they could simply tell you, "Don't listen to me, I know I'm being irrational about this, I'm totally exhausted and not thinking straight" like a girlfriend would, things would be different." But they can't. And I'm afraid this attitude... this assumption that babies are hell-bent on manipulation and control of their parents from their very youngest days... is doing great damage to relationships between parents and children in the Church.

Where in Scripture are children EVER referred to in such a denigrating way? From Isaiah's "can a woman forget her nursing child?" to Jesus' "suffer the little children and forbid them not," I'm not finding a Biblical defense for this prevalent attitude toward children--anybodys children--but especially not children of believers. If the unbelieving spouse is sanctified by the believing (I Cor. 7:14), how much more their children?

And don't get me started on the Pearl's. From the introduction of Pearl's To Train Up A Child: These truths are not new, deep insights from the professional world of research, but rather, the same principles the Amish use to train their stubborn mules, the same technique God uses to train His children. Um... really?? God trains us like the Amish train their mules? Really?? My Bible says He knows our frame and remembers that we are but dust. And the verses before and after that?? Psalm 103:8-18...

The LORD [is] merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep [his anger] for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, [so] great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, [so] far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth [his] children, [so] the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we [are] dust. [As for] man, his days [are] as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more. But the mercy of the LORD [is] from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children; To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.

In short, God doesn't view us as "vipers in diapers" so why should we allow our children to be viewed this way?

What do we do with vipers? Off with their heads!!
What ought we to do with our children? Love, train, nurture. Even when they cry. :-)

In the words of Barbara Curtis (found here): "Why ... worry so much about parents being ruled by their babies? Why even choose that framework? When I cry out and God meets my needs, is He being ruled by me?" Worth thinking on, yes?

And a fantastic series on grace in parenting by ThatMom, the latest installment of which is found here.

The Irony of Ezzo and AP, Part 1

2009-03-03T22:04:00.025-05:00

Back before we had BD#1, a few of the young mothers at church read Gary Ezzo's On Becoming Babywise. I think someones friend gave one gal a copy & she mentioned it to a couple others of us. It was a casual mention--definitely not a church-sponsored Growing Kids God's Way class or anything like that. I know at least one mom or two of the moms used the ideas from Ezzo's book with reasonable success. I was intrigued enough with their comments about BabyWise that sometime during my pregnancy with BD#1, I picked up a copy of Ezzo's book & skimmed it.

His presentation was straight-forward enough, though perhaps a bit over-bearing (to the point of obnoxious) and derisive of anyone who didn't see things his way. Obviously there was no love lost for those poor deluded attachment parents with their constantly interrupted sleep and chaotic child-centered child-dominated lives. But his presentation of his own ideas sounded reasonable enough... We're all happier with predictability and routines, right?! Therefore:

Work the baby into your schedule instead of rearranging your entire life around the baby--baby will feel more secure that way.

Get baby into an eating schedule as soon as you can (starting 2 weeks after birth)

Be aware of (and take steps to promote) baby getting full sleep cycles rather than cat-naps

Feeding baby at regularly spaced intervals will help regulate baby's metabolic processes which in turn help baby sleep through the night sooner than demand fed babies (because your baby will get full meals instead of snacking, therefore less waking during the night from hunger.

Eat-play-sleep routines (rather than play-eat-sleep) will lessen the likelihood of baby being nursed to sleep which in turn cuts out the lay-sleeping-baby-down and tip-toe out of the room with-fingers-crossed exercise.

Put baby down to bed while awake--teaches baby to fall asleep alone rather than with "sleep aids" and eliminates that dreaded tip-toe routine.

Having done my fair share of baby-sitting as a teenager, I was a bit too familiar with the rock-baby-to-sleep and lay baby down only to have him or her wake up howling to be held again. As annoying as that was to me as a teen-aged baby-sitter, I couldn't imagine having to go through that routine every night for a year or so with each kid we might have. No thanks!! Plus, the concept of attachment parenting, co-sleeping, etc., was one I was NOT interested in. No way, no how. My bed is MINE thankyouverymuch!

Ezzo's ideas all sounded reasonable enough to this order-loving first-timer, but we had child-birth classes to take and furniture to re-arrange so I didn't put too much more thought into the book or Ezzo's ideas until after BD#1's arrival. Once BD#1 was in arms instead of in vitro I had no mental energy to re-read anything. All I could remember was Ezzo's claim that an eat-play-sleep routine would be best for all of us, so off we went. And it worked. Really. It worked.

A bit too well, in fact. He slept so well on is own early on that he never learned the art of falling asleep outside of his crib. So when Memere came to visit, snuggling baby to sleep was a no-go. (Partly because I was a new momma and insisted on trying to keep baby on his "routine" (bag over head--Sorry Mom!!!) But once he aged past that wonderful snuggly newborn phase (hastened I'm sure by my insistence that he sleep in his crib at all naps & nighttime), he absolutely would NOT fall asleep anywhere outside of his crib.

SO... word of warning to those who think not rocking a baby to sleep every night will bring you freedom--it won't!! You'll have to be home by the baby's bedtime--every time, 'cause he won't fall asleep anywhere else. And to this day (almost 4 years later) it's still true. Bed ='s sleep. Therefore, no bed ='s no sleep.

To be continued...

Couple of links from others if you're interested in more information on Ezzo...

From the horses mouth:
Growing Kids God's Way
EzzoTruth

From those who jumped off the wagon:
Jenn's story
TulipGirl's files
ChewyMom's files
KatieKind's files
Camille's adventures becoming an attachment mom and her research on Ezzo.

Deconstructing the wagon:
AwareParent
EzzoInfo
MommyLife

We're here...

2009-02-26T00:05:00.004-05:00

...no, really! We're here. Sorry for the lack of posts. Good thing I don't have a regular readership to miss me, eh?! We really are doing well. It's just that when I have brain power to think there are no hands free and something is WAY over-due to be done. (As in, it would be nice to sit down to supper before 8pm on any given weeknight.) By the time I have time and hands free at the same time to blog, I'd rather sleep. But since I'm here, I'll update. :-)

All is well. BD#3 is fitting into life here quite nicely. Up almost 4 lbs in his first 6 weeks--can you say good eater?! The older two are adjusting nicely to the newest dragon. Hopefully he doesn't mind being "petted" on the head, LOL.

The transition from 2 to 3 children has definitely been easier than from 1 to 2. Don't know why, it just has. Yeah for that! The fact that he's sleeping at least one 6 hour block at night (with an occasional 7-9 hour night tossed in for fun) has been a HUGE help. I think I'm getting more sleep now than I have in recent years.

Speaking of sleep..... Bye!!

Merry Christmas '08

2009-01-15T23:43:00.002-05:00

OK, so this year's "Christmas" letter was a little late going out. Blame me--waiting to get a picture of the new baby to send. Not my fault the little stinker waited til January to make his appearance! LOL Anyway...

Dear Family & Friends,

“And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.” -- Luke 2:7-11

“Hail the heaven-born Prince of Peace! Hail the Sun of Righteousness! Light and life to all He brings, Risen with healing in His wings. Mild He lays His glory by, Born that man no more may die; Born to raise the sons of earth, Born to give them second birth.” – Charles Wesley

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! May the good news sung by angels more than two millennia ago bring joy and peace to your hearts today. For though Christ did lay His glory by to be born in a manger, He is nevertheless the Prince of Peace and the Son of Righteousness. And though more than twenty centuries have passed since the very first Christmas, He still brings light and life and still gives men the second birth (John 3). So as we enjoy the Christmas season this year may we consider afresh and anew Christ the Savior: the snow might remind us of His sinless purity, Christmas lights might bring to mind that He is the Light victorious over all darkness, Christmas trees might cause us to consider His sacrifice on the cruel tree on Calvary, and exchanging gifts might muster our thoughts to ponder His gift of eternal life. Do our traditions magnify the Reason for the season, or do they insulate our celebrations from Him?

Our family has much to celebrate and thank our Lord for as we reflect on 2008 and the beginning of 2009. Also, it is with our deepest gratitude that we wish to express our thanks to each of you. Whether through prayers or by generous gifts or in offering encouraging words, your love and help have been vital to us throughout the most trying year our family has ever faced. Yet, by God’s grace, we look forward to 2009 having grown in our walk with Him and having grown as a family. We rejoice to introduce to you Daniel Earle, who was born on January 9th at 11:56pm. He weighed in at an even 9 lbs. and was 22 inches long at birth. Although Daniel’s birth was not at all as we planned, we thank the Lord that He blessed us with our third child safely and soundly.

Quick update, then sleep... maybe!

2009-01-11T00:37:00.004-05:00

Thanks for all of your prayers. The Lord certainly answered! Wound up at the hospital for an induction Friday evening. Then:

Daniel Earle (after his grandpas); 11:56pm on Friday, January 9th; 9 lbs. even; 22" long.

*Completely* uneventful--well, OK, uneventful other than that unplanned water birth (which was against hospital policy, LOL)-- 4 & 1/2 hour labor & delivery (breaking my water did the trick). Baby did beautifully!! Scored 9 & 9 on his Apgars. We're (rather jokingly) talking of calling him "the niner."

Were able to escape for home with him Saturday afternoon. Here's a quick picture of his older siblings checking him out. :-)

Going for an induction!!! Yeah Rah!! /end sarcasm

2009-01-09T17:58:00.001-05:00

Had the bio-physical profile ultrasound done this morning. Scored a 4 of 8 or 6 of 8 depending... Of course the baby was napping through the entire procedure and so refused to "practice breathing" or give any "large-motor" movements (which were two of the strikes against the score). And (to add insult to injury) naturally my blood sugar was crashing during the ultrasound; that didn't help baby's inclination to be active. *rolls eyes* Estimated fetal weight is around 10 1/2 lbs--I'll believe that when we see it, LOL. *My* biggest concern is the report of low amniotic fluid---especially since I've been drinking like a fish for the last couple of days. Oh well. :-)

So... off to the hospital we go. Dr is going to try breaking my water first, then waiting a couple hours at least to see if we can get labor going without going the pit. route. One of my midwives is coming along for the ride, bless her heart. I'm thinking gravity feed will work on this little one, as I've never been able to sustain any kind of contractions once I lay down.....

We would appreciate your prayers for the Lord's wisdom and direction for us and protection for the baby. Will keep y'all posted.

Update... no baby though!

2009-01-08T13:23:00.003-05:00

Realizing I should have put this up yesterday, Sorry! We wound up with the bio-physical profile (ultrasound) being scheduled for Friday morning (tomorrow) after all. Apparently the office is open half-days or something. So "we" have another day to persuade baby to come, ROFL. This child is my child--beyond persuasion. But in the Lord's good timing.... we WILL have this baby. In the mean time, I am tanking up on fluids before that ultrasound tomorrow. :-)

I suppose I should clarify why we're done with flipping out over the baby being "so far" post-dates. The baby isn't really way post dates. :-) I had two due dates. Dec 13th by traditional LMP dating methods, and Dec 30th--adjusted for a number of reasons. Sat down with my midwife and ran through all those reasons again on Tuesday--just to reassure ourselves that we're not nuts to continue waiting on this little one to make an appearance.

1. I run LONG cycles... almost twice "normal" length. Run the figures by my "normal" and you get Dec. 30th. Not that my OB is necessarily convinced, LOL.

2. We did NOT get fetal heart tones at 11 weeks (typically you would have no problem getting them by 10 weeks---if your dates are right, therefore see #1).

3. We did get fetal heart tones at my 15 week appt--with my regular OB--but fundal height was only 7!! Kinda low for "15 weeks," eh?! (Again, see #1.)

Toss in a couple other things like that (when I started feeling the baby regularly, etc.) and we've got pretty unassailable evidence that this little one was just NOT due mid-December.

So there, quit worrying!! The wee one is just more stubborn than we are, and is determined to stay "in" until we've given up on him, LOL. (Generic him, not gender-specific him, BTW). We will get a post up when we do finally have anything to report about the baby dragon's arrival.

Until then (since everything baby-prep home-birthing related has been done for a month now) I may just have to finish the rant I started here. About child-birth classes & fun controversial stuff like that. And maybe a birth story or two. Have to give the older two their time in print too, right?? :-)

Prayers appreciated...

2009-01-06T01:14:00.002-05:00

Nope, no baby news yet. But I do have a prayer request for you all along those lines. :-)

We're currently working on scheduling an ultrasound for Thursday (because my favorite fetal-maternal specialist doesn't do appts. on Fridays--The nerve!). There's nothing going on symptomatically that gives me any cause for concern, we just want to make sure things are still in good order with the baby. We had good reason to adjust my due date to the 30th of December, I'd just like to have the baby HERE NOW, or make sure there's nothing going on that shouldn't be.

Now.... I would be thrilled if the baby should come before that ultrasound. SO, if you feel so led, I would greatly appreciate your prayers that if this home birth be the Lord's will, the baby will come before Thursday. If however, there is something we need to know (that the ultrasound could actually tell us!) regarding this baby; well then, we'd rather the Lord keeps the baby waiting. :-)

And we'll not get into what will likely be running through my head if the baby isn't here by that appointment!!

Prayer Request

2009-01-05T23:54:00.001-05:00

Nope, no baby news yet. But I do have a prayer request for you all along those lines. :-)

We're currently working on scheduling an ultrasound for Thursday (because my favorite fetal-maternal specialist doesn't do appts. on Fridays--The nerve!). There's nothing going on symptomatically that gives me any cause for concern, we just want to make sure things are still in good order with the baby.

Now.... I would be thrilled if the baby should come before that ultrasound. SO, if you feel so led, I would greatly appreciate your prayers that if this home birth be the Lord's will, the baby will come before Thursday. If however, there is something we need to know (that the ultrasound could actually tell us!) regarding this baby; well then, we'd rather the Lord keeps the baby waiting. :-)

Thank you all for your love, prayers, and support!!

42

2008-12-27T11:09:00.003-05:00

No, it's not my birthday.

Am officially at 42 weeks today... although we did adjust my due date to the 30th for other reasons. Thinking I'm gonna start announcing the 30th date in earnest to get people (all sweet and well-meaning, of course) off . my . back!!! LOL

Feeling fine. Baby is still "his" ornery kicking squirming self. All is well. Except that I'm trying not to wig out about being "really overdue"!!! (Said in that tone of course!) ;-)

See, BD#1 was born at 41 weeks. BD#2 was born at 41 weeks & 3 days. So, I've been telling myself, wouldn't it be cute if BD#3 was born at 41 weeks and 6 days?? In fact, it would be so cute that I promised myself all along that I wouldn't wig out until I'd past 41&6. Which . was . yesterday.

When I woke up this morning wigging out because I was at a full authentic 42 weeks, it took me a while to figure out that in all of my promising myself that I wouldn't wig out til I past 41&6 (never thinking that I would actually get past it), I must have inadvertently given myself permission to wig out at 42... and I'm at 42. %-)

So now I have to remind myself that the *only* reason I'm wigging out is having spent months telling myself that I wouldn't--at least not until today. There's really nothing to wig out over. I'm feeling great, baby is acting normal. All is well. :-]

Off to try out that new griddle we got for Christmas. Gotta make the Saturday morning pancakes.

On Child-birth, Epidurals, and Inductions

2008-12-21T03:12:00.002-05:00

Warning: L-O-N-G Disjointed Ranting/Venting ahead—I’m pregnant, remember?? LOL

Just had yet another friend induced before her due date wind up with a c-section because the baby's heart-rate was dropping (during the second day of induction drug administration). Gar!!! What is with the “medical establishment”?? I "get" a first-time mom listening really closely to the Dr and going along with an early induction (of a technically full-term baby—39 weeks)... but if the drugs didn't work during the first 12 hours... do you think that maybe, just maybe, someone could figure out that the baby isn't ready to come out yet?? Could you admit that & just back off; let mom go home & wait a while (til closer to her due date)?? Anyone have a brick wall I can beat my head on???

I will freely admit to being biased. Not against the medical establishment per se, but against pregnancy and childbirth being treated like an illness or a disease that needs to be “fixed” or helped along by said establishment. Our bodies ARE designed to birth efficiently (and safely—imagine that!), and without interference in the vast majority of cases. Why do people insist on messing with a good & natural thing?

I’m just tired… Tired of being treated like an enemy by my IRL friends of child-bearing age because I don’t want an epidural during labor and delivery. Tired of being considered a novelty/circus freak because I want to stay in the comfort of my own home to deliver our baby. Tired of people being aggravated with me because we didn’t get an ultrasound this time (so we don’t know the baby’s gender yet).

SO WHAT?????

The pain “relieving” drugs DO hit the baby’s system; and no, we don’t know their long-term effects--although their short-term effects are pretty clearly visible. And what’s so weird about having a baby outside of a hospital setting anyway?? Women have been giving birth “naturally” for thousands of years. Hospitals (and the “pain-relieving” drugs they offer) haven’t been around for anywhere near that long. You used to have to wait til the baby was ready to be born to birth it (and you certainly never knew what you were having ahead of time, *grins*).

True, that in some circumstances a “natural” delivery is not without risk. And yes, in some cases the “medical establishment” is all that stands between having a live baby or a tiny casket. Medicine has it’s place. The advancements in the reduction of fetal/maternal fatalities that have been made are legitimate advancements. But for a healthy “low-risk” pregnancy??? Why, why, why are women (and their Dr’s) so intent on interfering with normal biological processes? Why?

When I was expecting BD#1, during our “newbie parents tour the hospital” trek, we were told this hospital was proud of their low epidural rate---of 90%!!! Um… 90% is low?? Are you freakin’ kidding me?? [Comparatively the hospital across town (their main competitors) had a 95% epidural rate. BUT the hospital across town also had the only Level 3 NICU in town, so they dealt with all the high-risk deliveries. Personally, I’d expect higher intervention rates there.] I know “pain-free” labor sounds appealing--especially to a first-time mom who’s heard nothing but horror stories from her girl-friends about how dreadfully awful child-birth was. (Why do we do that to each other anyway?)

My problem is that for every friend I have who’s had an epidural & therefore a “pain-free” delivery; I’ve got one or two whose epidurals didn’t take properly (or at all), and they’ve wound up with worse child-birth experiences than if they’d just left well enough alone. Same story with inductions. The statistics on elective inductions ending in c-sections are staggering. Of course, c-section rates (in the Southeast particularly) are staggering too, so I guess there shouldn’t be much surprise there. We, the generic societal we that is, are intervention happy.

We shouldn’t be, IMnsHO. But more on that later. For now I need sleep, ‘cause you never know when you’ll wake up in labor. LOL But you do remember I said I’m biased? There’s a reason I wasn’t interested in getting an epidural with our first—who I did have a fantastic hospital delivery experience with BTW, as one of those pesky 10% non-epidural mothers. :-D Yeah, more on that later. This post is w-a-y too long already!

End of rant.

---------------------
Edited to add:

If you’re interested in reading more about the correlations noted between harmless interventions like epidurals and c-section rates, pick up a copy of Henci Goer’s book The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth. Nice provocative title, eh? It’s worth reading if you are in your baby years—especially if you’re not happy with a previous birth experience. Studies can’t prove anything, but they can document trends. Repeat after me: Correlation does NOT equal causation. But neither is ignorance always bliss.

As a first-time pregnant reader, I really appreciated her documentation. While Ms. Goer makes no bones about her personal slant toward the midwifery model of care, she provides the documentation so you can think through the issues surrounding labor and delivery for yourself and/or go do more research. As she quotes Diana Korte and Roberta Scaer from A Good Birth, A Safe Birth: “If you don’t know your options, you don’t have any.”

Go check out Henci’s book, and the reviews on Amazon. The negative reviewers make good (valid) points, too.

Still waiting...

2008-12-19T02:59:00.001-05:00

Plumbing and electric are all fixed up. Baby is still in vitro. Christmas is next week. Must . get . sleep.....

Waiting...

2008-12-10T13:57:00.005-05:00

Waiting for the electrician to come back for a second day in a row but only after paying a service call to the plumber to tell us we need the electrician out here again (different issue: today the hot water only has 110 available instead of 220; yesterday two rooms dark b/c they were wired to the same GFCI--what's with that?!).... Guess it's a good thing the baby is waiting... for now...

Oh, and the other two?? Running back & forth through the house trying to hit each other!! "She runs really fast!" Well, duh!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2008-11-27T22:00:00.005-05:00

We've been privileged to have my hubby's mom here this week. The kids have been enjoying having Memere here to dispense hugs and read stories. I think we got a few pictures of her to prove she actually made it here (usually she successfully dodges the camera ;-)).

She got me back though (at my s-i-l's insistence), so we have a dread "belly shot" to post. Now for the life of me, I don't get what the big deal is. Why on earth do pregnant women everywhere stand in front of full length mirrors & take pictures of themselves?? You still can't see the baby!?! Mom did get a great shot though... me standing on a dining room chair to take an over-head-view picture of the kids latest train-track arrangement.

Unfortunately I don't have access to her camera card at the moment, so you'll have to be content with the shot she took on our camera. Enjoy....... if you dare.

Thanksgiving dinner was a rousing success. Tried out a new pumpkin pie recipe this year. Think pre-cooking the filling, fresh ginger, adding 5 eggs & a cup of heavy cream. :) Gooooooooooood pumpkin pie!! The pecan pie wasn't bad either (if I do say so myself). Those chef guys do know how to make a mean pie and write good instructions! Washed said pies down with awesome Dominican coffee, prepared in a Dominican-style steam percolator, sweetened with Dominican sugar--all imported by the most awesome foodie ever--LJ! Goodness in a cup. Hopefully it wasn't as stout with caffeine as it was with taste--cause it was GOOD strong coffee!

Off to ruminate for a while longer before bedtime.

My apologies for the lack of recipe at the pumpkin pie link. I had picked up a copy of the magazine at a local high-end grocery store during my semi-annual stock-up on dried herbs and spices. One slice of that pie this evening was worth every penny of the newsstand price. Yeah, it was *that* good.

Profoundly Sorry

2008-11-20T22:46:00.004-05:00

Statement about Race at Bob Jones University

At Bob Jones University, Scripture is our final authority for faith and practice and it is our intent to have it govern all of our policies. It teaches that God created the human race as one race. History, reality and Scripture affirm that in that act of creation was the potential for great diversity, manifested today by the remarkable racial and cultural diversity of humanity. Scripture also teaches that this beautiful, God-caused and sustained diversity is divinely intended to incline mankind to seek the Lord and depend on Him for salvation from sin (Acts 17:24–28).

The true unity of humanity is found only through faith in Christ alone for salvation from sin—in contrast to the superficial unity found in humanistic philosophies or political points of view. For those made new in Christ, all sinful social, cultural and racial barriers are erased (Colossians 3:11), allowing the beauty of redeemed human unity in diversity to be demonstrated through the Church.

The Christian is set free by Christ’s redeeming grace to love God fully and to love his neighbor as himself, regardless of his neighbor’s race or culture. As believers, we demonstrate our love for others first by presenting Christ our Great Savior to every person, irrespective of race, culture, or national origin. This we do in obedience to Christ’s final command to proclaim the Gospel to all men (Matthew 28:19–20). As believers we are also committed to demonstrating the love of Christ daily in our relationships with others, disregarding the economic, cultural and racial divisions invented by sinful humanity (Luke 10:25–37; James 2:1–13).

Bob Jones University has existed since 1927 as a private Christian institution of higher learning for the purpose of helping young men and women cultivate a biblical worldview, represent Christ and His Gospel to others, and glorify God in every dimension of life.

BJU’s history has been chiefly characterized by striving to achieve those goals; but like any human institution, we have failures as well. For almost two centuries American Christianity, including BJU in its early stages, was characterized by the segregationist ethos of American culture. Consequently, for far too long, we allowed institutional policies regarding race to be shaped more directly by that ethos than by the principles and precepts of the Scriptures. We conformed to the culture rather than provide a clear Christian counterpoint to it.

In so doing, we failed to accurately represent the Lord and to fulfill the commandment to love others as ourselves. For these failures we are profoundly sorry. Though no known antagonism toward minorities or expressions of racism on a personal level have ever been tolerated on our campus, we allowed institutional policies to remain in place that were racially hurtful.

On national television in March 2000, Bob Jones III, who was the university’s president until 2005, stated that BJU was wrong in not admitting African-American students before 1971, which sadly was a common practice of both public and private universities in the years prior to that time. On the same program, he announced the lifting of the University’s policy against interracial dating.

Our sincere desire is to exhibit a truly Christlike spirit and biblical position in these areas. Today, Bob Jones University enrolls students from all 50 states and nearly 50 countries, representing various ethnicities and cultures. The University solicits financial support for two scholarship funds for minority applicants, and the administration is committed to maintaining on the campus the racial and cultural diversity and harmony characteristic of the true Church of Jesus Christ throughout the world.

Released November 20, 2008
---------------------------------------------------------------

Rejoice with us!! I never thought we’d see “profoundly” and “sorry” in the same sentence. The clarity and directness of this statement regarding our unity in Christ is a delight to read. Praise the Lord!

Please-Reconcile

2008-11-17T14:41:00.008-05:00

If you're in any way a part of BJU; student, alumni, faculty or staff-present or former... please consider signing the open letter at Please Reconcile if you have not already done so.

If you want our take on it, read here.

For the record, the letter doesn't actually call for an apology for past actions (as a LOT of it's detractors claim), rather (at least as I read it) asks the admin to reconcile between statements made in the past (that haven't been repudiated) and their current position.

Even on Larry King Live, Dr Bob III said the rule was being dropped but the principle behind the rule was an important one.

JONES: Well, being a Bible believing institution, Larry, we try to base things on Bible principle. The problem we have today is that our principle is so greatly misunderstood. People think we don't let them date because we are racist, in other words to be racist you have to treat people differently. We don't. We don't let them date, because we were trying, as an example, to enforce something, a principle that is much greater than this.
We stand against the one-world government, against the coming world of anti-Christ, which is a one world system of blending, of all differences, of blending of national differences, economic differences, church differences, into a big one ecumenical world. The Bible is very clear about this.
We said, you know, way back years ago, when we first had a problem, which was -- by the way, we started this principle, back in the mid-'50s, I was a college student at BJU at the time and it was with an Asian and Caucasian is -- we didn't even have black students for another 15 years. So it was not put there as a black thing, I think people need to understand that.
KING: So the fear of one world relates back to two people dating?
JONES: Now, we realize that a inter-racial marriage is not going to bring in the world the anti-Christ by any means, but if we as Christians stand for Christ and not anti-Christ, and we see -- we are against the one world church. We are against one economy, one political system.
We see what the Bible says about this, so we say, OK, if they're going to blend this world -- and inter-racial marriage is a genetic blending, which is a very definite sort of blending -- we said as -- let's put this policy in here, because we are against the one world church and, way back, 17 years ago when I was on your program, I was saying on programs all across America, we are not going to the Supreme Court fighting for our rule and our -- we are fighting for our right to it. There is a religious freedom issue, that's all we ever fought for.
KING: You are a private institution, you don't get the tax benefit because -- but you are entitled to the thing -- I'm trying to find out why you have the rule.
JONES: Yes. We have the rule, because it was a part of a bigger -- it was a -- it wasn't the rule itself. We can't point to a verse in the Bible that says you shouldn't date or marry inter-racial.
KING: You can't back it up?
JONES: No, we can't back it up with a verse from the Bible. We never have tried to, we have never tried to do that. But we have said there is a principle here, an overriding principle of the one world government. But let me tell you how insignificant this is. Students never hear it preached. There have been four, five, six generations of students that graduated from there have never heard this preached in our chapel or taught in our school. To us...
KING: But it's a rule, though, they know they can't.
JONES: It is a rule, it is, but it's the most insignificant thing, but now, we are being defined as a racist school. I mean, that is all the media talks about.
KING: Partly, during the era -- you know -- the era of segregation, segregationists said, well, we are not racist, we just think the races should be apart, they should be treated equally, but not together, and that was regarded as a kind of a cop-out.
JONES: Yes.
KING: Do you think maybe -- I mean, you could change that, you think it is a stretch maybe? In other words, have you given thought to maybe that's taking it too far, down to two people into a whole one world concept?
JONES: I don't think it's taking it too far, but I can tell you this, we don't have to have that rule. In fact, as of today, we have dropped the rule. We have dropped the rule for this reason.
KING: Today?
JONES: Today. I met with the administrators this afternoon before coming here. But let me tell you why we dropped it. We don't want this to be a -- here is a great institution, one of the premier academic institutions in America, one of the premier Christian colleges of America. We have a broader testimony. And if all anybody can see is this rule, which we never talk about or preach, which most of our students couldn't even tell you what it is. It is that unimportant to us.
I said to our administration, you know, guys, this thing is of such insignificance to us, it is so significant to the world at large, the media particularly, why should we have this here as an obstacle? It hurts our graduates, we love our graduates greatly, it hurts maybe the church, as well. I don't want to hurt the church of Jesus Christ.
Later...
JONES: It is ended, and I want it to be very clear why it has ended. Our concern for the cause of Christ, our concern for our graduates, our concern for our testimony, our concern for the school's broader usefulness is greater to us than a rule that we never talk about and that is meaningless to us. The principle upon which it's based is very, very important.
(Emphases mine)

Of course, that's not quite so hard a stance as saying it's a Biblical rule (like they said in the Supreme Court in the 70's...), but the fact remains the principle is "very, very important"??? Um..... What?!?!?

These clips from this interview are what has grieved me the most through all of this... "BJU is a racist school" stuff. I was a student at BJU during the "four, five, six generations of students that graduated from there have never heard this preached in our chapel or taught in our school." Believe me--"this" WAS taught. It was NOT just a dusty old rule that no one heard about. Students of certain minorities heard about the rule--loud and clear, and some times frequently. Please do not misunderstand, I AM grateful the rule was dropped; but I am also grieved at the representation given on LKL.

What the signatories of the open letter are asking of BJU's leadership is not an "apology for past actions" per se, but some attempt at reconciliation of these two facts.

1. The rule was indeed dropped.
2. But, even in the dropping, the principle behind the rule was called "very important."

Another Quilt Give-away...

2008-11-15T16:43:00.004-05:00

... 3 of them actually. You know, I've never met a quilter who wasn't generous to a fault, but I never knew so many quilters gave away quilts!!! Dana at the Red Barn Co. is actually giving away 3 quilts (one each to three different people). Entry ends on Nov.17th at 7pm EST, so anyone interested in entering needs to get over there quickly. :-) If nothing else, go look at the pictures of her quilts--beautiful!!!

Quilt anyone??

2008-11-14T00:19:00.006-05:00

Of all the things I've wanted to learn, quilting is one of those things up on top of my list. One of the gals from church makes a baby quilt for each new addition to our church nursery... one of these days I'll hit her up for quilting lessons. But in the absence of time to quilt for myself and others, what could be better than a chance to win a free quilt?? Thanks to my s-i-l for pointing out these two give-aways...

The first quilt is being given away by Karen--she found the top at an antique store!!

The second quilt is being given by Abbie, who made it in honor of a friend who had donated bone marrow!!

Entry for both of these give-aways ends soon, so if quilting is your thing... go enter!!!

Read This!!

2008-11-08T19:28:00.003-05:00

Good thoughts from Molly on mercy... (and wet beds). :-)

A teaser:

In the Midday Office of The Divine Hours today, I read, “There is forgiveness with You; therefore You shall be feared,” (Psalm 130:3) and I sat and thought about that for a little while, because it didn’t seem to make sense. Then I realized that the One who can remove guilt and does, is, of all things, the most merciful person there is. That level of mercy in One who has that kind of power? It is palpably frightening. It’s not normal. It’s not what we know.

Gender Prediction Quizzes??

2008-11-03T13:23:00.006-05:00

These always crack me up... With our first two dragons, I had ultrasounds done. Now that we have one of each gender, we're not going to bother. But, I do these "gender prediction quizzes" with each baby anyway. Usually I come out about 40/60 in one direction or the other--usually the *wrong* direction, I might add. *grins* This baby's quiz is no exception... The results??

Congratulations!

You have a 43% chance of having a boy.
And you have a 56% chance of having a girl.

And Here's Why...

You are carrying the extra weight around the hips and bottom, so it's a girl.--but I did this with my first (a boy), and not with my second (a girl).

The hair on your legs is not growing any faster during your pregnancy, so it's a girl.--mine grows fast, pregnant or not (blame it on sorta-PCOS).

Girls are carried high. You are going to have a girl.--I carried my boy *really* high, and my girl *really* low. Go figure.

Sleeping in a bed with your pillow to the north indicates that you will be having a boy.--I've slept the same way with both prior pregnancies.

Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy. You are having a boy.--my feet are *always* cold, just ask my long-suffering husband!

You prefer the heel of a loaf of bread. You are having a boy.--Preferring the heel *might* be pregnancy related, or it might just be that I like home-made bread crusts!! :-D Either way, I liked them with both prior pregnancies.

Dad-to-be hasn't been gaining weight along with Mom-to-be, so it will be a girl.--OK, so I didn't *really* make him get on the scale, but he didn't gain a substantial amount with either prior pregnancy.

The maternal grandmother doesn't have gray hair (dyed or natural), so a girl will be born.--This one is just weird. I know gals whose moms had grayed early, yet had all girl grand-babies, and natural colored grandmas with all-boy grand-kids. Funny, I always though *Dad* cornered the market on boy-vs-girl babies decision. LOL

You didn't have morning sickness early in pregnancy, so it will be a boy.--I don't do morning sickness. Period.

You are looking particularly good during pregnancy. Therefore, it must be a boy, because girls steal their mother's looks.--I don't ever look "particularly good." *snickers* However, my skin stays "looking good" because I drink tons of water. Y'all try it. Water is good for you--and contrary to popular quotes, drinking the water will *not* get you pregnant. ROFL.

Your chest development has not been very dramatic during pregnancy. You should expect a boy.--Gee, isn't that a bit personal?? Frankly, there's not a lot of difference between pregnancies. ;-) You'll just have to take my word for it. LOL

Since the sum of the mother's age at conception and the number of the month of conception is even, it will be a boy.--Yeah, OK.

A needle on a thread held over you belly moves from side-to-side, so it will be a girl.--My boy did the side-to-side, and my girl did the circles. Getting the idea that my kids are contrary??

Your urine is a bright neon yellow color, so you will have a boy.--Taking extra Vit. A or most any pre-natal vitamin has the same effect.

You are craving sweets, which means that it is a girl.--Funny, I *craved* sweets with my boy (and I do mean CRAVED); but with my girl I was constantly putting half-eaten bowls of ice cream back in to the freezer "for later." Trust me--this was NOT normal behavior for me, just while carrying my little girl. This pregnancy is back to sweets-as-preferred... er... normal. :-D

Your nose hasn't changed during pregnancy, which indicates a girl.--Yeah, OK, whatever. My nose doesn't change when I'm pregnant, neither do my feet for that matter.

You have been craving meats or cheeses, so it is a boy.--This is a universal sign of being pregnant for me. I'm a meat-and-potatoes kind of gal anyway, but really do crave protein anytime I'm pregnant. Not a gender-differential for me.

Your baby's heart rate is 140 or more beats per minute, so it's a girl.--My boy's heart rates were always above 140, and my girl's were always below 140. Go figure. (This one's are high again.)

You must have orange juice every day, so it's a girl.--Maybe I just want vitamin C to help absorb the iron in my pre-natals?? I couldn't *stand* OJ while carrying Little Miss. Don't remember from BD#1s pregnancy. OJ is OK this time around though...

You are not having headaches, so it's a girl.--Bwhahahaha. I didn't get headaches with my boy; but I had the worst headaches ever while carrying my little girl. Too many female hormones in one body, if you ask me!! LOL (Or maybe I'm the obstinate one. :-D)

Your belly looks like a basketball, so it's a boy.--Check. First one (boy) was a BB. Second one (girl) was a watermelon. Back to a BB for this one. Hey, they've got to get one or two correct, right?! :-)

You show them the palm of your hand, so it's a girl.--Eh, I'm always palms-up. Not a pregnancy thing for me.

You use the body of the mug, so it's a girl.--No, I have big hands, so I *always* use the body of the mug. Incidentally, that's also why I don't like little .22 pistols. Their grips are always WAY too small for my hands. Gimmie a .357 any day of the week. ;-)

Copyright © 1997, 1998 by Childbirth.org All rights reserved.

So.... while they say this one is 56% more likely to be a girl than a boy... For 7 of the 13 questions that predicted BD#3 will be a girl, what they said predicted "girl" were characteristics of my previous boy's pregnancy but NOT of my girl's. Sorta conversely, for 9 of the 10 above questions that predicted BD#3 will be a boy, what they said predicted "boy" are general pregnancy characteristics for me--things I had in common with both prior pregnancies, or that just describe my life in general. Only ONE of the "boy-predictor" questions was true of my pregnancy with my boy. *snickers* So, yeah, I think I'm the obstinate one.

The final--prior track record adjusted--tally of the 23 characteristics is... 8 votes for boy and 15 undecided. ROFL And for the record I do think BD#3 is probably a boy; but don't tell the baby, just in case it's more obstinate than I am. LOL

Who is Ingrid anyway?

2008-10-31T18:57:00.004-04:00

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Ingrid!

You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.

Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.

Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.

Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.

Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!

What I Like About Being an Ingrid

my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level

my ability to establish warm connections with people

admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life

my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor

being unique and being seen as unique by others

having aesthetic sensibilities

being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What's Hard About Being an Ingrid

experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair

feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved

feeling guilty when I disappoint people

feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me

expecting too much from myself and life

fearing being abandoned

obsessing over resentments

longing for what I don't have

Ingrids as Children Often

have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games

are very sensitive

feel that they don't fit in

believe they are missing something that other people have

attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.

become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood

feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)

Ingrids as Parents

help their children become who they really are

support their children's creativity and originality

are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings

are sometimes overly critical or overly protective

are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Family!!!

2008-10-23T14:04:00.010-04:00

My mom got to come visit Monday and Tuesday; thanks to her brother and his wifey coming down from Canada to visit my folks, then deciding to come the extra 4 hours to see us too. Yeah for family willing to endure L-O-N-G road trips!! Anyway, we got a few pictures snapped while everyone was here. Enjoy!!

The 5 of us with Grandma.

All the crazy Canucks!

Aren't the kid's tee-shirts cute?

3 generations of us gals.

And can it be...

2008-10-22T00:25:00.003-04:00

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

Nods to CyberHymnal.org for that 5th verse I'd never heard & for restoring the last two lines per verse. Our church hymnal has us sing
"Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?" instead of the proper last lines for each of the 3 verses they printed. Annoying, especially when I learned it with 5 longer verses!!! (But then I'm easily annoyed some days.)

For what it's worth, I think the hymn ought to be titled "Amazing Grace" but I guess that title was already taken. ;-)

Please Reconcile

2008-10-15T23:07:00.004-04:00

Dear Friends & BJU Alumni,

If you have already "signed" the Please Reconcile letter, then thank you.

If you would like to "sign" the Please Reconcile letter or learn more about Please Reconcile, then please go to please-reconcile.org.

...

During our first semester at the University in the early '90s, my friend (Eric) -- who is half caucasian & half oriental -- was called to the Dean of Men's office. There Dean Tony Miller confronted Eric about the evils of inter-racial dating of which we were completely ignorant. To the best of my knowledge, Eric had not gone on any dates yet; so I do not believe this action was in response to an inter-racial date. (Was every student called to such a meeting or was it just the minorities?) However, I was so astonished by this information that I asked Dean Miller for the University's scriptural support for such a position. He responded by directing us to Genesis 10:1, which states, "Now these are the generations of the sons of Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth: and unto them were sons born after the flood."

At this point Dean Miller must have detected our puzzled expressions despite the light of such clear and convincing revelation because he then patiently explained that Shem, Ham, and Japheth were the fathers of the yellow, black, and white races respectively. He followed by artfully unfolding that God, Himself, separated these three races at the Tower of Babel. His finale was the inescapable conclusion that humanity's division at Babel was God's plan and that we should not frustrate God's plan by attempting to reunite the races.

Although this explanation is less than satisfactory from both logical and hermeneutical standpoints, Eric quickly moved on to the practical implications of such a philosophy by dropping the bomb that he was half Shem and half Japheth according to this reckoning. This news appeared to catch Dean Miller off guard. (He may have been under the mistaken impression that Eric was completely of Asian descent.) However, he soon recovered, and with wisdom that Solomon could only marvel at, announced that since Eric was 50% white & 50% yellow he (Eric) must choose then and there to date either white or yellow young ladies and never to recant once his choice was made.

Of course, Eric immediately decided to date only young ladies who were of the seed of Japheth and to swear off ever taking a Shemitess to an artist series, the couch emporium, or other dating venue. He later confided in me that his hasty but well-thought decision was based on the assumption that he would be dating at all and his cogent observation that white girls outnumbered oriental girls by about 1000 to 1 at BJU. Thus Satan's plans to reunite humanity and resume work on that wicked tower were once again thwarted by steadfast dedication to unwritten University policy and the quick thinking of a singular dean.

...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry about it, but my post (above) is -- to the best of my recollection -- an absolutely accurate recounting of what transpired on that day. I am no writer, and I certainly could not make up such a tragically amusing scenario.

The Ravens

2008-10-07T22:46:00.003-04:00

In a 1 Kings 17 moment, we had a van-load of groceries dropped off at our house today.

3 lbs. apples
3 lbs. sweet potatoes
1 head cabbage
1 lb. baby carrots
4 zucchini

8 oz. sharp cheddar cheese
1 dzn. eggs
1 gallon milk

8 lbs. chicken leg quarters
6 lbs. smoked ham
3 lbs. ground chuck

5 lbs. all purpose flour
5 lbs. self-rising flour

And another friend came by and left behind 6 lbs. of split peas (so I get to make split-pea soup with the left-over ham and ham bone stock!!!)

So yes, despite being a bit "under-employed" at the moment, God's faithfulness continues. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits!! Ps. 103:2

How long has it been?

2008-10-01T23:02:00.005-04:00

Since you've heard or sung any of these??

He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own, And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known. I come to the garden alone while the dew is still on the roses, and voice I hear, falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses... and He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own... and the joy we share, as we tarry there, none other has ever known.

And Jesus said, Come to the water, stand by my side; I know you are thirsty you won't be denied, I felt every tear drop, when in darkness you cried, and I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.

Shackled by a heavy burden, 'neath a load of guilt and shame, then the hand of Jesus touched me, and now I am no longer the same. (or) Since I met this blessed Saviour, since He cleansed and made me whole, I will never cease to praise him, I'll shout it while eternity rolls:
He touched me, He touched me; and Oh the joy that floods my soul, something happened and now I know, He touched me and made me whole.

What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear, what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.

Just a closer walk with thee, if I falter Lord who cares, none but thee my burden bears, none but thee, dear Lord, none but thee. Just a closer walk with thee, grant it Jesus is my plea, daily walking close with thee, let it be dear Lord, let it be.... I'll be satisfied as long, as I walk, let me walk close to thee.

How can I say thanks for the things you have done for me, things so undeserved, yet you give to prove your love for me, the voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude, all that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to thee. To God be the glory, to God be the glory, to God be the glory for the things He has done. With His blood he has saved me, with His power he has raised me, to God be the glory for the things He has done. Just let me live my life, let it be pleasing Lord to thee; and should I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary. With His blood He has saved me, with His power He has raised me... to God be the glory for the things He has done.

I've been listening to a CD of Dino. One of the songs on it is a medley of the songs above, all in one package. :-) You know it's difficult to transcribe words from dusty memories with tears streaming down your face, right?! I learned some of these at home growing up, or in choir during Jr. High (church or school, or both). Either way, Jr. High was a *long* time ago. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly and clearly the words come flooding back when I hear the melodies of songs I once sang regularly. Nothing can lift the soul in quite the same way that music can...

GOYB Parenting

2008-09-19T11:58:00.008-04:00

For alternatives to the usual "spanking is the primary and best tool in the parenting-of-young-ones toolbox" child-rearing paradigm found in Fundamentalism, may I introduce you to: Get off your butt parenting. Gotta love the name! *snickers* So true though. If you want to adopt a less confrontational parenting style, you (the parent) are going to *have* to get off the couch more often. Hollering instructions in from the next room . will . not . cut . it. Seriously.

GOYBP defined:

It's not about spanking.

Connect before you correct.

Can you spell "misspell"?

2008-09-11T16:56:00.007-04:00

Spelling mistakes.... gar!!

Anyone who knows me IRL will howl at the thought that spelling mistakes drive me up the wall because I am constantly heard asking "How do you spell...?" But hey, I have the right to be a hypocrite, yes?? ;-)

Few things bother me more than spelling mistakes on people's personal blogs, in e-groups, and mass group e-mails. Very few things. Especially when those mistakes are made by mothers who are homeschooling their children. Especially then. RARH!!!

Granted some of my impatience is born of (literally) countless hours on the phone with home-schooling moms bewailing the abysmal spelling scores on their children's "end of year" standardized test results. "But she/he loves to read!?!" (Did'ya catch the whiney tone?)

Um.... yea, so? Obviously reading ability has precious little to do with aptitude for spelling (or his/her scores wouldn't be so low). They are two separate skills that *must* be taught as such. Spelling is NOT learned by osmosis, or absorbed by extensive reading. Vocabulary perhaps, but not spelling.

Or don't bother teaching your kids how to spell. Why should I care? After all, they're growing up with spell checks embedded in every word-processing program imaginable. Who needs to learn to spell well anyway? Funny thing... when I was growing up (back in the dark ages of course), Mom would always answer my spelling queries with "Go look it up in the dictionary."

I know first-hand how had it is to find a word you're spelling phonetically aloud that's not spelled phonetically in print. I "get it" that homographs are tricky and that spell check won't catch homophones either. And I know if you look, you'll be able to find mistakes in what I've written; so I wouldn't bother taking the time to hunt. It probably wouldn't be much of a hunt. LOL

Besides, I'm not home-schooling so you can't say the pot is calling the kettle black. :-D

/end rant

Of Carts & Horses

2008-09-09T01:35:00.007-04:00

A Passion for Thee

Set my heart, O dear Father, On Thee, and Thee only,
Give me a thirst for Thy presence divine.
Lord, keep my focus on loving Thee wholly,
Purge me from earth; Turn my heart after Thine.

A passion for Thee; O Lord, set a fire in my soul, and a thirst for my God.
Hear Thou my prayer, Lord, Thy power impart.
Not just to serve, but to love Thee with all of my heart.

Father fill with Thy Spirit, and fit me for service,
Let love for Christ ev'ry motive inspire,
Teach me to follow in selfless submission,
Be Thou my joy and my soul's one desire.

A passion for Thee; O Lord, set a fire in my soul, and a thirst for my God.
Hear Thou my prayer, Lord, Thy power impart.
Not just to serve, but to love Thee with all of my heart.

~Joe Zichterman

Ever think about the words of "A Passion for Thee" above? "Hear now my prayer, Lord, thy power impart... not just to serve, but to love thee with all of my heart" Isn't that cart-before-the-horse backwards?? Shouldn't our service come second, born out of our love for Him??

I know the song is about our passion (love?) for Him, but today (when the little voices in my head sing it) it winds up sounding like "Hey Lord, my service for you is A-OK, but I prolly ought to love you more. Will ya help me with that check-mark??" I'd love to ask Joe Z... especially since he's "out" of "Fundy-ism" now.... I really like most all of the songs that I know he's written, and I've always liked this song especially. But since it was played for the offertory this morning, it's been running through my head... Then the words started sinking in & I started wondering. Things that make you go "Hmmmmmm........ " ;-)

Praying for a heart of love... all the while assuming that I already have a heart bent toward service? What's with that?? To me it seems wrong-headed Scripturally. But given what I know of Joe (he has his head on pretty straight), it behooves me to assume JZ was trying to point out this weak area in the camp not ingrain it more.

1 Corinthians 13 makes much of love/charity being the primary thing--the motivation from which our actions should spring. If the greatest command is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and the second is like unto it--to love our neighbors as ourselves (i.e. service); wouldn't that imply that our service ought to be borne out of our love for God, rather than serving (first?) while we're praying to love Him more?

Not that there's any harm in praying for a deeper love for the Lord and a closer relationship with Him.... I suspect my hang-up is just semantics. :-D Or maybe it's hyper-sensitivity to anything about what I should be "doing" as a believer. When you've been indoctrinated by a definition of grace that includes what I do (grace is God's enabling power and desire to do His will), you start developing jerky knees.

If justification is all God's work & glorification is all God's work, why can't sanctification be (more about) God's work too???

Before the Throne

2008-09-01T00:34:00.004-04:00

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
A great High Priest whose name is love
Who ever lives and pleads for me
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me

Behold Him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness
The great unchangeable I AM
The King of Glory and of Grace
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased by His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God

"Before the Throne", lyrics by Charitie Less Bancroft, alt. lyrics and music by Vikki Cook.

A response to "Wretched Urgency"

2008-08-31T18:29:00.007-04:00

Dear M:

Your web journal titled "Wretched Urgency" highlights similar struggles in my Christian walk although our circumstances are quite different... Your sub-title, "The Grace of God or Hamsters on a Wheel?", raises the primary issue. I am not referring to the question, itself, although it is quite humorous, but rather to the first four words -- the grace of God. Defining, recognizing the extent of, and understanding God's grace seems to have been and continues to be the greatest schism in Christianity. This issue is at the heart of both your and my struggles and, I expect, many others' besides. As you have well described, it is severely complicated by other factors such as guilt, loyalty, and tradition. However, God graciously blessed us with His word.

Gen 6:7-9 And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD. These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.

How many times have I read a children's book, heard a gospel song, or listened to a preacher or Sunday school teacher expounding on this passage and its surrounding events? Invariably, the story is related that because Noah was "just" and "perfect," he "found grace in the eyes of the LORD." Hello! Are we reading the same scriptures?

First, God declared that He would utterly annihilate all humanity and terrestrial fauna. As a member of humanity, Noah is included under this condemnation and the earlier verses describing humanity's (and Noah's) continual evil thoughts.

Second, Noah finds "grace in the eyes of the LORD." The Hebrew word here translated "grace" is chen, which is a derivative of chanan. Strong's defines chanan as "to bend or stoop in kindness to an inferior, to favor, or to bestow." The same Hebrew word is translated as "favour" in Esther 5:2, which passage is also an illustrative depiction of this word.

Third, Noah is "just," "perfect," and -- perhaps more to the point -- walking "with God." Thus rather than Noah finding "grace in the eyes of the LORD" because he was "just" and "perfect," the scriptures teach exactly the opposite.

Time does not permit reviewing the many other examples of God's grace in the lives of men recorded in the Old and New Testaments. However, if you examine other individual cases, then I believe that you will find that Noah is a representative sample of a vast mountain of examples such as Moses, Gideon, and David. The New Testament is also rife with examples of God's grace, but it is even more helpful -- in my opinion -- by addressing the very nature of God's grace. Perhaps the most relevant passages to "Wretched Urgency" are the following:

Rom 4:2-8 For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God. For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works, Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin.

Rom 11:5-6 Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace. And if by grace, then is it no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then is it no more grace: otherwise work is no more work.

In addition to the above verses, practically the entire book of Galatians and many other New Testament scriptures provide specific doctrine regarding God's grace. However, the point is clear even just from the above passages in Romans that grace and works are mutually exclusive. The failure to recognize this truth has produced more error and heresy in the church's history than any other single doctrine. Apparently, false teachings arose about this matter virtually from the church's inception because the Apostle Paul did not mince words on the subject.

Gal 1:6-9 I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel: Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ. But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.

Gal 2:21 I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain.

Gal 5:1-4 Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing. For I testify again to every man that is circumcised, that he is a debtor to do the whole law. Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.

Gal 3:1-3 O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you? This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?

Of course, any fundamentalist worth his salt will immediately object that he is not teaching folks to be circumcised, keep the Old Testament law, or work for their salvation. Of course, there are the nut jobs who do teach circumcision as some sort of spiritual blessing in direct and explicit contradiction to the scriptures: "For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love." -- Gal 5:6. But I concede the point that by in large fundamentalists are not instructing their congregations to be circumcised. Once again, there are radicals who teach that one should keep elements of the Old Testament law such as dietary regimens, but on the whole fundamentalists are not boarding ships to relocate to the Holy Land.

However, they are doing something much more insidious: they are making their own law to follow, which you outlined very well. Be politically conservative, don't drink alcohol, don't smoke tobacco, don't go to movie theaters, ladies wear modest skirts or dresses, gentlemen wear short hair with no facial-hair, go to church whenever the doors are open, have family devotions, have personal devotions, engage in a ministry such as visitation, don't listen to modern music, don't let your children attend public school, separate from all evil influences; and if there be any question of what is acceptable, please refer to Americans of the 1950s.

Which brings me to the last and most pertinent objection: fundamentalists say that they are not teaching a works-based salvation. No; they are teaching a works-based sanctification. To which I respond, what is the difference? Don't get me wrong, I remember studying soteriology in college, too. It is arguably useful to study salvation and sanctification as separate topics, but is that how salvation and sanctification work in the real world or are taught in scripture?

John 15:1-5 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

Rom 8:28-30 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

Col 2:6-10 As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: Rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving. Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:

Based on the above passages, two truths are evident. First, God is the only one doing anything in our salvation and sanctification. We are merely bearers of the "fruit" that He grows through us. (Please see Galatians 5:22-23 for a biblical description of Christian fruit.) Second, there is no break in the essence or roles of responsibility between our salvation and sanctification. Romans 8 presents our predestination through our glorification as a seamless act of God. Colossians 2 makes it clear that our Christian walk is just as dependent on Christ as was our salvation, which Ephesians 2:8-9 explicitly declares to be "by grace," "through faith," and "not of works."

I am sure that I have tested your patience with this epistle, so I will bring it to a close. I hope that this information is helpful and encouraging to you. As God patiently revealed it to me despite my fundamentalist paradigm, I found these truths to be greatly liberating and humbling at the same time. To God alone be the glory!

Sincerely,
Paul

Free from the Law...

2008-08-15T19:34:00.003-04:00

Am in the middle of a study on the Law. *grins*

Romans 10:4 For Christ [is] the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth.

The words of an old favourite hymn of mine keep rolling through my head...

Free from the law, O happy condition,
Jesus has bled and there is remission,
Cursed by the law and bruised by the fall,
Grace hath redeemed us once for all.

Refrain
Once for all, O sinner, receive it,
Once for all, O brother, believe it;
Cling to the cross, the burden will fall,
Christ hath redeemed us once for all.

Now we are free, there’s no condemnation,
Jesus provides a perfect salvation.
“Come unto Me,” O hear His sweet call,
Come, and He saves us once for all.

“Children of God,” O glorious calling,
Surely His grace will keep us from falling;
Passing from death to life at His call;
Blessèd salvation once for all.

It's a Phillip P. Bliss number :-) Thanks to CyberHymnal for the words.

Character

2008-08-05T13:58:00.003-04:00

This from Mikey's Funnies:

today'sTHOT============================

A person's character is like a fence.
It cannot be strengthened by whitewash.

Grins.

Nor can it be weakened by someone else calling it "white-washed." LOL

Nods to the gang at White-Washed Feminists. More grins.

It's all about context... or maybe it's just the blood pressure

2008-07-29T16:29:00.008-04:00

Since when do we as believers have the right to wrest a verse out of context, apply it to ourselves because it "means something special to us," AND then go on to tell others how they should apply this out-of-context verse to their lives too because it's meant so much to us, and because there's such a great "scriptural" principle behind it???

Since when?? Since last Wednesday night!! I'm just having a hard time believing I heard it from the pulpit. It's been one thing to recognize it as it's happened over the years, it's another thing entirely to hear the practice excused from the pulpit!

Two Wednesday nights back it was "now you may hear some things tonight that don't sound just right at first. That's one thing. Just don't throw the baby out with the bath water." Well, excuse me, but if the bath water is so dirty that you're in danger of not noticing the baby in said bathwater, is it OK if I question why you're putting the baby in that bath water to begin with??

I don't know what version you're reading, but my Bible still says: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (Eph. 5:25-27) There's just no dirt in *that* water!!

Now, to give context to this rant, you have to know that we've been watching Gothard/IBLP's Financial Freedom seminar (as presented by Jim Sammons) over the past 8 Wednesday nights. So when Pastor was excusing taking Scripture out of context, he was not speaking of himself but of others.

Presenting a sound financial principle as a "good idea" is one thing. Wresting scripture from context to support your point is quite another, or at least it was in the hermeneutics classes I took.

Is today over yet?!

2008-07-23T20:22:00.002-04:00

Thankfully the day is past half over. I now have hope of surviving until midnight. After that though, all bets are off! The day began innocently enough....

12:00 AM: I was curled up on our guest bed, chatting with my hubby on the phone about how his day went. (He's 3 or 4 time zones away in a week of training for his new job.) Anyway, we talked til about 1:15 am, said our good-byes and off to sleep I went. Well, sort-of. BD#2 started murmuring in her sleep while we were still of the phone, and by 2am she was into her "Mama, Maama, MAaaaMa, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMA!" routine (which being interpreted is "I woke up and don't want to go back to sleep!") By the time BD#2 was settled down again it was 2:30am. I've got no idea when I actually went to sleep, but it was closer to 3am than I would have liked.

Lest anyone worry that I've just "revealed" that I'm home alone this week with the toddlers, Don't worry. I'm FAR from alone. I have a gun--loaded of course, for what's the point of an unloaded one? I have house guests. From Jersey. Need I say more? I do? OK, they brought a dog along. Fearsome thing. (*Snickers,* as she's really not fearsome in the least; but hey, it is a dog!) AND, last but not least in my secret arsenal of weaponry, I have not one but two toddlers. More on their protective abilities later....)

6:10 AM: I wake up. No idea why. I usually try to sleep til the kids get up, usually around 8am. Sleeping on the guest bed, and having house guests has kinda put a crimp in that. But still, normally I can go back to sleep for at least another hour. Not so today. SO, besides being up late, I'm now awake early. Pregnant women should NOT burn the candle on both ends. No really, they shouldn't.

7:05 AM: After laying in bed staring at the clock for almost an hour, I concede that sleep is futile and drag my ever-cheerful self out of bed. Since I'm up early enough, I decide to make a pot of grits for the house guests before they go off for their day's activities. Managed not to scald the milk the grits were cooking in, so they tasted half-decent. Yeah for that!

7:50 AM: Head for the computer desk to "get stuff done" before the baby dragons wake up. Praise be they slept most of the way til 8:30, so I did get a little bit done in peace and quiet.

9:00 AM: Plunk left-over oatmeal with raisins in front of BD#1 (he requested it), and left-over grits in front of BD#2. She didn't ask for them, but she likes them all the same. Since they are proficient self-feeders (at least of things that will stick to a spoon), I left them in their respective chairs to eat while I got more done on the computer. Checked on them about every 5 minutes. They were eating fine....

9:30 AM: Noticed increasing sounds of giggles and weird slurping sound coming from BD#2... Decided while I checked on her, I should find my usually-ever-present water bottle. Can you guess what happens next?? BD#1 was busily squirting my water around the table, the floor, both kids' cereal bowls, BD#2's tray.... she was splashing in the water as hard as she could, then sucking it off her fingers. Don't ask why--she had her own water bottle *right there.*

10:30 AM: Guest dog leaves a puddle on the rug in the middle of the living room.... Fortunately I saw that one in progress & got it soaked back up post haste.

11:00 AM: Go outside to feed and water the "kittens." Come back in to do stuff in the kitchen while they eat. Don't get between an animal and it's food.

11:30 AM: Go back outside to love on the kitties now that they've eaten a bit. Make the kids stay inside, ostensibly to entertain the fearsome guest dog, but really so I have a chance to pet the kittens. Toddlers and kittens do NOT mix. Kittens know this and quickly disappear when toddlers appear.

11:45 AM: Happen to notice that I'm locked out by BD#1. (Not to worry, I ALWAYS back away from the door and grab keys before going outside. He's perfectly capable of locking and unlocking the glass door, but he also wanders off and might not bother to come back and let me in. LOL)

12:00 PM: Ah, bliss. The day is technically half over. Let myself back in the house and hear BD#1 telling me that BD#2 is "on da phone." That'd be the one I wired to the guest room this week so I can talk to hubby at night. I pick up the kitchen phone and tell kids to get off phone. "Why?" and in just that whiny tone, LOL. Kids do hang up phone, but it sounds like someone is still on the phone. Being the curious person that I am, I say "Hello?" This is ______ County 911. Are you all right? "You've GOT to be kidding me!" No Ma'am, this is 911. Are you OK? "Yes, we're fine, (thinking: but the 3 year old won't be in a minute), sorry to bother you." Are you sure everything is all right? "Yes, Ma'am. I was outside petting the cat, and my kids got into the phone. I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but yes, we're fine." OK, we just needed to stay on the line and check. Thank you! *911 operator hangs up* I think to myself I hope they don't already have an officer in transit... Nah, surely they don't. Or if they did, she'd tell him to "never mind," right?

12:05 PM: Reprogram the "emergency" buttons on that phone to call "*" rather than "911"!!! Give kids a lecture about NOT playing with the phone. *shrugs* No point in "punishing" them in any fashion. They play with the phones in our house all the time. They just don't usually have access to that one, and I had completely forgotten that at least one of the buttons on it was pre-programmed to dial 911. That's my bad, not theirs! None of the other phones have instant access pre-programming like that.

12:30 PM: Weird odors emanating from diapers. Fix that. (See, I can spare *some* details! ;-) ) Hear heavy pounding on front door. You guess it, _______ County sheriff officer. Nice young guy. Sympathetic to the plight of a mom. Told BD#1 "it's OK buddy!" Flashed his lights and blipped his siren on the way out--to the delight of BD#1 who totally did not associate the phone incident with the nice man in the uniform (which is a good thing--don't need a repeat of that!!)

2:00 PM: While walking dog, head weird clicking sound in grass. Last time I heard a weird clicking sound like that, there was a click beetle involved. This time it was a yellow jacket chewing on a dragon fly wing. I . kid . you . not. Guess the chitin in the dragon fly wing crackles when it gets chewed on. Wasn't going to try it myself to find out though. ;-)

.......

Fortunately the day wound down from there... went to prayer meeting, told on the kids & the 911 incident. It's always fun to see people's reactions when you say (in response to the usual "so how was your day?"), "Well, we had cops out to the house...." O.O Today I joined the ranks of the criminal element without even trying.

It's a good day that ends well... but this day was good just because it ended. LOL

Blood Pressure

2008-07-02T03:56:00.015-04:00

Confession time. I am OCD--no, I don't really *have* OCD, although my hubby *does* say I'm persnickety, LOL.

I have been on a quest. I've been listening to old sermons download-able from our church's website, trying to find the time when Pastor said, "We've been saying around here for years that 'grace is God's enabling power to do His will'."

Why I'm looking for that particular quote has to do with
1. proving it was said to begin with; or, in other words,
2. convincing myself that I'm not insane/hearing voices during church, and,
3. someday, hopefully refuting the claim that we as a local church body have "been saying this for years."

I've finally found it!!! Only 11 minutes into the 19th sermon I've listened to while reading everybody else's blogs about church & grace & raising kids & white-washed feminism (all inside this past week), I've finally found it! Eureka!!

And I'm not above owning when I'm wrong. The original grace quote in question was made about a year before the "we've been saying this for years" claim. So, the claim is only wrong by the hyperbolic addition of an "s." But I'm still annoyed. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and call me OCD again. ;-)

What all this has to do with blood pressure requires an even less linear thought train. *grins* I've been wondering why that particular sermon has stuck out in my mind so distinctly. And now, having found the offending quote and noted it's time-stamp, I have a theory. *bigger grin*

See, I was pregnant with BD #2 when the claim was made. That pregnancy was a time of great searching for me. Searching for a biblical definition of grace--especially as it relates to how we parent our children. It was during that pregnancy that the Lord began showing me just how much my theology affects my parenting. Our orthodoxy *should* inform our orthopraxy, right? But what if my theological framework is wrong? Wrong about grace? Wrong about depravity? Wrong about our precious children? I'm *still* wrestling through Scripture with these questions.

Still wrestling. Now? More forcefully. I theorize that this quest for quotes is triggered by my blood pressure. No, really! Yanno how certain smells will trigger memories long forgotten? For me, it's that rise in maternal blood pressure during pregnancy. I'm pregnant again, ergo higher blood pressure, triggering convoluted ramblings about grace and parenting. Makes sense to me! ;-)

Or maybe it's just coming to grips with another little baby dragon on the way... knowing that my selfishness will be challenged once again. Being reminded that my theology really does impact my parenting... and the sooner I come to a more clear understanding of a truly *Biblical* definition of grace, the better off my sweet babies will be. All 3 of them.

***Update 7/14/08***

Well, BD#1 has been enjoying watching the "movie of mommy and daddy" this week, a.k.a. our wedding video. There it was!! Not 5 minutes into Pastor's salvation message /address to the family and friends gathered for our wedding (before the wedding party came in): "Grace is God's enabling power to accomplish what He asks of us." .......I can't believe it hasn't jumped out at me before. I'm speechless. I'm still wrong. He *has* been saying that for years. Now why didn't I notice before '05 (when we've been in this church since '95)???

OK, now I'm speechless.

Sola...

2008-06-21T19:09:00.014-04:00

So the Husband is teaching the teen Sunday school class for a few weeks, and has been working his way through the "5 Solas." As his wife, I get to sit in. Good stuff. He's reviewing the basics of his lessons [on his now deleted blog] once he's taught them for class. You should go read them.

Sola Scriptura
Sola Fide
Sola Gracia

Sola Gracia is the big sticking point in Fundamentalism, isn't it? We say we're saved by grace through faith, but we sure don't preach sanctification by grace through faith. Nope, sanctification is by works, don't'cha know?? *rolls eyes*

~~~~~
In retrospect [speaking from my perspective in 2012], this Sunday School series my husband presented was the touchstone for his journey out of our local church. There had always been annoyances in Fundamentalism, those "minor" things that were made into "major" things, but the study that went into this series highlighted doctrinal things that we differed on. Emphases rather than substance perhaps, but differences nonetheless. As the years progressed, it became more apparent just how foundational those differences were.

Welcome!

2008-05-17T02:31:00.007-04:00

So, Lord willing, as I have extra time on my hands (bwhahahaha) I'll be dragging over old posts from my Xanga and archiving them here. For posts with especially relevant comments, I plan to bring the comments along as well. Of course when the muse bites, I might actually write something new.

***Update***
As of 10/20/08 I'm finally done dragging over all the posts from my old Xanga--at least the ones that I'm interested in making public! Naturally I've got a couple of posts in the queue (scribbled on scraps of paper when I wake up with my brain racing at ungodly hours of the night). I 'spose I'll get them up before too long. Best to get them up before Baby Dragon #3 makes their arrival or I'll never get caught up. Trouble is, once I've written the rattling thoughts down they don't bug me any more & the urgency is all gone. It's hard to work that urgency up again--especially with a baby poking it's foot in my diaphragm. LOL Anyway... enough rambling. My blogging history is finally al up in one spot. Have at it!! And "Welcome again!!!" :-)